WHEN WE SLIP
Emaan is the core of all actions. It is the motivation necessary for a Muslim to accomplish whatever needed to lead a good life.
Depending on the strength of his emaan, a person may or may not be able to abandon sinning, strive against his own desire and compel his soul to take heed.
The strength of emaan does not only show itself in the apparent deeds; true emaan actually fills and saturates the heart. Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, pointed out
"... three (factors), whoever has them will find the sweetness of emaan: that Allâh and His Messenger are more beloved to him than any thing else, that he loves a person solely for the sake of Allâh, and that he hates to revert to disbelieve, as he hates being thrown into hellfire." (Bukhari and Muslim) In another hadeeth, Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said,
"(He has) experienced the taste of emaan, who is contented that Allâh as his Lord (Rabb), Islâm as his religion and Mohammed as a Prophet." (Muslim).
We have to be certain that our emaan is deeply rooted into our hearts. A person may repent to Allâh, following the path of righteousness, yet emaan may not have entered his heart. So, at the first sign of destructive desires, doubts set in and convictions dissipate. Signs that this disease has entered the heart include rigidity of our hearts, courage in committing sins and laziness toward good deeds.
Balance emaan with Islâmic knowledge
Just as a person needs emaan for motivation, action and strength in the heart, he, likewise, needs knowledge, to do what is right, rectify his worship and purify his turning to Allâh alone. When emaan and Islâmic knowledge are deeply rooted into a person's heart, there remains no possibility for him to turn away from the path of righteousness.
"The seizing of amanah (trustworthiness) and emaan (which has been reported in the authentic hadeeth) is not the seizing of knowledge," Ibn-Taymiyyah said, "For it is known that a person may be bequeathed with emaan even though he lacks knowledge. An emaan like this one could be snatched from his heart -like the emaan of Bani-Israel after they saw the calf. "As for the one bequeathed with both, knowledge and emaan, emaan is never seized from his breast and such a person never reverts from Islâm. Conversely, if one is bequeathed with Qur'ân alone or emaan alone, emaan can be seized and this is the reality. We have seen it often that the most to revert from Islâm are those who recite Qur'ân, without understanding or emaan, or those who possess emaan without knowledge and Qur'ân. But as for the one who has acquired Qur'ân and emaan, and hence obtained knowledge, for this one, emaan is never seized from his heart and Allâh knows best." (Majmou'a al-Fatawa 18/305).
The mere memorization of the Qur'ân and concepts does not mean one has acquired knowledge, especially since the Qur'ân is read by the munafiq (hypocrite), the mu'min (believer) and the illiterate. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said,
"Knowledge is of two types; knowledge in the heart and knowledge on the tongue. So knowledge in the heart is the useful one while knowledge on the tongue is Allâh's argument against His servants."
Seeking Islâmic knowledge saves thoughts from turning to desires and sins because there is no spare time, and because those things pale in the face of the joy of the revelation of truth. He will be so engrossed in the pleasure of acquiring knowledge such that the chance of him looking for activities that may weaken his emaan or cause him to deviate will be minimum.
Slough the dead skin of sin Allâh says,
"You counted it a little thing while it was very great in the sight of Allâh." [24:15] Some companions said, as reported by Anas,
"You are doing deeds which you view to be finer than a hair, but we, in the days of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, used to consider them as major sins." (Bukhari).
Viewing sins as little things has adverse effects:
-The sins multiply in the sight of Allâh.
-The path of repentance becomes distant, since he does not anymore feel a need for it. It is the one who realizes its severity, adheres to making istighfaar (asking for forgiveness) and regretfully seeks repentance from Allâh who has his sin erased.
-He is drawn to individuals similarly engrossed. This alone is among the major factors behind a person's deviation. Moreover, it results in him avoiding the gatherings where Allâh is remembered. As a result, opportunities that would otherwise help him remain steadfast on good deeds are missed.
