Why 2nd wife?

[amyaishazouaoui]

:salam2:

I knw this sounds really weird to some of you but I wouldnt have a problem with my husband taking another wife.

If I was in a situation where I was treated fairly and respected and happy then why cant i wish that for my sister??

If there was a sister struggling and at risk I would sooner my husband marry her and keep her safe then her suffering and unpleasant things happening to her.

Marriage isnt just about love, and theres nothing wrong with wanting for someone else something you would want or have yourself.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

I think one wife's hard enough. Women are tough man. Besides I seem to have this effect on women; they don't get to like me much. Would hate to see more than one woman disliking me that much. I think I'll stick to one wife, .. if I'm lucky.

Brother, I am tough and complicated for women too.

 

[Ummzaina]

Assalaam alaikum sister Amyaisha,

Alhamdlillaah for sisters like you...I hope to keep the same faith that if the situation for my husband to marry another wife arises Insha Allah I will accept it and try helping my husband keep the whole family financially and emotionally secure...
I think most of the problems arise when the intentions of the husband are not purely religious or when the first wife's family objects to their daughter being subject to something most societies think as being backward. The funny thing is as someone else mentioned many readily accept/and/or forgive husbands having extra marital affairs but faint at the mention of a second wife!! I think this is a very important topic as the younger generation are being fed the garbage of everlasting love and Prince charming and fairy tales of one man loving one woman from the moment they meet until they die and forever after...as we all know this type of love lasts not long unless both married partners love each other for the sake of Allah, there will be cases of cheating on one or both sides.
I think many couples can and may like to opt for a second or third wife but as the society pressures them into thinking that it is degrading for the first wife to share her husband they may not go into it even if both partners are willing...

 

[ditta]

Asalamu Alykum,

Thats what i was sort of saying, even though i am not sister. Wouldnt the sister want her sister to be happy too. Think about it, its a Sunnah. So extra reward. Also its that feeling when you make someone else happy too. Just think about it deeply, a sister is out there praying for a husband. Im not criticising or anything and it can be difficult to let go of your love to someone else, but the cool thing is atleast you wont get bored, you will cherish the moments that you are with him. Also it is important to make yourself happy as well.

But to counter what im saying, i havent been through anything like this and it could be tottaly different from what im saying, like issues could arise, doctors appointment; "i cant see you today because my other wife has a appointment so yeah cya." <-- That was a bad example, but im finding it difficult to come up with examples that could arise.

Although could there be a jealousy thing. Again i dont want to be disliked here at TTI because your my Bros & Sis's, so please if im offensive, which i dont try to be then let me know and i will apologise deeply and ask for forgiveness.

:salam2:

I knw this sounds really weird to some of you but I wouldnt have a problem with my husband taking another wife.

If I was in a situation where I was treated fairly and respected and happy then why cant i wish that for my sister??

If there was a sister struggling and at risk I would sooner my husband marry her and keep her safe then her suffering and unpleasant things happening to her.

Marriage isnt just about love, and theres nothing wrong with wanting for someone else something you would want or have yourself.

Asalamu Alykum,

Your funny bro. (I needed a smile so Jazakallah Khair for providing it)

Wasalam

Brother, I am tough and complicated for women too.

 

[amyaishazouaoui]

:salam2:

I would also like to say that there is NO shame is being a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife. And actually thse sisters who have co wives and thier marriages are functional , successful, happy and fruitful, I have to ay mashallah to you, your co wives and your husbands.

No marriage is without tis problems, but I know sisters with co wives and mashallah they seem very happy.

I think for it to be successful you need to be very close to Allah and also not backbite your co wives.

Also remember that your husband will be totlally different with hi other wives. You are married to one side of him and your co wife to a totally different side of him that you may never see.

I have seen co wives going out together and looking after kids together, cooking for each other when one is not well or just given birth. Its a great baby sitting service when you and your hubby want time together too.
Its about cooperation too, you need to be honest and totally open.

it about true sisterhood, loving each other for the sake of Allah and nothing else.

 

[ditta]

Asalamu Alykum,

^^^^^The above post just says it all. ^^^^^

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam

 

[visionusman]

Humour aside, I can of course not disagree with the Sunnah of the Prophet SAW. However this is a difficult world. If the choice is between having a happy wife who helps you in raising your children, having a happy marriage or on the other hand having a totally un happy marriage but the ability to help another woman, than I would probably choose a happy marriage and try to help the other woman in some other way.

Having been through an unhappy marriage I know how destructive that is. Could not do that again. May Allah protect us all.

 

[Ummzaina]

:salam2:

I would also like to say that there is NO shame is being a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife. And actually thse sisters who have co wives and thier marriages are functional , successful, happy and fruitful, I have to ay mashallah to you, your co wives and your husbands.

No marriage is without tis problems, but I know sisters with co wives and mashallah they seem very happy.

I think for it to be successful you need to be very close to Allah and also not backbite your co wives.

Also remember that your husband will be totlally different with hi other wives. You are married to one side of him and your co wife to a totally different side of him that you may never see.

I have seen co wives going out together and looking after kids together, cooking for each other when one is not well or just given birth. Its a great baby sitting service when you and your hubby want time together too.
Its about cooperation too, you need to be honest and totally open.

it about true sisterhood, loving each other for the sake of Allah and nothing else.

