Would you Marry a...

[Muslimah16]

For the time being Turkey is a hard place to live for a good Muslimah.Government institutions dont accept hijabis for work.They cant even study at uiversity in hijab.But I hope it wont go on like this forever.Things are changing in Turkey.Inshallah Muslims and muslimahs will have better conditions.Make du'a for your brothers and sisters.

inshaAllah, it wont be like this forever, there will be better conditions, Allah is with us.
Its really good to see that you are worried about the situations arising.

May Allah bless you and reward you. Aameen
InshaAllah you are all in my duaas

 

[slaveofAllah88]

loll. Dont be so hard on yourslef, OFCOURSE a sister will marry you!
InshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for you.

JazakAllah for that (btw great job...) Put a gigantic smile on my face!!

:salam2:
Yes someday someone Inshallah will eventually end up with me lolz hopefully some pious sister Ameen
thx for the great job but sister all the credit goes to you you always make interesting threads putting a huge smile on everyone's face

JazakAllah keep making everyone smile sister Inshallah Allah will reward you with Jannah Ameen

 

[alhamdullilah]

Um, I was one of two people who said "no way" i guess. Puts me on the spot.
But the reason i said that is because i know myself, and i know that marrying a new convert (I assume you mean new convert, because I have no problem marrying a learned and educated convert) needs alot of patience. Especially now adays it would take alot of patience and teaching to help them understand, islam, and I don't believe i have that patience.

In the end, allahu a'lam I might end up marrying a new convert, but as of right now; no i dont believe i would, i'd much rather marry a muslimah that has even more knowledge about the deen than me, so i can hasten and catch up with her so as not to be embaressed, and we both learn from each other and help each other.

 

[palestine]

Asalamu alaykum wrwb...well before i changed and i will explain this in a moment, i used to want to marry ANY kind of muslim so long as they were following the sunnah, whether they are convert/revert or born muslims. however i am no longer looking forward to the future of marriage due to many many reasons. what i mean that i changed is, that i was the kind of person who looked forward to getting married "someday", i was the kind who didn't mind who is from where...however i've come to realize many things in my "own little world". basically what i'm trying to say is although i know it's wrong...i don't feel up to marriage AT ALL. i've just completely stopped putting any focus or thought into it. i'm fed up with this world where many men, NOT ALL(please don't be angry) view women only as sexual objects....yes even many so called muslims are like this. it seems hard to even convince the parents that you want someone outside the race....it seems as though you've turned their world upside down when you even bring it up. besides i have all of these thoughts of me in the future and i feel as though my temper, my lack of organization and my lack of patience will ruin someone else's life. i feel that i will not be able to live up to the standards of a "good wife" and i feel as though i will turn out to be a bad mother. this is the biggest issues i have...and instead of going out there and ruining someone else's life...i'd rather stay single. i know marriage is half the deen and i know that it is a blessing from Allah....but i know myself well enough to know that i most likely won't turn out to be that "zawjatu saliha( pious)" that i always wanted to be...i could go on about this topic all day but i won't. sorry for pouring out all my thoughts. didn't mean to go off topic. but if i was someone who was still interested in marriage i would say "of course"!, asalamu alaykum wrwb

 

[Muslim_Gurl]

salamzz

actually, i prefer marrying someone from my backround...no offence to anyone, i just think it'll be easy to get along with. sooo.....im unsure

 

[ousama34]

salam

Asalamu alaykum wrwb...well before i changed and i will explain this in a moment, i used to want to marry ANY kind of muslim so long as they were following the sunnah, whether they are convert/revert or born muslims. however i am no longer looking forward to the future of marriage due to many many reasons. what i mean that i changed is, that i was the kind of person who looked forward to getting married "someday", i was the kind who didn't mind who is from where...however i've come to realize many things in my "own little world". basically what i'm trying to say is although i know it's wrong...i don't feel up to marriage AT ALL. i've just completely stopped putting any focus or thought into it. i'm fed up with this world where many men, NOT ALL(please don't be angry) view women only as sexual objects....yes even many so called muslims are like this. it seems hard to even convince the parents that you want someone outside the race....it seems as though you've turned their world upside down when you even bring it up. besides i have all of these thoughts of me in the future and i feel as though my temper, my lack of organization and my lack of patience will ruin someone else's life. i feel that i will not be able to live up to the standards of a "good wife" and i feel as though i will turn out to be a bad mother. this is the biggest issues i have...and instead of going out there and ruining someone else's life...i'd rather stay single. i know marriage is half the deen and i know that it is a blessing from Allah....but i know myself well enough to know that i most likely won't turn out to be that "zawjatu saliha( pious)" that i always wanted to be...i could go on about this topic all day but i won't. sorry for pouring out all my thoughts. didn't mean to go off topic. but if i was someone who was still interested in marriage i would say "of course"!, asalamu alaykum wrwb

