Self Confidence

[Muslimah16]

:salam2:
I have no self confidence.
No self respect.

i think i am getting self respect and pride mixed up.
Because i have no respect for myself, people think they can walk over me. :angryred:
I want to show them that i am not going to stand for this, and i do have feelings. :angryblue::angryblue:
i have been hurt in the past also all because i cant speak up for myself.
What am i to do?

Any advice?

 

[naaad]

Wa Alaikum as Salaam sis,
probably you are too kind to pay back the people who hurt with the same....
being kind is good but not to the extent that you lose yuor respect among people...

 

[Muslimah16]

If the 16 in your user name is your age, you're still very young and still building your personality! It takes time and practice.

A Muslim is both proud and humble and is respectful of others and himself or herself. What a Muslim is not is conceited, condescending, coward or lowly. To balance all these attitudes requires patience and practice. Just keep working at it and it will pay off eventually.

JazakAllah akhi.
It just really makes me sad that people use me and dump me like i am some sort of trash.
InshAllah like you said 'keep working at it' please make dua for me. Its really affecting me.

My username? No i typed it wrong when i registered, i am really 61 years old. Its a shame i cant change it now.
NOTT!! Just kidding, I am 16. :lol::lol::lol:
:tti_sister:
Take care
wasalaam

 

[Muslimah16]

Wa Alaikum as Salaam sis,
probably you are too kind to pay back the people who hurt with the same....
being kind is good but not to the extent that you lose yuor respect among people...

Too kind?! I just dont want to hurt their feelings. Because then i have to apologize, which i dont mind but what if they dont forgive me? (Sorry if i sound abit harsh)
I dont want Huqooq-ul-ibaad (Rights of the people) to be the cause of my failure in the hereafter!:astag::astag:
Allah protect us inshAllah on that days of all days, Aameen.

Please make duaa for me.

 

[~Ali_]

:salam2:
I have no self confidence.
No self respect.

i think i am getting self respect and pride mixed up.
Because i have no respect for myself, people think they can walk over me. :angryred:
I want to show them that i am not going to stand for this, and i do have feelings. :angryblue::angryblue:
i have been hurt in the past also all because i cant speak up for myself.
What am i to do?

Any advice?

Assalamualaikum Sister, hm... no self confidence LOL! ive got the same problem BUT! learn to back yourself up, learn to speak up, learn to defend when attacked. I have to agree with the others, self confidence does grow in a certain period of time. Why do you have no confidence in yourself? do you think yourself worthless? By the will of Allah you can do anything.

Inshallah you can overcome this.
I am 18 and I feel that the battle is nearly won.
Walaikumasalam.

 

[Muslimah16]

Assalamualaikum Sister, hm... no self confidence LOL! ive got the same problem BUT! learn to back yourself up, learn to speak up, learn to defend when attacked. I have to agree with the others, self confidence does grow in a certain period of time. Why do you have no confidence in yourself? do you think yourself worthless? By the will of Allah you can do anything.

Inshallah you can overcome this.
I am 18 and I feel that the battle is nearly won.
Walaikumasalam.

Pheeww.....someone i can relate to,..
Seriously? i have no idea why i have no self confidence....
no wait....... i used ot get bullied in primary, but surely the effects are not showing now right? right?
i dont know................i dont feel like interacting with people because of this aswell.

InshAllah make dua for me brother.
Wasalaam,
Take care

 

[TheSecret]

Do not associate with people who put you down. You need to respect yourself before others can respect you. Gaining the approval of others while compromising your own integrity will further keep you down. Realize that those who do not respect you are not worthy of your time. Associate yourself with people who respect you for who you are. In time you will find that respect is something that is earned but if you cannot respect yourself you will never achieve it.
Good luck Sister and InshAllah you will gain the respect you deserve

 

[Muslimah16]

Do not associate with people who put you down. You need to respect yourself before others can respect you. Gaining the approval of others while compromising your own integrity will further keep you down. Realize that those who do not respect you are not worthy of your time. Associate yourself with people who respect you for who you are. In time you will find that respect is something that is earned but if you cannot respect yourself you will never achieve it.
Good luck Sister and InshAllah you will gain the respect you deserve

AAw, jazakAllah for that. that is really good advice brother, seriously.
i think i'm gonna have to take that into consideration.
There are some people who make me feel like i am worth this small>>>>>>>> .
Literally.
JazakAllah once again.

Take care

 

[runayrus]

Dear sister

:salam2:

First of all, *hugs*. I was bullied too throughout my secondary school life. I was once called "najs face". Do you know how I felt back then? Now that I am older (shhh, can't reveal age, hehe) I learnt that every single minute of our life is dedicated solely to Allah. Even in my working life, I have been put down many many times. People calling others derogatory names, let Allah punish them accordingly.

But dear sister, know that you are better than those people and never cease your duaas for them (good duaas =)). Insya-Allah will give you Guidance. I agree with some posts that our brother/sister mentioned about don't be extremely kind until you lose self-respect. If you do not feel comfortable about doing something, you should say it.