Assalaam alaikum,
I too have a friend who has a co wife and she even left her two young sons with the second wife for a few days while the first wife and husband took some time off to take a trip
I think sisters like this makes our society stronger, imagine what the kids will be growing up with.A strong family bond,tight knit secure household, Insha Allah such children will grow up to be the men and women who will follow Sunnah the way it must be followed unlike our generation who are still being blinded by the glare of stereotypes...
Another thing is that if Allah The Most Merciful permitted man to marry more than 1 wife who are we to say otherwise, We hear and we obey should be our only motto and pray for His mercy and blessings.
Those men who do not think they cannot do justice between the wives must rethink and think again as being just is a most commendable quality in every muslim...financial and emotional security in a man I think is very important. If my husband were to remarry I wouldnt wish for his children from either of us co wives to suffer and jeopardise their future of a good religious education which these days do not come cheap...

 

[hussain.mahammed]

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu

Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar....
I am really impressed to see that so many brothers and sisters hold the view of polygamy. Thats what makes the Ummah strong. Reviving the Sunnah is our duty in a world full of fitnah. Insha Allah, May Allah help us to keep our family safe, sound and emotionally, mentally secure and May He put Barakah in all our deeds, which we do for HIS sake only.
Sister umm hussain, the post was a much needed one. May Allah make things easier for you and help you in this dunya as well as in the AKhirah.
Ma saalam

 

[Muhammad_A]

It also saves sisters from having to marry unemployed bums (in the American sense) like me

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

I dont think it is good to differentiate "first wife" , "second wife" and etc

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaamalikum,

I think polygamy will be at it's peak when one of the signs of the future nears: "The number of men will decrease, whilst the number of women will increase, until for every man there are 50 women."

 

[muslima_1]

Salaamalikum,

I think polygamy will be at it's peak when one of the signs of the future nears: "The number of men will decrease, whilst the number of women will increase, until for every man there are 50 women."

Hopefully we won't be alive by that time lol, ploygamy doesn't work for me my husband is not looking for another wife and i sure won't tell him to look for one, simply because i don't wanna share him. there are things you can share with somebody else but not the husband if you know what i mean.. besides i am the jealous type.. guess what? i know what you are thinking!! at least i'm being honest about it... come on people.. lol.

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

Hopefully we won't be alive by that time lol, ploygamy doesn't work for me my husband is not looking for another wife and i sure won't tell him to look for one, simply because i don't wanna share him. there are things you can share with somebody else but not the husband if you know what i mean.. besides i am the jealous type.. guess what? i know what you are thinking!! at least i'm being honest about it... come on people.. lol.

:salam2:

Thanks for being honest!! Lots of women feel the same.

How about having your husband join us here at TTI so we can know his opinion, honestly too? Just kidding Sister.

:salam2:

 

[hussain.mahammed]

:salam2:

Thanks for being honest!! Lots of women feel the same.

How about having your husband join us here at TTI so we can know his opinion, honestly too? Just kidding Sister.

:salam2:

That was full of wit....
wa/salam

 

[UmmOf3]

:salam2:

I knw this sounds really weird to some of you but I wouldnt have a problem with my husband taking another wife.

If I was in a situation where I was treated fairly and respected and happy then why cant i wish that for my sister??

If there was a sister struggling and at risk I would sooner my husband marry her and keep her safe then her suffering and unpleasant things happening to her.

Marriage isnt just about love, and theres nothing wrong with wanting for someone else something you would want or have yourself.

Salaam aleikum...

I partially agree with all this, but think about one thing. I dont know what it is like in other nonmuslim countries among the muslims, but atleast here in Norway, its a huge difference between muslim men and women, its much more men...

So if I knew of a single woman, my husband would do everything to match her with any of his single brothers.

Because, why not wish for your brother, what you yourself has...

 

[muslima_1]

:salam2:

Thanks for being honest!! Lots of women feel the same.

How about having your husband join us here at TTI so we can know his opinion, honestly too? Just kidding Sister.

:salam2:

He is right here, reading the thread with me and you know what he said, even after i'm dead he won't remarry!! just kidding.. but seriously he is happy with one wife, we love each other and i think his love is only for me, i wanna be the only wife, i guess that makes us one big happy family lol.

 

[UmmOf3]

He is right here, reading the thread with me and you know what he said, even after i'm dead he won't remarry!! just kidding.. but seriously he is happy with one wife, we love each other and i think his love is only for me, i wanna be the only wife, i guess that makes us one big happy family lol.

That is, more or less, our case too. My husband dont wanna go there, even, because he doubt he can be equal, and also because of love, and because he cant afford it...

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

He is right here, reading the thread with me and you know what he said, even after i'm dead he won't remarry!! just kidding.. but seriously he is happy with one wife, we love each other and i think his love is only for me, i wanna be the only wife, i guess that makes us one big happy family lol.

That is, more or less, our case too. My husband dont wanna go there, even, because he doubt he can be equal, and also because of love, and because he cant afford it...

And because the stick is probably in both of your hands!!! :fighta:

 

[dna1987]

And because the stick is probably in both of your hands!!! :fighta:

Lol!!

I can almost imagine how the general conversation would progress. Something like:

Husband: AND :blackhijab: ???

UmmOf3/muslima_1: ?!?!!

Husband: ...

UmmOf3/muslima_1: :angryred: %^@*(!@

Husband:

UmmOf3/muslima_1: :tantrum1:

Husband:

UmmOf3/mulisma_1:

Conversation Over.


Lol. Jokes jokes .... I'm just kidding big sisters. Salam alaikum.