-The sin becomes a hard habit to break. Even if the sins are minor, they gather around a person leading him to devastation, as Allâh's Messenger warned. Abdullah bin Mas'ood said,
"Beware of viewing the sins as little for they gather upon a person till he is devastated and Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, has coined a similitude for it as a group of people stopped in a desert and the cook among them arrived. So a person would go and bring one stick, and another one would go and bring one stick till they gathered many of them, lit a fire and brought to ripeness all that they have thrown in it." (Authentic, Ahmad)
Arrogance and pride are traps
These two attributes are among the worst for man to acquire. Arrogance and pride led Iblis (Satan) astray, although he was in the company of the angels. That happened because, Allâh tells us,
"I (Iblis) am better than him (Adam). You created me from fire and him You created from clay." [7:12].
If one does not rid himself of arrogance and pride, an end similar to that of Satan is a sure result. But even a little part of them-especially if related to how one views one's worship-can very devastating to one's emaan:
-Claiming perfection leads one to not feel the need to improve himself through good deeds and other means of nurturing his emaan. But emaan as stated by scholars either increases or decreases. Therefore, it will certainly decrease when one does not work hard to increase it with a lot good deeds.
-Admiring one's own deeds results in the gradual relinquishment of worshipping Allâh, because worship is based on humbling oneself to Him and acknowledging that all the gratefulness is to Allâh and to Him alone. How could one be proud of his deeds while Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, used to say, "None of you will be saved because of his deeds." They asked, "Not even you Oh Allâh's Messenger?" He said, "No, not even me, except that Allâh bestows me with His mercy." (Bukhari and Muslim)
-When one loses the fear of requital it becomes easy to forget about falling from the straight path. A sense of security in this aspect can be the first step towards falling a victim to it. Would such an arrogant person continually beseech Allâh for guidance and seek steadfastness on his path?
-Vanity leads to backbiting and rumor mongering. Moreover, whomever mocks his brother about a particular sin will not die till he himself succumbs to it.
Tackle Tarbiyah with Joy
After a person has turned to Allâh in repentance, he leaves behind an enormous amount of evil ideas, perceptions and habits. It is not possible to get rid of all the past by a mere repentance to Allâh. A personal training effort (Tarbiyah) is required to erase all the effects. An effort that ingrains the right emaan and sufficient Islâmic knowledge to further pave the road with a firm foundation. Taking a quick look at the apostasy events that occurred in the days of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, much evidence supports this fact. Was there any among the Muhajireen or Ansaar who defected? Were there any defectors among those who witnessed the battle of Badr? Or the Ridwaan Pledge? Or those who accepted Islâm in its initial phase? Were there any of those among the apostates about whom Allâh says,
"Only those are the believers who have believed in Allâh and His Messenger, and afterward doubt not but strive with their wealth and their lives for the cause of Allâh. Those, they are the truthful." [49:15].
Most of the apostates/defectors comprised those who had just recently entered the circle of Islâm and had not yet received the type of training that would instill emaan and its branches in their heart. Mere repentance and an apparent change are neither the first step nor the last. In fact, it is only one step in the right direction, which is followed by putting in an effort to attain emaan and taqwa. To attain emaan and taqwa, find a group which assists through regular encounters.
One cannot be expected to experience the fruits of brotherhood and sisterhood, when isolated and not practically involved with others. Find an appropriate example that can help one stand up against daily challenges by holding tight to the rope of Allâh altogether.
However, the being within a group must hinder one from developing his own formidable relationship with Allâh in the form of deeds far away from the sight of people. One must spend the effort in worship at night, charity, siyaam, seeking knowledge and so on. One must try to create an intuition of individual responsibility within himself as it is established in the Qur'ân,
"Whoever goes right, then he goes right only for the benefit of his own self. And whoever goes astray, then he goes astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear someone else's burden." [17:15].
Furthermore, Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, explains how a person is responsible and accountable for his own deeds by saying,
"There is none among you but his Lord will speak to him without an interpreter. He will look to his right and will find only his deeds. He will look to his left and will find only his deeds..." (Bukhari & Muslim) All this and much more must make a person aware that his being in a group is good and recommended, but still it does not exempt him from the individual responsibility he has to account for on the Day of Judgment.
Predominance of desires
Deviation from the right path is caused by one of the two factors- either
doubt which has mixed with clarity and truth,
or desires which predominated a persons heart and hence, deviated and obstructed him from the truth and obeying Allâh, a factor clearly noticed in our days.
