is this right.....and justified

[shichemlydia]

salam alikoum,
hope that everyone is good and having nice time.
my friend lately addressed a lady for marriage, and she refused him because of not having a beard. the lady is mashae allah, she wears jilbab and she belongs to a well reputated family.
my question is: is it right for her to refuse a man for not having a bird, knowing that this man is a pious one, he prays on time in the mosque, he pays zakat, he fast the duties and some of the nawafil and and in addition has a very good character and AKHLAK.
wa salam alikoum

 

[Mohsin]

Assalamu alaikum, I dont want to sound sarcastic but the question maybe asked is it right for the brother not to keep a beard knowing it is a Sunnah of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). To me sister have the every right to say no.

 

[nyerekareem]

Assalamu alaikum, I dont want to sound sarcastic but the question maybe asked is it right for the brother not to keep a beard knowing it is a Sunnah of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). To me sister have the every right to say no.

:salam2:

the sister is not to blame in this situation. she like her potential suitor has the right to have certain standards for each other. i wouldn't even think of marrying a sister that didn't wear hijab. her decision wasn't based on looks of beauty, but rather she wants to be with someone that is trying to implement the sunnah of RASULULLAH as best as possible. that was probably her basic requirement.

the only thing that she should have done was ask him what his position on the beard was. who knows, the brother could have a skin condition or something ALLAH SWT knows best.

 

[BigAk]

.

Allah ta'alla looks at a man's heart.... not how much hair he's got on his face.

Has this sister secured a 100% complete implementation of Islam to an ultimate extent herself that what is left now is securing that her future man should wear a beard??? If her answer to this question is 'YES', then by all means; she should not settle for anything short of a perfectly bearded man.... If her answer is 'NO' then she has surely been unfair to this poor fellow... and to be unfair is far from being a good muslimah.

Does anyone on this forum believe they have covered all basis of becoming the perfect Muslim/Muslimah; or at least know of anyone who has??

Truely amazing; the human kind !!!!!


.

 

[Isra]

salamu alaykum .

what is a bread brother and sisters ?

Salamo Alaikome...

They are talking about facial hair.....beard not bread.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum
Well ... if she based it just on beard than i feel like its not a true judgement cuz she cud have talked to him and asked why he doesn't follow the sunnah and maybe inspired him to ... someone said this on tv on a islamic show "In islam there is beard but the islam isn't inside the beard" (sorry for the bad translation) but basically you cant judge a person if he has a beard or not ... Plus good deeds are based on intentions not what is shown on the face
aslam o alikum

 

[nyerekareem]

aslam o alikum
Well ... if she based it just on beard than i feel like its not a true judgement cuz she cud have talked to him and asked why he doesn't follow the sunnah and maybe inspired him to ... someone said this on tv on a islamic show "In islam there is beard but the islam isn't inside the beard" (sorry for the bad translation) but basically you cant judge a person if he has a beard or not ... Plus good deeds are based on intentions not what is shown on the face
aslam o alikum

:salam2:

that's what i really wanted to know. if she asked as to why he didn't wear a beard. depending on his answer, the sister may have not felt that the brother was suitable for her.

it isn't really about has she kept everything according to the sunnah herself, but rather if she is trying and expects her husband to try as well. think about it, a marriage will not be successful if a brother says i'm going to the masjid to perform isha and his wife decides to go to the nightclub instead.

 

[AlQurtubi]

I think she is 100% right. Untill there is a good match, a marriage is hard to succeed. She has certain criteria like every one else. There is nothing wrong with it.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:

that's what i really wanted to know. if she asked as to why he didn't wear a beard. depending on his answer, the sister may have not felt that the brother was suitable for her.

it isn't really about has she kept everything according to the sunnah herself, but rather if she is trying and expects her husband to try as well. think about it, a marriage will not be successful if a brother says i'm going to the masjid to perform isha and his wife decides to go to the nightclub instead.

:salam2:
well 1st of all it was her decision but ... if she liked the guy and everything was gud and the only reason the guy was rejected than i feel like he shud have had more of a chance than a plain no ... if he is a good muslim than he wud not have a problem with having a beard .. she cud have influenced him and earn hasanat but there might be some social reason that people might show racism if he had a beard so idk i feel like communication is the best way to go

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

The problem with people is that they say what is in the heart is more important. Well in islam, you need action to proof what you heart says...

 

[shichemlydia]

thanks....

salam alikoum all,
thanks to the brothers and sisters who have replied so far, i am convinced that the muslimah could refuse a man eventhough without any reason, this is her choice and she is free to choose.
but the point here is: the beard is not the basis to decide upon someone good or bad, yes we all agree that is the sunnah of our beloved prophet mohamed pbuoh, and none can deny this. we see in this life good people without beard and some bad people with beards, and the same for women, we see good women with modest clothes and some bad women wearing JILBAB. usually the looks are not reliable to judge but the deeds are...
wa salam alikoum

 

[Hasana jafreen]

asalamu alaikum.
The sister is right.she say no to him only because he didnt follow the sunnah.it is noting worng.for their successful marriage they need to have complete understanding.but i think that the brother can beard n talk to that sis again bcoz c is so good n perfect.

