Please don't judge me - my long story

hana*

Junior Member
wow!! mashaAllah im lost for words, your story touched the innermost part of my heart, i have goosebumps all over my body now! i wanna cry. firstly congratulations on becoming muslim, the greatest blessing Allah gave you. secondly, if you were a murderer, a drug dealer, a rapist, ... anything ... ANY deed you did in youre past life is WIPED away now, you are like a new born baby, Allah forgives all sins for those who repent with sincerity, no sin is to great for Allah, be sure of that. you and others who convert are better than 90% of born muslims, who carry their religion by name only, who put isalm to shame. it is people like you who will raise islam. i admire this strength and remember Allah will test you to see youre sincerity to Him, He will test those whom He loves, so these tests are good indicators for you despite them being tough. rememeber how much the previous prohets were tested: previuos prophets were killed for their faiths (eg yahya) life is a struggle, but the compensation is jannah. i think its amazing that you will want to tell your wife even though Allah has forgiven your past, that shows your sincerity. gauranteed Allah is with you. anyone who judged you is themselves full of sins - its is not suitable for anyone to judge but Allah! and with regards to brothers wanting to be brothers in islam only but not as friends, well this is the sad reality of muslims today, but new muslims can help us change this.

anyway welcome aboard to the new path

hana
 

TheKnowledgeSeeker

A Believer In Heart
Assalamu Alaykum,

The perfect word is Masha'Allah!! Masha'Allah!!

Brother you have come so far with so much strength, don't give up and have faith for Allah SWT is merciful. When you start asking the why questions always remember that there are those who don't have jobs, homes, who are sick can't get out of bed and those who are in badder places than you. There are those who would give anything to be in your place. Try to wake up early maybe two hours before your job and try to get there early. Try to find halal loans to help you stay in your home and most improtantly have faith in Allah SWT for Allah is merciful. Make duas during this blessing month. Insha'Allah everything will work out for you. I will insha'Allah try to keep you in may duas.
Have faith my brother, time of peace and less worries, reward for your patience await for you!!

To those who send the brother judgemental email remember to judge yoursleves before you pass on judgement on others. None of us are perfect and none of us are sinless. At the end day Allah SWT is the judge of all of us.
 

Zaynab123

Subhana Allah!
Asalamu alaykum
Let me make this as short as i can ya akhi.

ALLaah ONLY tests those that he Loves.

wasalam
 

Bluegazer

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum [Peace be unto you] brother Danyal,


Please have patience, and know that everyone is tried and tested in this life. You have overcome quite a lot. As for any hardship you endure, please reflect upon the following texts from the Qur'an and Sunnah [sayings of the Prophet -peace be upon him]:

O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salât (the prayer). Truly! Allâh is with As-Sâbirûn (the patient).

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 2:153]


And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 2:155-157]


عجبا لأمر المؤمن . إن أمره كله خير . وليس ذاك لأحد إلا للمؤمن . إن أصابته سراء شكر . فكان خيرا له . وإن أصابته ضراء صبر . فكان خيرا له

الراوي: صهيب بن سنان الرومي القرشي المحدث: مسلم - المصدر: صحيح مسلم - الصفحة أو الرقم: 2999
خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح


Abdul Hamid Siddiqui translated the above saying as follows:

Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer. For if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.

[Book 42, Number 7138 of Sahih Muslim]


Sometimes, you notice that in these reality TV shows with big prizes (such as one million dollars), contestants will do things that they would never have dared doing otherwise, like skydiving and such things. Or, to achieve an Olympic Gold Medal, some people will train very hard every day no matter who makes fun of them.

Some people have set goals in their lives, and are willing to endure any hardship to achieve that goal.

And yet, brother Danyal, your goal and the goal of every true Muslim is much higher and much more worthwhile than these earthly pursuits. It is to achieve Allah's pleasure, to avoid entering Hell and to enter Heaven to live there in bliss forever. Surely, if non believers can endure the above hardships to gain earthly pleasures that will end with death after 50, 60 or 70 years (or Allah knows when), then a believer can endure hardships to attain the everlasting and permanent rewards of Allah in the Hereafter.


Stay strong, dear brother, and I ask Allah the Almighty to strengthen your faith and ease your hardship.


Aameen.


Best regards,

Bluegazer
 

etoile_de_mer

Junior Member
Assalaamu Alaykum wr wb brother
i have been through hard times too..it is Allah's test upon us believers...
during the past 1 and a half year everything was grey around me...then i came across a book "Don't be sad" ..and another book for muslim woman..i came to know that to get out of these dark moments u just have to keep asking Allah for forgiveness ..make tahajjud prayers every night...and read "La hawla wa la quwata illa billah ilali yil azweem"
 

arzafar

Junior Member
Mashallah brother, you are one brave muslim.
Inshallah, you will be rewarded for all the sacrifices, hardships and challenges you have faced and are facing. Patience is a virtue, just dont give in after having done so much.
i wish i could borrow some your resolve.
 

marian87

New Member
You are my brother in Islam now, it doesn't matter what your past life was your are a different person and the day you excepted, you had no sin.
That makes you a very lucky person. The fact that Allah has chosen to guide you shows that you are a very special person as-well, cheer up brother life is hard! Think of the prophet s.a.w and how tough his life was, but his strength came in knowing that this life is but over so soon!!! The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. so prepare and be patient p.s. im speaking to myself as i write this ...(i give such good advice maybe i need to listen myself lol)
 

megatron5228

New Member
You are awesome!