The ones who repent and turn to Allâh are just as human as any one else- they desire as others do. The problem of lustful desires begins primarily with an evil look or idea and ends with flooded actions or an erupted volcano-leading a person to perversion.
You find a person following the path which pleases Allâh but once he sights something forbidden (e.g., a beautiful woman), a struggle in his heart begins; the light of emaan is kindled within him calling him to repent and turn to Allâh. Eventually, the pitch of this call is reduced and the call of the desire rises. In this way, an immense struggle within begins. At one stage, the call of emaan might predominate and he overcomes this hurdle, even if the dust of the sin might have touched him, which he immediately washes off with repentance and good deeds.
On the other hand, he might respond due to a weakness in emaan and the light of desire rises and predominates, ensnaring his heart and obstructing any chances of turning to Allâh. As a result, he falls victim to the sin and can not turn to Allâh in repentance, which would raise him from this downfall. At this moment, he would say to himself, "You have already been affected by the dirt of sin, so you might as well keep on going. So many times you have tried to repent, but to no avail. You are weak, there remains no hope for you to repent, and your way is different from that of the pious!"
The ugly gut of excessiveness Whenever Allâh commands us to do something, Satan incites us to fall into either extreme-either exaggerating the act on one hand or be negligent and careless about it on the other. Even though the latter is a common phenomenon with many, Satan chooses to incite one towards the opposite extreme of exaggeration and immoderation. Accordingly, we have been warned against taking such an approach as Allâh says,
"Say, O people of the scripture, exceed not the units in your religion." [5:77].
And Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said,
"Beware of ghulow (excessiveness) in religion, for indeed, what devastated those before you was ghulow in religion." (Nisaai) In another hadeeth he said,
"Those who go to extremes (in preaching their religion) were killed and destroyed." (Muslim).
Being immoderate in worship is a deviation in itself, but nevertheless, it is not the end of the road. When a person takes the first step towards immoderation, he overloads himself in a manner while an easier path could have been opted for. One might be capable of enduring this path for some time, but eventually after recognizing the tiresome effort he had to sacrifice, he starts contemplating a retrieve. But here, the excitement which led him in the first place to chose the road of extreme immoderation will not be sufficient to return him to the road of balance and moderation. In fact, it will transfer him to the opposite extreme of negligence and carelessness. None of this overburdening approach is encouraged in Islâm since we should always remember that our deeds alone are not good enough for us to enter Jannah. Allâh's Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, clarified this by saying,
"Be moderate and practice the same in proportion and know that your deeds will not make you enter Jannah and the most beloved deeds to Allâh are those which are regularly done even if they were little."
Choose friends wisely
There is no doubt that the company of friends influences the formation of our characters. For this reason, Allâh's Messenger, said,
"A person is influenced by his companions religion, so watch who your companions are." (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi) This influence is acquired from two aspects:
1. The first is acquired in the company of relatives, neighbors, school and all those with whom a person is compelled to spend time.
2. The second type of influence is acquired within more religious company which is likely to meet those who are less concerned. Though they pray and fast, they are less serious in carrying the message of Islâm, dawah, sacrifice, etc. And if a person's faith is weak and is inclined towards desire and negligence, he will find comfort in this company.
The effects of this influence become apparent through certain factors that include doing things he never used to do before. He begins considering those on the deviated path as examples in life and as a result, he starts imitating them saying, "If he can do this, why can't I?"
He begins to please others at the expense of pleasing Allâh by performing actions never done before or abandoning some good deeds. He abandons, for example, praying sunnah, or starts showing up late for congregation salah, starts getting used to watching and hearing forbidden things- as a result, he even stops forbidding the evil. All this is no doubt a consequence of weak emaan and the influence of either a bad company or a group who are less serious with Islâm and more inclined towards desire.
http://www.abdurrahman.org/character/fallingintosin.html
olygamy, it s not listed akhi.
. sometimes I feel a bad quality has been in her too. Alas ! my son still 1 month , the same problem with him too. So I think people from home will handle them during day, and I have to play toys with them at night.