Marrying older women

Aroosak

Junior Member
Is funny how I read this post just when I was observing this amongst many sisters I know. They are all professional, religious strong young women who had found their soulmates in men that were a bit younger than them. They have mashaa'Allah chosen them because of their deen and their relationships are strong and full of blessings.
 

MalikBrother

Junior Member
Assalamu - Alaikum!

This is useful thread especially for those who are looking forward to get married, as it's must for every believers of Islam to get married, if not for us (men), at least, it's for them (women), and the future generation to acquire the vision of the world and Holy Qur'aan to seek closer to Allaah (SWT), and for Allaah (SWT), as more Muslim children, are indeed more followers of Allaah (SWT).

I am not settled yet, and struggling to look after myself which one of main reason why i always avoid the proposal of marriage, but someone suggested that better marry elder women who are successful with their Professions that they make money, and unmarried due to either age, widow.....etc, and Our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is a prime example. I am thinking about approaching that way. What do you think? I wouldn't mind the opinions from you guys that some of them are married, and some of them aren't but their opinions can be helpful though.

Jazak'Allah Khayr for this thread.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
Is funny how I read this post just when I was observing this amongst many sisters I know. They are all professional, religious strong young women who had found their soulmates in men that were a bit younger than them. They have mashaa'Allah chosen them because of their deen and their relationships are strong and full of blessings.

thas very interesting to read ..maybe because younger men are turning back to stronger faith,,,that might have been lost in those before..especially among arab people
 

faaraa

Nothing but Muslimah
:wasalam:

Unusual & interesting thread...
As a girl, age gab is nothing , if you really find some one who is Islamically fit enough to lead you according to the Qur'an and Sunnah :)

But usually and vastly, and commonly guys expect that their partners should be younger than them.................
But I have seen some cases where the men are not demanding any thing regarding the "AGE" during the marital talks....
On the other hand I have also witnessed the men who refute the proposals , as soon as they get to know that the bride is elder to them !!!

In fact, if you have a quick analyze on the matrimonial sites and matrimonial pages of the news papers, most of the men (Like 99% of them) are demanding for younger girls....... regardless of , to which faith they belong...... :)

I some times wonder, when a 32 year old guy is expecting a life partner between 18-26, WHY cant a woman expect such a thing??? [I am showing this example 'coz This is the common demand in my country , NO MATTER WHAT THE FAITH IS....] ....

But as far as I know, Islam's view on this issue is very simple... :) Alhamdulillah...

But yeah.... most of the girls LIKE to be younger than their husbands :)


Hm.. so basically, Islam has provided you with the permission to get married to some on who is younger or elder than you..... BUT still, it's our choice I guess :)



 

Hearts of Greenbirds

Junior Member
salam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu my advice for you would be akhi first of all May Allah swt Reward all the brothers and sisters who is trying to get marride wal hamdulilah when all that is said

let me go back to my advice for you

Akhi dont think that much about the age
inshallah choice a person for her Deen look at her Deen the way she is when it comes to islam her knowlege
her Akhlaq her shynes her friends her family s and let her be someone who can make you smille and laught and who is open who can joke and take joke from others someone who can remind you of the hereafter and all that and inshallah if you find the answer that you were searching for a women in her then inshallah marry her right away .... remember it is the Deen thats lead you to good ,,, you may marry a women with beuty yet her Akhlaq isnt right her knowledge isnt there yet she wont be no good to you i am not sayin women with beuty is dump lol not at all what i am tryin ,, to say is dont let beuty fool yaa ,, the other hand a sister with more knowledge Akhlaq Deen shyness less beuty may lead you too all kinda of kheyr both in dunya as well in Akhirah by the end of the day brothers and sisters choice a person for his Deen Akhlaq shynes knowledge Beuty and Bi idnillah you will go far with it Fi Amanillah
 

esperanza

revert of many years
In the arab world especially many men want a woman quite a bit or at least younger than them..but people would start talking about a man who married a woman quite a bit older than him
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
:salam2:

I don't expect any marriage proposals and I don't expect to make any anytime soon. I have to work on myself first.

I do have a question that might anger some of you, but I have to ask.

OK, so marriage is supposed to be half of the deen, right? So does that mean that I am less of a person because I am still single?
 

Hearts of Greenbirds

Junior Member
Nope ,, but indeed marriage is halvf of your Deen
and the prophet sws Naseeha was Get marride while you are young and if you can ,,, one should try her or his best ,, to get it it is a big Barakah in it ,, mashallah
 

Aroosak

Junior Member
I do have a question that might anger some of you, but I have to ask.

OK, so marriage is supposed to be half of the deen, right? So does that mean that I am less of a person because I am still single?

