nyerekareem
abdur-rahman
:salam2:
i am so depressed and i do not know what to do anymore. i haven't really been able to sleep, eat or pray. i just lay in my bed pretty lifeless. this past year has been a really bad one for me. nothing has gone my way. i got married in the summer, but my wife was still outside the US. when she was supposed to come there was a problem it has been a big mess, i partly blame it on her because of her irresponsibility. so i have been helping her over there and trying to survive here at the same time. she was working as a teacher and had handed in her notice for leaving. she actually broke a 3 year contract with the school. she rushed into leaving work early before we even had the tickets ready. problem after problem occured with either me or her. it hurts with her because she hasn't been able to find a decent job over there until she can get her papers finalized. it's a long story. now i'm dead broke for covering her and mine expenses and tomorrow/ wednesday she will be evicted from her apartment. i don't have the $150 to bail her out and i really feel bad about it and there is nothing that i can do. she doesn't even have family. so now i'm concerned that my wife will be homeless and may end up doing haram things to survive. i even got a second job that i'm supposed to start soon so i can get her the $322 dollars for her papers, but everything goes wrong in my life. i'm a good man but sometimes i feel that ALLAH SWT hates me.
my family doesn't help, i don't really have friends, i'm afraid to ask at my masjid because they don't even acknowledge my presence. i don't know how much longer i can wait for her anymore. i am always tempted to cheat on her or simply abandon her. i feel bad for saying that, but i have changed my whole life around for her. i'm not getting any younger. i tell you the truth, very often i just feel like dying.
i am so depressed and i do not know what to do anymore. i haven't really been able to sleep, eat or pray. i just lay in my bed pretty lifeless. this past year has been a really bad one for me. nothing has gone my way. i got married in the summer, but my wife was still outside the US. when she was supposed to come there was a problem it has been a big mess, i partly blame it on her because of her irresponsibility. so i have been helping her over there and trying to survive here at the same time. she was working as a teacher and had handed in her notice for leaving. she actually broke a 3 year contract with the school. she rushed into leaving work early before we even had the tickets ready. problem after problem occured with either me or her. it hurts with her because she hasn't been able to find a decent job over there until she can get her papers finalized. it's a long story. now i'm dead broke for covering her and mine expenses and tomorrow/ wednesday she will be evicted from her apartment. i don't have the $150 to bail her out and i really feel bad about it and there is nothing that i can do. she doesn't even have family. so now i'm concerned that my wife will be homeless and may end up doing haram things to survive. i even got a second job that i'm supposed to start soon so i can get her the $322 dollars for her papers, but everything goes wrong in my life. i'm a good man but sometimes i feel that ALLAH SWT hates me.
my family doesn't help, i don't really have friends, i'm afraid to ask at my masjid because they don't even acknowledge my presence. i don't know how much longer i can wait for her anymore. i am always tempted to cheat on her or simply abandon her. i feel bad for saying that, but i have changed my whole life around for her. i'm not getting any younger. i tell you the truth, very often i just feel like dying.