I love you sister, for the sake of Allah. I hope you feel better soon.

Sister Nur

 

[~Ali_]

Pheeww.....someone i can relate to,..
Seriously? i have no idea why i have no self confidence....
no wait....... i used ot get bullied in primary, but surely the effects are not showing now right? right?
i dont know................i dont feel like interacting with people because of this aswell.

InshAllah make dua for me brother.
Wasalaam,
Take care

I got bullied in Primary also, I got bullied in High School also, I got semi-bullied in College, Now I am in Uni. imade it through

AND every time I moved up a year alhumdulillah I gained respect for myself, like I said it comes with time. If you dont feel like interacting with people, then dont! no one is forcing you(unless its a activity, a-must, etc)!

Remember, what happened is in the past, whos to say the future will be the same? - DONT care what other people think about you, DONT care how people see you, you have a mission, make sure you see it through, failure is not a option

These people in primary, and through all your schooling years, you will not every know them in a few years.... so dont care about what they say,do or think.

Talk when your talked to.
Keep to yourself.
Learn to walk-away, and remember you dont have to win every arguement.
You say you have no self confidence because of what happened in the past... that was in the past.. let it go, something greater is out there waiting for you.

My own family makes me feel this small >>>>.<<<<
I turn around and prove them wrong
Dont live for others. You dont need their approval on anything, if they dont respect you, you cant force them, leave them be.

 

[runayrus]

I got bullied in Primary also, I got bullied in High School also, I got semi-bullied in College, Now I am in Uni. imade it through

AND every time I moved up a year alhumdulillah I gained respect for myself, like I said it comes with time. If you dont feel like interacting with people, then dont! no one is forcing you(unless its a activity, a-must, etc)!

Remember, what happened is in the past, whos to say the future will be the same? - DONT care what other people think about you, DONT care how people see you, you have a mission, make sure you see it through, failure is not a option

These people in primary, and through all your schooling years, you will not every know them in a few years.... so dont care about what they say,do or think.

Talk when your talked to.
Keep to yourself.
Learn to walk-away, and remember you dont have to win every arguement.
You say you have no self confidence because of what happened in the past... that was in the past.. let it go, something greater is out there waiting for you.

My own family makes me feel this small >>>>.<<<<
I turn around and prove them wrong
Dont live for others. You dont need their approval on anything, if they dont respect you, you cant force them, leave them be.

:salam2: brother,

I dont mean to digress but I cant help but smile when you mentioned that you were semi-bullied in college. Did the bullies tickle you brother? I apologise for I am not belittling your experience, but just intent to lighten this topic. =)

Sister Nur

 

[Abdul Hasib]

:salam2:

Aw, these are the sweetest stories ever!

Sister, always (and I said ALWAYS! ) remeber that to show good character and manners, and not to be mean or harsh to those who are bad to you, and Alhamdulillah, you have that (<I know this isn't what you wanted to hear )

But, at times, you need to also show your enemies that you aren't going to let them pick on you or treat you with disrespect. Like I tell people, "That I'm not scared of anyone of you, but the reason why I don't "beef" with you is because I want to have good character, the way a TRUE Muslim should be."

And also remember sister, that it's best to let what they say to slide. But if they start attacking you with anything that's related with Islam (with the fact that you, Allahu Akbar, are wearing a Hijab *salute* ), THEN you need to get hard core! LoL.

Anyway, gotta go...

 

[~Ali_]

:salam2: brother,

I dont mean to digress but I cant help but smile when you mentioned that you were semi-bullied in college. Did the bullies tickle you brother? I apologise for I am not belittling your experience, but just intent to lighten this topic. =)

Sister Nur

hahaha na my brother didnt go to the same school i did.

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

"A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry."

Al Muwatta Hadith 47.12 Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra

You think you are weak, but actually you are not.

Thats because you see alot of people expressing their anger, It makes you feel weak, but thats just a false feeling.

Forgiveness is what makes you very powerful. Its easy to get angry, but only few people who can forgive and tolirate.

Each one of us has a will. And as we all know, It is very hard to control this will.. And only the strong can do that. Be willing to always forgive, Be the strong. Don't let the weakness of others effect you.

 

[islamisthesolution]

:salam2:
I have no self confidence.
No self respect.

i think i am getting self respect and pride mixed up.
Because i have no respect for myself, people think they can walk over me. :angryred:
I want to show them that i am not going to stand for this, and i do have feelings. :angryblue::angryblue:
i have been hurt in the past also all because i cant speak up for myself.
What am i to do?