 

[safiya58]

salam alikoum all,
thanks to the brothers and sisters who have replied so far, i am convinced that the muslimah could refuse a man eventhough without any reason, this is her choice and she is free to choose.
but the point here is: the beard is not the basis to decide upon someone good or bad, yes we all agree that is the sunnah of our beloved prophet mohamed pbuoh, and none can deny this. we see in this life good people without beard and some bad people with beards, and the same for women, we see good women with modest clothes and some bad women wearing JILBAB. usually the looks are not reliable to judge but the deeds are...
wa salam alikoum

selam,

well said, I totally agree with u sis/bro. One who is dressed islamic (hijab, beard..) is not automatically a better muslim than one who has not a beard... Allah (swt)knows best. Allah (swt) teached us, that the basis of how good we are is our taqwa level... and there is not a "taqwameter" (similar like a thermometer that u can put in your mouth to check ur fever) with which we can check the taqwadegree of someone... only Allah (swt) knows

 

[BigAk]

:salam2:

The problem with people is that they say what is in the heart is more important. Well in islam, you need action to proof what you heart says...

.. How many well bearded individuals have been so sinful and horrible that they actually hurt the reputation of our Islam??

This notion is ......... I better not say anything hurtful......

 

[BigAk]

salam alikoum all,
thanks to the brothers and sisters who have replied so far, i am convinced that the muslimah could refuse a man eventhough without any reason, this is her choice and she is free to choose.
but the point here is: the beard is not the basis to decide upon someone good or bad, yes we all agree that is the sunnah of our beloved prophet mohamed pbuoh, and none can deny this. we see in this life good people without beard and some bad people with beards, and the same for women, we see good women with modest clothes and some bad women wearing JILBAB. usually the looks are not reliable to judge but the deeds are...
wa salam alikoum

Exactly the point I am trying to emphasize... Thanks.

.

 

[Imad]

Assalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Brothers and sister she has the right to choose a good practising husband who grows his beard. She has the right to refuse the one who does not grow his beard. The one who does not let his beard grow, is not fully practising his deen.

Yes indeed growing the beard is a sign of loving and practising the sunnah of our prophet Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him. This does not mean that every person who does have a beard is the right spouse, no of course because you have jews who grow their beard. And yes of course you have brothers without a beard who are far more better than some brothers with a beard.

Every muslimah has the right to choose the best among her brothers. She has to look to:

- The deen and AghlaaQ

If she thinks there is a brother who is better than this brother who has no beard, she has the right to refuse this brother. There is nothing wrong with that.

And Allah know best.

Wassalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh

 

[BigAk]

Assalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Brothers and sister she has the right to choose a good practising husband who grows his beard. She has the right to refuse the one who does not grow his beard. The one who does not let his beard grow, is not fully practising his deen.

Yes indeed growing the beard is a sign of loving and practising the sunnah of our prophet Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him. This does not mean that every person who does have a beard is the right spouse, no of course because you have jews who grow their beard. And yes of course you have brothers without a beard who are far more better than some brothers with a beard.

Every muslimah has the right to choose the best among her brothers. She has to look to:

- The deen and AghlaaQ

If she thinks there is a brother who is better than this brother who has no beard, she has the right to refuse this brother. There is nothing wrong with that.

And Allah know best.

Wassalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh

You're missing the point.... The issue is NOT if she has the right or not... The issue is; if her action is logical and fair to this good fellow who's merely trying to get married; hence fullfulling one of our profit's major sunnah (marriage). Rejecting him on the basis of his beard is just plain illogical and silly... If the messenger of Allah Muhammad (PBU) were to know about this, I would imagine he would disapprove of her action. This is NOT a question about if she has the right or not.
.

.

 

[safiya58]

1) no one have to proove anything to anyone accept Allah.
What shell the brother do now? Grow a beard that she will believe him that he is a good pious muslim?

2) noone has the right to play the Judge and decide over others wether they are following the sunnah or not just because they don´t dress islamic!
This is superficial, even arrogant and not fair. sorry!

3) the charakter of a muslim is formed by praying salah, fasting, donate money, be Godfearing, do jihad, beeing patient in tough times.... these are actions which u can not see with the eyes, or is here anyone u wants to tell me that when someone without beard/hijab will not do this actions because he/she is not pious enough?

 

[AlQurtubi]

I think this thread needs to be closed now. People are saying something which could be very dangerous for emaan

THe muslim should look like muslim by appearance and by its ethics.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Mashallah

Sister Safiya58 & Brother BigAk said almost everything I had in mind...

I just wanted to add something...

If we were to go around worrying about *appearances* in Islam...then charity in secret would not have been praised by Allah (swt) over and over and over again..and we would not have been warned against Riya'a and Pride also...over and over and over again...and Allah would have not praised those who pray while everyone is *ASLEEP*!!!

I will quote a hadith I wrote in another thread a couple of days ago:

"One of you may see the Qithiy (dirt..dust..etc.) in the eye of his brother, but he will not see the Jithe'e (stem of a tree or plant) within his eye".

Try to capture the wisdom and reality behind these words...

We need to leash the temptation to judge others..as we are not perfect either..and in our interactions with fellow man...life is all about *give and take*..and when you focus on marriage..well marriage is all about guiding each other and helping each other out..

If anything..the sister should have married the man..and earned *ajer* of convincing him to grow a beard!

And what if the guy had a beautiful beard..but when checked upon..turned out to be someone who is not good at keeping his salat on time...

What will that beard stand for??? and what allure or respect will it bring to him???

We need to stop and think deep brothers and sisters and consider all "possibilities"

As for the brother..May Allah grant him a wife who will embrace the goodness in his heart and witness the piousness of his acts..Inshallah