Resolving issues thread

[Asja]

Absolutely true Asja, thankyou for reminding us of this.

I apologise for perceived harshness although I endeavoured to avoid this, the rest stands as it does, may Allaah heal your hurt feelings, but in the pursuit of saying what was necessary to say in this case, I do not regret the points made in my post.

May Allaah forgive us both and correct our intentions, Ameen.

Indeed, I think we both have.

Wa-salam.

Assalamu Allaicum wa raahmtullah wa baraaktuhu

My dear sister in Islaam, I accept your apology for the sake of Allah and I pray to Allah to forgive us all if we have been wrongful toward each others. Ameen Ya Rabby

We all sometimes make mistake and it can happen that we misunderstand each others, like you have misunderstood me on the begining, but in these kind of situations the best way is that we turn to Allah and that we ask for His gudience InshAllah.

Allhamdullilah I stand behind the truth like I always did and like I always will for the sake of Allah, and I try to be just in every situation as much as I can, and I always pray to Allah to guide me to the right path becouse like I have already said we all make mistakes.

I also stand behind every my word in this thread, behind those words which were understood correctly, and behind those words which were misunderstood. It is enough for me that Allah knows my intentions and may He increase our patience always.

As for taking lesson from this situation, MashAllah I can say that I took mine, InshAllah the same is with you my dear sister. Beside this lesson, I have strenghten my Eman, I have increased my patience and once again I have learnt that when we think that there is no way out and that we are all alone, that Allah is always with every Muslim and that Allah is always with the truth.

Although this was the first time I took participation in your thread, I have been following it and reading it to learn, and later be able to implement knowledge I have gain from it InshAllah. May Allah reward you for your good intentions dear sister and your great efforts. Ameen

Sister Samiha, please let me advice you for the sake of Allah and as your sister in faith, that you should refrein yourself from judging others without asking for the truth, as it is not good to say that one Muslim "may have tryed to accuse other for lying" Astagfirullah, when these are very hard words and I think noone of us wants to come infront of Allah one day InshAllah (The Day of Judgment), with hurting the feelings of his brother or sister. May Allah forgive us all. Ameen

I have learnt also that one loves his sister in faith with honest and pure love, without asking nothing in return, and this is Allahs mercy toward us Muslims, toward our Ummah.

Today my little cousin came to visit me (he is only 5 years old MashAllah), and he asked me "Who do I love the most". Before giving him my answer, he answered on my question for himself and said "Do you know whom I love the most. I love Allah the most, and then I love all others, but Allah, I love Him the most SubhanAllah. This is the beauty of our Creator, beautiful ar the hearts that He has created, and we are greateful to Allah that He has guided us to the right path, to the path of Quran and Sunnah, to the path of Islaam.

Jazzak Allah khair and I ask forgivness of Allah once again if I hurted your feelings sister. And may Allah guide us and forgive us all. Ameen ya Rabby

Assalamu allaicum wa raahmatullah wa barakatuhu

 

[saifkhan]

as salam 'aalykum

I seriously have no clue what's going on

wassalam

 

[Tomtom]

as salam 'aalykum

I seriously have no clue what's going on

wassalam

I think this is just a girly thing that none of the bros would understand.

 

[esperanza]

I think this is just a girly thing that none of the bros would understand.

well even idont really understand,,

 

[al-fajr]

Assalamu'alaykum,

Its not a random thread, its a dispute refuge spot.. You may need it someday and I would prefer it not to be clogged up with people saying they don't understand it. Thats not surprising considering you were not involved in the initial conversation.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Assalamu Allaicum wa raahmtullah wa baraaktuhu

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

Ukht, I apologise ahead of time if this post hurts your feelings or is offensive in any way.

The fault lies with you sister, I say it out of love for you that you should apologise to the sisters weather or not you understand what your fault is. I see that you haven't understood the matter. And you feel you've been blamed and talked to for no reason. That's not true.

I will not try to explain to you because I can't do it any better than al-fajr or Samiha, both of whom you couldn't understand. I will only say, suppose you are wrong, and al-fajr apologises just to keep it friendly, you've missed a chance to a lot of ajar.

I understand that you didn't do anything on purpose, you were not challanging the rules (as she took it) and that you meant nothing offensive, but since offense has been commited at your end. Apology to be on safe side is the best strategy. I see, she's adopted that strategy already.