Any advice?

first of all hugs and kisses in the air for my beloved sister Muslimah
second of all who dares make you angry or mad just tell and i am going to knock them down :fighta:
no lets talk seriously how to have a self rspect and self confidence?
actally people are important but you have to take care about yourself you dont need to do something special to make them respect you just be who you are .
as long as you do the right thing dont care about what people think or say or treat you .
as brother Ayman told you . youre still young and there is alot to learn in this life
and as a teenager its alittle normal to feel these feelings so its ok
the more you grow the more you learn so dont rush things everything is gonna be fine and dont you ever underestimate yourself .
and you have a great personality which makes me love and respect you
so keep strong and smiling dear sister
love your sis
:salam2:

 

[kashif_nazeer]

:salam2:
I have no self confidence.
No self respect.

i think i am getting self respect and pride mixed up.
Because i have no respect for myself, people think they can walk over me. :angryred:
I want to show them that i am not going to stand for this, and i do have feelings. :angryblue::angryblue:
i have been hurt in the past also all because i cant speak up for myself.
What am i to do?

Any advice?

Sister DO NOT FEAR THEM....
As Allah says in the Qur'an :'Innamā Dhalikumu Ash-Shayţānu Yukhawwifu 'Awliyā'ahu Falā Takhāfūhum Wa Khāfūni 'In Kuntum Mu'uminīna

That is only Satan who frightens [you] of his supporters. So fear them not, but fear Me, if you are [indeed] believers. (3:175)

 

[Muslimah16]

:salam2:

First of all, *hugs*. I was bullied too throughout my secondary school life. I was once called "najs face". Do you know how I felt back then? Now that I am older (shhh, can't reveal age, hehe) I learnt that every single minute of our life is dedicated solely to Allah. Even in my working life, I have been put down many many times. People calling others derogatory names, let Allah punish them accordingly.

But dear sister, know that you are better than those people and never cease your duaas for them (good duaas =)). Insya-Allah will give you Guidance. I agree with some posts that our brother/sister mentioned about don't be extremely kind until you lose self-respect. If you do not feel comfortable about doing something, you should say it.

I love you sister, for the sake of Allah. I hope you feel better soon.

Sister Nur

sister,
Firstly, jazakAllah for your reply.
im happy that im not the only one facing theses sort of problems.

InshAllah ill feel better soon, besides i have loadz of brothers ans sisters here making dua for me( i hope so anyway! )

I love you too. keep making dua inshAllah.

 

[Muslimah16]

I got bullied in Primary also, I got bullied in High School also, I got semi-bullied in College, Now I am in Uni. imade it through

AND every time I moved up a year alhumdulillah I gained respect for myself, like I said it comes with time. If you dont feel like interacting with people, then dont! no one is forcing you(unless its a activity, a-must, etc)!

Remember, what happened is in the past, whos to say the future will be the same? - DONT care what other people think about you, DONT care how people see you, you have a mission, make sure you see it through, failure is not a option

These people in primary, and through all your schooling years, you will not every know them in a few years.... so dont care about what they say,do or think.

Talk when your talked to.
Keep to yourself.
Learn to walk-away, and remember you dont have to win every arguement.
You say you have no self confidence because of what happened in the past... that was in the past.. let it go, something greater is out there waiting for you.

My own family makes me feel this small >>>>.<<<<
I turn around and prove them wrong
Dont live for others. You dont need their approval on anything, if they dont respect you, you cant force them, leave them be.

You made it through?! Kool, that gives me some hope for myself.
Really something great out there waiting for me?? Gee, i hope so, inshALlah.

JazakAllah for your supporting replies brother, its really nice of you.
Some good advice too,

I hope Allah make life easy, for you and keep you alwayz in the best of health. Ameen

Take care

 

[Muslimah16]

:salam2:

Aw, these are the sweetest stories ever!

Sister, always (and I said ALWAYS! ) remeber that to show good character and manners, and not to be mean or harsh to those who are bad to you, and Alhamdulillah, you have that (<I know this isn't what you wanted to hear )

But, at times, you need to also show your enemies that you aren't going to let them pick on you or treat you with disrespect. Like I tell people, "That I'm not scared of anyone of you, but the reason why I don't "beef" with you is because I want to have good character, the way a TRUE Muslim should be."

And also remember sister, that it's best to let what they say to slide. But if they start attacking you with anything that's related with Islam (with the fact that you, Allahu Akbar, are wearing a Hijab *salute* ), THEN you need to get hard core! LoL.

Anyway, gotta go...

How do you know i do hijab?? Hhmm..............
The last bit made me laugh

JazakAllah for that brother,
some good stuff

take care

 

[Muslimah16]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

"A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry."

Al Muwatta Hadith 47.12 Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra

You think you are weak, but actually you are not.

Thats because you see alot of people expressing their anger, It makes you feel weak, but thats just a false feeling.

Forgiveness is what makes you very powerful. Its easy to get angry, but only few people who can forgive and tolirate.

Each one of us has a will. And as we all know, It is very hard to control this will.. And only the strong can do that. Be willing to always forgive, Be the strong. Don't let the weakness of others effect you.

JazakAllah for that brother.
i hope all this helps me inshALLAH, PLZ MAKE DUA FOR ME