It is quite sad indeed. I do not know how these parents can go to bed at night knowing what they have done to their daughters who look to them for protection.
I know a sister who is almost 30 years old and still not married because she would not marry from the family and she will be an outcast if she chooses someone to marry without parents approval. Actually she is kind of an outcast alreay because she refused to marry some relative. I think she is quite brave to refuse and now her next step is to find a suitable brother of her choice inshallah.
Below is an article I found interesting and educational.
In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
Source: Fatwaa from “Al-Masaa’il ul-Maardeeniyyah
Translator: Aboo `Abdillaah Muhammad al-Jibaalee
May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:
1. That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others.
2. That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.
People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said:
"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
Thus the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa';ishah, radhiallahu `anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered:
"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?
Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.
As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.
And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.
Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah ta`ala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah ta`ala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?
Courtesy Of: Islaam.com