I have no special emotions attachmed to any of you, to take sides, so that's out of question. You are as much a sister to me as she is. I'm only saying what I've observed. Forgive me if my observation is inaccurate.

BaarakAllaahu feeki.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh.

 

[Asja]

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

Ukht, I apologise ahead of time if this post hurts your feelings or is offensive in any way.

The fault lies with you sister, I say it out of love for you that you should apologise to the sisters weather or not you understand what your fault is. I see that you haven't understood the matter. And you feel you've been blamed and talked to for no reason. That's not true.

I will not try to explain to you because I can't do it any better than al-fajr or Samiha, both of whom you couldn't understand. I will only say, suppose you are wrong, and al-fajr apologises just to keep it friendly, you've missed a chance to a lot of ajar.

I understand that you didn't do anything on purpose, you were not challanging the rules (as she took it) and that you meant nothing offensive, but since offense has been commited at your end. Apology to be on safe side is the best strategy. I see, she's adopted that strategy already.

I have no special emotions attachmed to any of you, to take sides, so that's out of question. You are as much a sister to me as she is. I'm only saying what I've observed. Forgive me if my observation is inaccurate.

BaarakAllaahu feeki.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh.

Wa Allaicumu sallam wa rahamtullah wa baraaktuhu

Dear sister how can you ask from me to take the guilt for something I did not done or said. By Allah this is not just, and it is not right thing to do, not in this case not in any other.

I belive you have red the thread, and as someone who took participation of the thread from the begining you know very well that the rules of main thread were changed much before I replyed. I have done nothing but replyed on the thread like other members before me did. But the isue was and isue is, and the reason of all this unnecesery discusion, is and I must say this, and Allah knows it is the truth, that sister al fajr did not act just toward me with saying that I did not respect the rules, when she knows very well that I did replyed by the rules. Becouse all members before me participated in the thread by the same rules like I did, and it was not problem for them.

And even to say Astagfirullah that I had intentionaly disrespected the rules, when it was only that I have misunderstood sister rules as she was changing them trough the whole thread. I still can not understand the reason why all this has been done, becouse if I have made mistake sister could have kindly correct my mistake, and we could continue with the thread InshAllah, but to say those hard words to your sister in Islaam, it is something what I can not understand, it is something on what I am not used on SubhanAllah.

And yes sister al fajr offered her apology for this what hapened, I accepted it Allhamdullilah, she is my sister in Islaam. I have also offered my apology to sister aj fajr, but I can not say that I am responsible for something I did not done. Noone would do that SubhanAllah, and this would not be just to do.

I can share responsability for this, but to take the whole responsability on myself, wallahi I can not do that, it would not be just thing to do.

I still do not understand dear sister how can you call me on responsability for something I did not done? Is this what Islaam is teaching us? Allhamdullilah it is not.

I apologise for being in need to reply this numbere of times on the same thread, but SubhanAllah sometimes ones need to reply one thing million times untill it does not become clear.


And I have to say that I do not have any more strenght to continue with this disscussion, only Allah knows how much everything this has hurted me, wallahi only Allah knows.


Wa la hawle wa la quwete illa billahi

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Hard words?

Wa-alaykum assalam,

Alas. Rules have been officially violated, dunno if I'll cope.

Okay;

EDIT: never mind.

- If there is ever a point where the thread is not moving at all, we will use Asja's clues. It could be very soon.

Is that okay, Asja? You've given us a safety net.

 

[Asja]

These words dear sister, which I have already explained in my previous posts Alhamdulillah.

Please sister, I do not have streght anymore to reply,and for me is enough that Allah knows the truth.Alhamdulillah I have already explained everything and brought proves.

And Allah knows the best.

I cannot imagine that you have read the rules prior to posting in this thread, or you have misunderstood them.

Your job is to try and guess the answer to the posted clues until you guess correctly, not post your own clues over riding the last person who solved the previous one.

I will leave this matter in the hands of sister SeekingAllah's Mercy and Samiha, one of these sisters are rightfully supposed to be posting the next clues because they were nominated by sister Aisya, it is not your turn.

SubhanAllah, this is really quite basic.

Wa-salam

Following are Sister Seeking Allah's Mercy's clues:


Jazakillaah khayr.

wa'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu

Sister Asja, let's just say I have a lot of things I wish to say to you, but will refrain.