salam sister palestine i have read your thread and felt sympthy for you,, i cant change your mind about marriages ,, but as your brother in islam its my duty to give you good advice and be your well wisher,, only an alim or a knowledble islamic person can give you perfect advice which i am not but still reading your views make mme sad and i feel for you,,
all i would say is every1 has problems and issues within themselves but it doesnt mean tht they cant be a good life partner or parent sometime in life you find some1 special who can change your life completely and gives a 360degree turn in one's life and as far as kids goes once you become parent there is a whole new and lovely expereince ( i m not a parent just wht i beleive and imagine) ALLAH puts love and kindness in a parent's heart for their kids ,, sister all you have to do is pray and make dua for tht special 1 and you will see how ALLAH make things easy for you (i myself hoping the same for myself so you r not alone)

 

[LaLa09]

i voted of coarse, but i'm a little scared that the person might actually want to convert back and leave me to think..."so now what?" lol. But if they are serious about the religion then i guess its okay w/ me.

 

[palestine]

salam sister palestine i have read your thread and felt sympthy for you,, i cant change your mind about marriages ,, but as your brother in islam its my duty to give you good advice and be your well wisher,, only an alim or a knowledble islamic person can give you perfect advice which i am not but still reading your views make mme sad and i feel for you,,
all i would say is every1 has problems and issues within themselves but it doesnt mean tht they cant be a good life partner or parent sometime in life you find some1 special who can change your life completely and gives a 360degree turn in one's life and as far as kids goes once you become parent there is a whole new and lovely expereince ( i m not a parent just wht i beleive and imagine) ALLAH puts love and kindness in a parent's heart for their kids ,, sister all you have to do is pray and make dua for tht special 1 and you will see how ALLAH make things easy for you (i myself hoping the same for myself so you r not alone)

Well jazakAllahu khayran akhi. My cousin tells me the same thing you did all the time....i try to think positively but inshaAllahu ta'ala i will try and make myself a better muslim. may Allah reward you for your efforts. asalamu alaykum wrwb

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

Taqwa differs people. If the revert has all characteristics that good islamic match should have, than what’s wrong? The misconception around is some people take revert as they are learning and themselves as learned ! a wrong base and approach. rather It is seen that many revert muslims who adhered sunnah strictly and knowledgeble of deen.

Revert is not the condition that is to be seen when looking for a match. So InshaAllah people should marry those whose deen ascertain them.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum,
ALhumdulilah so glad to see so many Yes, its amzing cuz i feel like our new generation has surpassed the barrier of racism, due to internet and technology with the world being on ur finger tip at the click of a mouse Its great to see this happening
Inshallah our parents will follow hopefully hehe

 

[alhamdullilah]

Has nothing to do with racism......

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Has nothing to do with racism......

:salam2:
well it does, maybe i should say from wat i see it does.
In my culture when you mentioned a white women , the immediately jump to conclusions that she is someone who is sleeping around and drinking alcohol, doing all the wrong even if the person is a good muslim but she is white they will judge her as the other non believers.

Its all about the race, everyone thinks they are better than the others even when Allah (swt) and Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) said not to, the majority of the problem that parents have with their kids marrying a revert is that they think oh what will the society say when they hear our kid married outside our race/culture and they fail to realize in islam there is no color, no race, no division forces, Muslim ummah is one and it stands above all.

 

[Abdulhalim]

Salaam,

I don't see any problem in marrying a convert/revert. It is actually a pleasure to have one..

 

[ihyatalha]

Salamz

Salamz. Personally I love revert brothers and sisters. For me they are the best muslims. Thats why when I have kids of my own I will want them to marry ONLY reverts. I would myself, but unfortunatley I come from a very very backward community that have a massive influence on my family and i'm sure it is exactly the same case with everyone who is 'first generation' living in this country - basically those who have parents from pakistan/bangladesh/india. Children who have parents from these ends on most occasions will have backward aka tradional parents. But my advice to people in this type of situation would be, not to cause controversy over this type of issue. If the parents are prepared to cause a massive fight and row over the son/ daughter marrying a revert, then my personal advice would be to marry someone of your own nationallity - because its not a 'fard' on you to marry a revert and its not as if you will not be able to find what your looking for from your own ethnicity!In my case I asked my mum why she would not accept me marrying a revert after throwing hadith after hadith at her and verses from the quran. She new she could not escape from what I said because I backed it up with authentic sources (quran/sunnah) but she came out with quite a clever answer. She asked whether a revert girl could adapt to our type of households and would they be comfortable living with the in laws and in my case my younger brothers who are still in studies?Would she feel comfortable not being able to communicate with everyone in the family and extended family because they may be speaking bengali/hindi/urdu? I think these are valid points but again I think it can be overcomable. These types of arguments can tell anyone that parents who bring up these types of points want to say a blank 'NO' to their kids but cannot because they realise that they need to stay politically correct - well, those parents that decide to actually sit and discuss things with their kids (most traditional parents DO NOT TALK TO THIER KIDS, KIDS JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT unfortunately).