I don't think anyone is less anything if single, and anyone correct me if I am wrong but I believe our duty is to work on ourselves and improve in our deen to get closer to Allah t'ala. This task is hard sometimes since for some of us our biggest jihad is the one with our nafs. But let's say subhanAllah we've improved for the sake of Allah then marriage just takes it to a whole new level (and this talking from a single person point of view). It is not just a battle with the nafs anymore but a struggle to make your life partner happy for the sake of Allah and inshAllah raise your children if Allah blesses us with any as righteous slaves. The time will come when inshAllah Allah deems us ready for this new phase but til then we strive with our first half.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
Nope ,, but indeed marriage is halvf of your Deen
and the prophet sws Naseeha was Get marride while you are young and if you can ,,, one should try her or his best ,, to get it it is a big Barakah in it ,, mashallah

Well that won't happen for a while. I realize now that I have to be happy with myself if I am ever to have a meaningful relationship, and I am not there right now.
 

Aroosak

Junior Member
thas very interesting to read ..maybe because younger men are turning back to stronger faith,,,that might have been lost in those before..especially among arab people


True most men I see that don't care about age are indeed strong in faith. I also think is because some (and the keyword is some) young girls have many unrealistic dreams about their "prince charming" they want a good looking guy who is cool and has money and is this and that and the other. I've been there lol but time and knowledge teaches you that what in the end will benefit you is a man strong in his deen. This realization sometimes comes after time, some self-evaluation and when you become closer to Allah.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
True most men I see that don't care about age are indeed strong in faith. I also think is because some (and the keyword is some) young girls have many unrealistic dreams about their "prince charming" they want a good looking guy who is cool and has money and is this and that and the other. I've been there lol but time and knowledge teaches you that what in the end will benefit you is a man strong in his deen. This realization sometimes comes after time, some self-evaluation and when you become closer to Allah.

:salam2:

When women are young, they want the hot guys. When men are young, they want the hot women. Then we get older, and hopefully wiser, and we realize that there is more to a person than just a pretty face.
 

Um Ibrahim

Alhamdulilah :)
Well that won't happen for a while. I realize now that I have to be happy with myself if I am ever to have a meaningful relationship, and I am not there right now.

:salam2:

You just never know what will happen in the near or far future brother. That's just your plans, you don't know the plans Allah has for you. Trust me, when the right person comes along, you will not think twice about marriage or if you are ready or not for it. You will feel happy and motivated enough to go ahead and get married. I always used to say I will get married young, around 20-22, that didn't happen, I got married four and half years later just the beginning of this year, Alhamdulilah! Plus, I think marriage improves people. You learn quickly how to be patient, forgiving etc. Marriage is a blessing, I really believe it gets you closer to Allah because you will have more responsibility, you're not only thinking of yourself but of your family as well. You help one another, and that can get you more and more reward from Allah.

May Allah bless you and all single Muslims and Muslimahs out there with a rightious and respectful wives/husbands to love them in this life and the next, amin:blackhijab:
 

yasak80

Junior Member
amin sister,
your words are full of hope and hapiness mashaallah.

:)

jazakallahu hayran kesiyra.....
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
the concept of marriage being "half your deen" is metaphorical. Ideally, marriage should bring out the best in the two people involved, thereby bringing them closer to God. Furthermore, marriage protects you from unlawful sexual intercourse and inappropriate gender relations....which I guess you can say is a huge blessing. Finally, by being married, you become unselfish - you have to take care of another person, become a parent, take care of a household, etc --- all of which are unselfish acts that attract major blessings.

That being said, marriage is a destiny written by God. Not everyone is destined to get married, regrdless of the amount of dua that you do. If God does not want you to get married, that doesn't mean that you are half a person. It just means that God has destined a more difficult life for you that does not incllude the blessings of a partner and children. Personally, that does not make me less of a muslim. It means that God has not chosen me for those blessings, but, it doesn't mean that I don't have a shot at paradise.
 

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
:salam2:

Sister Precious,

I don't think anyone is destined to stay single.

[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

Dua is vital but everyone must "tie their camel" so to speak. Sometimes one must be proactive in theses matters.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Shy Hijabi,

thank you for that advice. What makes you think i haven't been proactive?

anyway, i believe you are reading the quoted ayat from the Quran incorrectly.

The ayah does not stand for the proposition that EVERYONE will have a mate.

The ayah is stating that among God's miracles is that He has created the human race so that we have lifelong mates. There is no other creature on earth that mates for life and provides love and comfort to each other. Read the passages surroundign that ayat; it will all become clear to you.

Surely, Shy Hijabi, ,you have met women and men who never got married and who died single? To say that God does not destine people to remain single means that you are aware of what God has destined for each one of us.
 
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