You say you came in order to alleivate strict rules, but sister - this is not for you to do. If you wish to have a more 'relaxed' thread, please do make one of your own and insha'Allaah there will be participation in it. But if you're going to come to this thread, then please just try to respect the sister's wishes.

But you have to understand where the sister was coming from when she mentioned it wasn't your turn and not make it into an issue of lying.

I don't want to see any more accusations and derailments in this thread.

BaarakAllaahu feekum

Rules: http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=516091&postcount=126


What I find blameworthy is your disregard for the accepted rules, simply because you personally did not like them, you have admitted it was not even a mistake on your part and you intentionally went against the rules, subsequently, you claimed your 'rights' were being taken away from you when you knew full well how the rest of the participants were conducting themselves? This makes no sense.

 

[samiha]

Assalamu Allaicum wa raahmtullah wa baraaktuhu

Sister Samiha, please let me advice you for the sake of Allah and as your sister in faith, that you should refrein yourself from judging others without asking for the truth, as it is not good to say that one Muslim "may have tryed to accuse other for lying" Astagfirullah, when these are very hard words and I think noone of us wants to come infront of Allah one day InshAllah (The Day of Judgment), with hurting the feelings of his brother or sister. May Allah forgive us all. Ameen

wa'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu

Is this advice or accusation? Look, I don't mind people who advise me sincerely, sometimes it's a hard pill to swallow sure, but what you are doing is not advice. It's an accusation plain and simple, and you can reply sister all you want saying you wish to stand for the truth, and I believe it in your mind that you do, but that is not what's going on here. You are saying by your advice that I have judged others without asking for the truth, and then put words in my mouth.

Please re-read my post. I have not judged anyone. I mentioned that I do think sister al-fajr is a little hard on her rules sometimes, but since it's her thread, why not just accept it instead of getting all offended? And then I explained how by the rules, yes you have broken them, which you still don't seem to understand sister. I have not said you've done some evil or bad thing, just that it's a mistake on your end so accept it as such. So what truth am I not judging?

Second - you say:

But you have to understand where the sister was coming from when she mentioned it wasn't your turn and not make it into an issue of lying. You did not participate in the thread before - you didn't answer any question - and so that part in bold you quoted from al-fajr did not apply to you.

Why? Because in your first post you said to al-fajr :

Please dear sister , lets be just and truthfull like Islaam teach us,and lets learn from those who were the best example in folllowing our Deen Islam. Isnt this thread opened for this reason?

So if you're asking her to be just and truthful, what does that imply? You do not tell a person, "let's go outside" if they're already outside - the only time a person asks another to do something is when they are not currently doing it. So you have said by your words that she was not being just or truthful, so I mentioned that in mine. Even though it's just one of the many other insinuations peppered in the posts.


I had no need to reply, even though I don't agree with a lot of what you say, since I think speaking with you is a bit futile, since you all I've seen is that you get hurt sister, without even thinking what would have been the better option for you. You speak about Islaam, so what have we learned? When we are treated with something we don't like, we don't complain about it, we return it with good.

ISSUE SUMMARY

So you did something outside of the rules - she told you off for it, like she's done to others (there goes your just/fair issue) and offered you an alternative solution to agree - you got offended and misrepresented the rules - I tried to correct you on them - you think I'm not judging fairly - and also accused her of all sorts of things and acting as if she's being unfair only to you and everyone else was treated differently - which made her reply - but you just think that we should all learn a good 'ol lesson, but you won't even admit that maybe, just maybe you made a mistake in understanding how sister al-Fajr's rules were meant to be, and not that she was unjust to you, and put words in her mouth about how mean she was with her hard words and how she was unfair to you and now made you hurt so bad only Allaah knows, but she's the one who apologized to you before that already, both in case she hurt your feelings, and for any harshness you might have felt, and everything was good and dandy, then you came back to lecture her and me once again after the issue was settled, just to assure how dedicated to the truth you are and want justice and making a big mountain out of a molehill once again and crying about hard words she's already apologized for many posts back. Let me refresh your memory:

Absolutely true Asja, thankyou for reminding us of this.

I apologise for perceived harshness although I endeavoured to avoid this, the rest stands as it does, may Allaah heal your hurt feelings, but in the pursuit of saying what was necessary to say in this case, I do not regret the points made in my post.