 

[alhamdullilah]

When I say convert, I mean NEW convert.... A learned and educated convert are usually the best of muslims. As umar (RA) said "You can't feel the true beauty of islam, until you've tasted the bitterness of ignorance", or something to that extent, I believe i'm paraphrasing.

 

[alhamdullilah]

And brother shaheer, when you say it like that, that means when someone answers "No" to the poll, it is a racial decision. And that is not the case.
I infact would prefer to marry outside my ethnicity (if but only to set an example), but would rather not marry a new convert.

 

[ihyatalha]

What characteristics I would look for in a sister? Well I like people who have 'peace making' abilities. Im terrified of rebellious aka twisted combined with too sensitive people. Don't get me wrong, I like sensitive but not combined with 'twistedness'. Im scared of people who argue and rebell. I like calm people who are always out to discuss and understand things. Someone who is prepared to change if they are rationally convinced by something. Someone who does not have an ego and is prepared to put themselves down constantly if they are wrong about something and will change as a result of it. I deteste arrogant people and this is a attribute of shaytaan. Personally, I would marry a person who comes from an 'oppressed' background as these types of people (if they remain sane by the end of all the oppression) most likely will have calmness, patience and perseverance as these are attributes they would have needed in order to survive the oppression. I have so much respect for these people and it would be an honour to spend my life with that type of person.

 

[Muslimah16]

Um, I was one of two people who said "no way" i guess. Puts me on the spot.
But the reason i said that is because i know myself, and i know that marrying a new convert (I assume you mean new convert, because I have no problem marrying a learned and educated convert) needs alot of patience. Especially now adays it would take alot of patience and teaching to help them understand, islam, and I don't believe i have that patience.

In the end, allahu a'lam I might end up marrying a new convert, but as of right now; no i dont believe i would, i'd much rather marry a muslimah that has even more knowledge about the deen than me, so i can hasten and catch up with her so as not to be embaressed, and we both learn from each other and help each other.

MashAllah, you were honest!
And thats what matters the most, even if we do have different opinions.
I can understand where you are coming from though.

Patience?........... I think i have the same problem.
May Allah help us. Aameen.

 

[Muslimah16]

:salam2:
Yes someday someone Inshallah will eventually end up with me lolz hopefully some pious sister Ameen
thx for the great job but sister all the credit goes to you you always make interesting threads putting a huge smile on everyone's face

JazakAllah keep making everyone smile sister Inshallah Allah will reward you with Jannah Ameen

Oh! I put a smile on peoples faces? Aaww that puts a smile on my face.
JazakAllah for saying that brother, i had a rough day today, and i'm feeeling much happier now

Aameen to your duaa, may Allah reward you with the same and grant yout a pious muslimah who will keep you and your family happy alwayz inshAllah.

Take care

 

[Muslimah16]

Asalamu alaykum wrwb...well before i changed and i will explain this in a moment, i used to want to marry ANY kind of muslim so long as they were following the sunnah, whether they are convert/revert or born muslims. however i am no longer looking forward to the future of marriage due to many many reasons. what i mean that i changed is, that i was the kind of person who looked forward to getting married "someday", i was the kind who didn't mind who is from where...however i've come to realize many things in my "own little world". basically what i'm trying to say is although i know it's wrong...i don't feel up to marriage AT ALL. i've just completely stopped putting any focus or thought into it. i'm fed up with this world where many men, NOT ALL(please don't be angry) view women only as sexual objects....yes even many so called muslims are like this. it seems hard to even convince the parents that you want someone outside the race....it seems as though you've turned their world upside down when you even bring it up. besides i have all of these thoughts of me in the future and i feel as though my temper, my lack of organization and my lack of patience will ruin someone else's life. i feel that i will not be able to live up to the standards of a "good wife" and i feel as though i will turn out to be a bad mother. this is the biggest issues i have...and instead of going out there and ruining someone else's life...i'd rather stay single. i know marriage is half the deen and i know that it is a blessing from Allah....but i know myself well enough to know that i most likely won't turn out to be that "zawjatu saliha( pious)" that i always wanted to be...i could go on about this topic all day but i won't. sorry for pouring out all my thoughts. didn't mean to go off topic. but if i was someone who was still interested in marriage i would say "of course"!, asalamu alaykum wrwb

JazakAllah sister for replying, it means a lot to me
No no no, its good you let out your thoughts, we are your family

Its understandable, what you have to say and may Allah help you.
At least you are thinking that you dont want to spoil another guyz life! :ma:

And you would say 'of course'.....? So, thats good.

Take care ukhti,