My dear friend,
First of all welcome to TTI. We try to answer, to the best of our abilities, whoever comes to this forum genuinely seeking to know more about Islam. Moderators can be strict on those whose sole purpose to come to this forum seem to be to ridicule, abuse or patronise. Thats what they are for and they are doing a good job of that!
The Holy Quran says,
Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance. 16:125
I donot know to what extend you understand the Islamic concepts of theology. So, I will try and explain the basics first.
Islam is not a new religion invented by an Arab in the desert 1400 year ago. Islam has been the religion of the first man, Adam (btw, muslims donot believe in part of evolution that tries to convince the world that humans evolved from apes and rightly so, as there is no convincing scientific proof, only hypothesis. we have no objection in evolution within the species as part of the beings' adaptation to the natural environment. Anywyz, thats digressing from the topic and a different discussion altogether!). The theological concept is that from the first man Adam, who was a prophet to the last prophet, Muhammed (Peace be upon them both) the preaching has been the same i.e., belief in One God. Only the laws which guide their lives were different for different prophets and has been finalised by the last prophet.
Allah, btw, is Arabic word formed from Al (The) and Ilah (Lord). Not a new word founded by the Arabian Prophet. Infact you wound find the same Allah in Arabic Old and New Testaments. The first arabic New and Old Testament translations were written around 400 years after the death of Prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon him). So the word Allah only means The Lord and is accepted as The Name for The One God by all arabic speaking people regradless of religion.
The Islamic concept of prophethood starts from the first man Adam and includes Nuh (Noah), Ibrahim (Abraham), Ismail (Ishmael), Ishaq (Issac), Yunus (Jonah), Yaqoob (Jacob), Yusuf (Joseph), Musa (Moses) and Isa (Jesus) to mention a few. May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon them all. Each and every community of people that ever lived on the surface of the earth were sent a prophet conveying the same message of belief in One God. Some believed, some didnt and yet others strayed away after the prophets passed away.
Allah mentions in the Holy Quran
And every nation had a messenger; so when their messenger came, the matter was decided between them with justice and they shall not be dealt with unjustly. 010.048
Prophet Muhammed (Peace be Upon Him) was the last and final Prophet.
Allah mentions in the Holy Quran
Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things. 33:40
That's in brief regarding the concept of God and Prophethood.
Regarding your doubts about what is outside the expanding universe. I dont know the answer to that. But what the Holy Quran does say is,
Have not those who disbelieve known that the heavens and the earth were of one piece, then We parted them, and we made every living thing of water? Will they not then believe? 21:30
And it is We Who have constructed the heaven with might, and verily, it is We Who are steadily expanding it. (Qur'an, 51:47)
Regarding the characteristics of God, I understand that when a person reads the Old Testament He comes across as a harsh and unforgiving God while the new Testament paints a picture of absolute mercy and love. The problem lies in identifying which is right. Or if both are right, did He decide to change His characteristics overnight? Highly unlikely to suit God if one comprehends Him to be the Creator and Owner of all things. For God to have variations in mood, changes in His attitude to His creation over a period of time, to have authority complex, to find entertainment in flicking matches at His creation (in your words), absolutely not. Blasphemous allegation to say the least!Hence you find some people getting upset at the usage of such terminology.
The Islamic concept introduces us to a God who is Most Merciful and Most compassionate but also the Lord of Retribution. Now how do they both fit together.
The Quran then says
And every nation had a messenger; so when their messenger came, the matter was decided between them with justice and they shall not be dealt with unjustly. 010.048
What these messengers taught was about Allah and the worship Him Alone.
But as mentioned earlier, all people didnot receive these messengers warmly and many of those who did, transgressed later. So He continued to send Prophets to people until mankind reached a stage of advancement where it was only necessary to send one last Prophet to the whole of mankind with the message. He was given a Book that has been protected from corruption, insertions and deletions by Divine Will. It has been made an obligation to those who have received this message to impart it to those who have not. We are answerable on the Day of Judgement if we donot. If a person dies never having heard this message Allah, The Most Merciful, will deal with him in the Most Just way.
On the other hand, if a person receives this message and dies refusing to believe in them, then he/she will have to face the consequences of His Retribution.
One may argue, what if one has heard about it but is not convinced. The onus is on the person to find out.
To put it in a different way, as you mentioned 'the whole world is just one big absurd part of a crazy universe'. A person may chose to be content with that blind belief and not investigate further. Else one may decide to dig a bit deeper and ponder about the creation. Do creation happen by chance? Have you ever noticed a table being carved out of wood by chance? Would you believe if someone tells you that something as simple a piece of furniture got carved out, polished and glazed out of a tree 'by sheer luck'? Would you believe if someone says a computer with all its different components, the hard ware, the soft ware and the rest of it, can assimilate to become a working unit just by itself. A long shot, I would say!
But then comes the argument that some thing as complex as life, earth, universe all 'happened by chance'? The paradox is, in this world of evidence based understanding we are sometimes forced to believe in the most ridiculous of concepts.
If The God who created the whole universe including the humans, then asks him repeatedly to worship Him alone and if we humans, not big to be even represented as a tiny speck in the vast universe, decide to deny Him, is it unfair to be punished?
The Holy Quran says
And I have not created the jinn and the men except that they should worship Me. 51:56
One of the reasons, as I understand, the Non-Islamic world opts to keep religion and science apart is that the two concepts as they understand it donot fit well. One is asking to have faith and then understand while the other votes to have understanding first to be convinced. People then get disillusioned by religion and tend to label all religions under the same banner. What most people donot know is that there are other systems where science and theology are in perfect harmony with each other. It is these people who objectively explore into other systems that get convinced and 'convert to Islam claiming that they found truth in this book'.
I see that you cannot accept that the muslim view point that the word of God cannot be translated. It is not exactly the way you put it. An item of literature had different components to it. Some of them being concept, content, use of words, rhyme etc. Yes, many have attempted to translate the Holy Quran to benefit those who donot speak arabic as their first language. The problem is, one may succeed in translating the content but fail to do justice to the rest of the prose like concept, rhyme etc. This fact is appreciated by all those who have attempted to translate the Holy Quran. You may find many websites that have different english translations. The very fact that the wordings used by different translators differ and so does the quality of language therein will serve to provide you with an insight into the problem. I, myself, am not a speaker of the arabic language. But as I attempt to learn arabic and begin to understand the language better I find myself in a better position to comprehend the problems surrounding translation. Hence the reason to recommend learning the arabic language. Having said that, there are many who got convinced after studying the translations and have subsequently embarked on a journey to learn a new language at ripe ages of more than 50 yrs and have done exceedingly well. A lot is possible if one attempts!
We all appreciate that you have taken the first step to explore other systems and ways of living. Insha Allah (God Willing) you will go further. My best wishes and do remember that this site is always open to those who genuinely seek!
I leave you with a few quatations from the Holy Quran
Surely, Allah wrongs not even of the weight of a speck of dust, but if there is any good, He doubles it. 4:40
And say: "The truth is from your Lord.'' Then whosoever wills, let him believe; and whosoever wills, let him disbelieve. 18:29
There is no compulsion in religion. 2:256