Point blank: There is no reason to get so offended. It's not a big deal. And sister, really, being on a forum you have to get a thicker skin and try to exercise some husn ad-dhan for your fellow sisters, instead of reacting so strongly. I've tried to be nice and civil this whole time, but since it's being ignored, I hope my frankness is enough in this case.

Also I don't see why you keep continuing this effort. What are you expecting to achieve? Another apology?

I'm the one who should be crying here for getting the wrong answer or something, eish.

You're right. Allaah knows the truth, walhamdulillah for that!

 

[al-fajr]

Asja: Realistically, I don't actually care much if you or anyone else broke the rules even if someone just wanted to be a rebel that day to see what would happen, good on you? It would not warrant this thread and such attention.

Initially as you can see from my first response, I didn't even mind and your clues would have been included in the normal motions of the game anyways I was not saying we were to disregard them.

Notably, you said your rights had been taken from you, you perceived being dealt with unjustly and then you implied I was deceitful, that is what the issue was/is. Merely breaking the rules is minor in comparison to this.

I will no longer attempt to rationlise irrational behaviour, we have taken what we can from this incident I think, I will leave some time for you to post if you want to, then the thread will be closed.

Wa-salam

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum wa raahmtulah wa baraaktuhu

May Allah help me InshAllah


Dear sister Samiha, it was advice on my side to you based on your deed, and it was honest advice for the sake of Allah, please accept it as souch as it was given with good intentions. It was not accusation, and it is not good and from Islaam to accuse someone without the proof.

Allhamdullilah I accept that from one side it stays that the rules have been broken if you take in consideration the rules that were posted in the main thread, but if you take in consideration that sister al fajr said that the rules have been changed with time then therey were not broken.

Please sister note that I could have misunderstood the rules since they were changed, so I do not understand why you still continue with saying that they have been broken. Also sister note that is not from Islaam and that is not just to say to one member he has broke the rule, and to not say to all other members that this was the case with them also.

"not make it into an issue of lying"- here you have implyed that I have made this into isue of lying when this was never my intention Astagfirullah, when I have never even tryed to this. And even after this you still asked me why I have gave the advice I have given you. I did it becouse I thought it was neccesery not only for you but for all of us.

I did not asked only from sister al fajr to be truthful and just, I asked it from myself aswell and all of us. What we have learnt from this is that we should always try to be just and merciful toward each others, becouse we are Muslim, wallahi only Allah knows how is hard to be good Muslim and how much efforts one has to give to try to reach the status of a good believer.

Dear sister Samiha please do not misunderstand me, do not say I have came to lecture you Astagfirulah, this is not the right way, my intentions have been only directed to explain the mistakes that have been made trough all this isue, to explain that it is not right to put guilt on someone when you know he was not guilty. How would you felt dear sister if you were in the same situation, just look how you have reacted even when this was not your case, now can you imagine how much patiente I needed for all this. And yes my feelings got hurted, it is not my fault that Allah made me sensitive, so that you tell me "you are crying for someones words". We do not all react the same, I am not like you, I can not act the same like you, Allah made us different SubhanAllah.

And to end this I am not trying to achive anything. Allah is enough for me Allahmadulilah.

I have already apologised myself for my mistakes, I have asked for forgivness for my mistake, I took part of responsability on me.

What do you expect dear sister that I say that everything was my fault. If this is the case, then I am sorry dear sister, by Allah I can not take the burden that is not only mine, I can only help carry it.


And Allah knows the best


Yes dear sister please close the thread for the sake of Allah and all of us. This all disscusion was not good and may Allah never again test us with something like this. Muslims are brothers and sisters and this is great reward for us but also great responsability for us. We should take care of each others, and not hurt each others.

May Allah forgive me for my mistakes, and too all of us InshAllah

 

[thariq2005]

Assalaamu `alaykum

Who would like a house in Jannah? Check this out:

Abu Daawood narrated on the authority of Abu Umaamah that the Messenger of Allaah :saw2: said:

أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ، وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا، وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ، وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا، وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ

"I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even if he is joking; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners."

[Abu Da'wud, 4800; also found in 'Tahdhib al-Kamal', 3/498; 'Mu'jam al-Kabeer', 7488; 'al-Bayhaqi', 10/249 and others - graded as Hasan by al-Albani in 'Saheeh al-Targheeb wat-Tarheeb', 6/3; and Ibn Baz in 'Khashiyah Buloogh al-Maraam', 810]

Something for all of us to ponder over...