:salam2: Br. Danyal
Assalaamu Alaikum Br. Daniel

I read your posting and part of this thread, and I will have to admit that I am very happy and inspired from your life. I do not think anyone is offended by what you said, that is if they read the entire story. Let alone no one is going to judge you. You are in good hands! This should be an inspiration to all Muslims, and let us know that anything is possible from Allah’s will.

It seems like that Allah put you through all this, to persevere, and then to put you in a good position (converting to Islam, of course). Alhumdilliah! When you said that you are not sure you are fully healed, I believe you are fully healed. You may feel that way because you lived a certain life for 25 years, and moved on to something bigger and better.

Insha’Allah, you will find a wife who will accept you, love you regardless of who you are and were. Do not worry about that.

I just want to advise you do not despair, do not worry. Your life is not bad at all. Insha’Allah, your job and rent situation will be alright. Keep up your prayers, read Quran, and possibly read Tahajjud when you get the chance. This will clearly open up your mind and heart. If anything I think your life got better than it was before. You are a practicing and believing Muslim now. Maybe you have not relised, but I feel like that you have come a long way and have got through all the hard tests.

If possible, does your job allow you to work at home via internet/computer?

As far as meeting people and making Muslim friends, its not what you feel like it is. Think about it. You are on the road a lot and working. You have just become a new person and born again. You went from being gay/not-so-religious Christian to straight/practicing Muslim. That is a huge step, let alone changing and making a transition to another lifestyle. It is like you’re the new guy in town moving into another state or another country. My parents and some of family friends migrated from India to the US, they did not make friends or become a part of a community right away. I feel like these things take time. Insha’Allah I know you will have a lot of friends down the road once you put yourself outthere in the Muslim community more. Also, when your job situation eases up (finding another job, shorter commute, etc), all this stuff will flow in faster than you can even imagine.

You have been through a tougher road than what you are enduring right now, life got better for you. Speaking of a tough life, our Prophet endured worse hardships than a lot of us combined.

Thank you so much, I hope to inspire you with my words of advice at a fraction of how much you inspired your readers. God bless you and we pray for you.
 

hussain.mahammed

a lonely traveller
As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu dear brother

I am tired and exhausted as I just had a game of ping pong with some of the brothers. And after coming back to my room, before heading to sleep, I decided to check TTI page. And after reading your story, I just couldn't resist myself from writing a few words even if it may be simple.

Wallahi, brother, the Divine Will and Wisdom of Allah Taala is not known to anyone. When you read the story of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) you've seen how he struggled through out his life. Likewise if you go through the stories of the various prophets and messengers, you'll recognise that none of them had a smooth and easy going life.

Ya akhi, this implies that this life is a bed full of tests and trials until our last breath. To get Jannah is not so easy. If we think that we're getting tired of the tests, we might miss out getting more and more closer to The Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Taala. The trials and tests are a way of getting us more and more closer to our Creator.

May Allah Subhanahu wa Taala guide you always and keep you steadfast in the path of Righteousness. May He give you the best in this dunya as well as in the Akhirah.

I apologize for any mistake in my post, as any mistake is from me.

We all have a long way to go still til we reach our destination.

Until then, auf wiedersein.
 

almanar

Seeking Allah's Love
assalamualaikum.

Allah will surely help you. Hold tight to His rope.

I want to share with you a hadith I have found on tti:

"Allah marvels about the despair of His creatures ('ibad), while the changing of their situation from bad to good is very near, He looks at you, and you are very desperate, so He keeps laughing, because He knows that your relief is very close." (Its isnad is good; reported by AhmadIbn Hanbal and others)

May Allah bless you. Ameen.
 

fatima1994

ƒ3!RY $p!r!T
:salam2:
Bro ur story is amazing and so honest! Inshallah ur in my du'as....Remember if Allah(swt) brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Life is full of struggles and inshallah May Allah ease you through them ameen.

walikumsalam.....
 

DanyalSAC

Junior Member
I would like to thank everyone for their kind and loving replies. It has really bolstered me when I needed it. Granted, there were one or two not quite so supportive results of this post (I received one PM that was so nasty I had to block the person).

My concern was the type of reply I got about the 3rd or so page, when I got the predictable "You don't discuss your past sins...!" reply that I was dreading. For me, I don't consider this discussing "past sins". This is me discussing my story.

If a man committed a crime and spent 20 years in prison for it, is he suppose to ignore those 20 years and pretend they didn't happen just for the sake of "not discussing" past sins? He's in his mid 40s and meets a woman he wishes to marry, shouldn't he disclose the fact? What if she asks him why he's never been married before (and yes, I've been asked that)? What if they get married and they're sitting to dinner at his parents' house and someone mentions "During your second year in prison..." If his wife didn't know, then that wouldn't be a nice way of finding out!

I was in a prison of my own making - with some assitance from the media and society - but its my story, and part of the path that brought me here. I won't deny it, but I won't wear it on my sleeve. It IS part of my past. Like being raised Catholic.

At any rate.. thank you all for your kind words and support. May Allah reward you all greatly.

JazakAllah Khairn
D.
 
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