***Thank you to ALL for your kind welcoming notes.***
As requested, here is my humble story of conversion to Islam.
As I mentioned my mom was very strong believer of Jesus Christ, Mother Mary and God. She still does until today and every morning she will spend her time in the church and chapel to pray for the well being of her 4 grown children. She will also always pray her rosary and read bible. Well, for some reason I always not fond of going to church with her and my siblings except the singing in the church which I love most coz I love to sing. Beside that I don’t feel anything when I am in the church. All I know was that there is a symbol of Christ on the wall and every time I look at the statue and pray, I don’t feel anything.
Being raised in a Catholic believer family and majority of the community was non muslim. I was not exposed to Islam except from the television during announcement of time for solat. When I moved out and stayed on my own, I started to mix with different culture of people and got to know few muslims friends. They told me the wonders of being a muslim if I convert. I can cleanse my soul and have a new life. That’s all I know and because of that “selling strategy” and it met my needs; I believed them and started to give it a thought for 6 years.
My mom did not expected that I would really go for the conversion. She gave me 3 reasons why I should not choose Islam. They are about wearing purdah, 4 wives and no coffin for my body when I die. I gave good answer to her but she reluctant agrees. So, I converted or revert to Islam on mother’s day in year 1999.
In my tiny little heart, I always pray and hope she will be given a hidayah from Allah to be a muslim in the near future as she is a wonderful servant of God. It is not easy to dakwa with her but I am trying also to my other siblings.
Allow me to share also that I received hidayah twice in my life. First was in 1999 and in April last year. I guess I was a stubborn servant that’s why Allah sent more guidance to me. After 1999 I was not changing yet to be a good muslim because I don’t pray. Last April was a hit in my life, a hit that brought my knee down to the praying mat and submit myself to Allah fully. Things happened for a reason, matters that we like may not be good for us and what ever that we dislike may not be bad for us. Allah knows best. I remember HIM only when I am sad but forget him when I am happy. I seldom say thanks to HIM.
At every ruku and sujud I made, at every alfatihah doa that I read, Asyhadu alla ila haillallaah (There is no god but Allah) Wa asyhadu anna muhammadarr rasululullah (Muhammad is Allah messenger) I was weeping for almost 2 months. At every moment I flip the pages of Quran I can actually see the word of Allah, as though he is talking to me. I felt so helpless and worthless. But Allah is so loving, forgiving and merciful, my prayers was answered in October. alhamdulillah
That really have shown me Allah is the greatest. HE is so forgiving and merciful. So long as we ask for guidance and follow his words we can never go wrong and astray from the straight path to his kingdom. subhanaAllah, alhamdulillah, Allahuakhbar….
I am in the midst of changing. I started by covering my hair till chest and have started to perform my solat. It is not easy and need lots of strength and will power to continue but I am grateful and happy with what I am now.