PLEASE DON'T COME TO THE MOSQUE!!!

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

The solution is simple. The children are not a problem. I can not understand this. Women welcome children at the masjid. A child is never a burden to a Muslim woman. That is our joy.

We do not scold. We are shy. We wait patiently. Ask your wife to forgive our sisters in faith.

Children crawl, walk, drool..we are women and we can handle it.

Please brother tell your wife she does not have to tolerate being scolded. InshaAllah your wife will forgive these well meaning little aunties. They mean well but come across so rude.

You and your wife are good people. When are you going to drop the word revert? You are a Muslim..100%

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Brother, it really saddens me to hear about your experience. I've never had such worse experience so all I'm able to do is make du'a that may Allaah make you and your wife firm in our path, Ameen.

Ever thought of moving to Kelantan? Its my village and to share with you, I found my inner peace there. Of course, peace is not determine by certain places but the warmth of the people there makes it even more peaceful. Just like the warmth of the Omani people. And also the knowledge of His Deen is being spread rapidly there. Someday, have a visit there inshaAllaah.

 

[IbnAdam77]

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Beloved brother! I can imagine how difficult the situation is over there. Surely my Du'as will be with you inshaAllah.

I am sure this is a huge test from Allah on you both, to approve His love, and to raise your levels in Jannah inshaAllah if you pass it. Face it my brave brother, I am confident that you can, inshaAllah.

Being in a non-Muslim community must be hard. However, from my personal experience, living in a 100% so called Muslim Community (NOT ISLAMIC), is truly very hard. People claim that they are Muslims and every sin, big or small, is common. Astaghfirullah!

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[Um Ibrahim]

assalaamu alaikum

my daughter was once beaten by some lady...i finished the taraweeh to see my daughter (three and a half years) standing there and crying very sadly...some ladies are very harsh...usually,she stays with me and prays ,but when she sees a bunch of kids running behind the jama'a when she's praying,we cant force her to stand there and pray...she's a kid after all...

sometimes, alhamdulilah..i dont encounter any problems at all...

That's just something I don't understand, how in the world can someone just beat other peoples' children, subhanalaah! That's crazy. And a little child that's only 3, that's just straight up mean no matter what the child did, it's up to his/her parents to say something no one else has the right to beat a child that's not their own. I don't see a problem with children running around or playing, it's just some kids literally scream so loud lol and no one can hear anything and even then a child shouldn't be beaten, maybe just taken outside or held for a little while until he or she calms down and stops crying or yelling. Some kids are so terrified of strangers and when they are brought to the masjid and they see a big crowd of strangers, you can imagine how loud that kid will cry. My nephew used to be like that; we would have to take him out of the masjid when he starts his crying or my sister or me would comfort him until he calms down and is not afraid anymore.

 

[sachin4islam]

Assalamu Alaikum:

It really amplifies beauty of a Masjid where kids are going through their naughty affairs. My son four years old,many times accompanies me to the Masjid. If I am leaving from my home,for congregational prayer,I would rather abstain my kid being with me to the Masjid. But in case I am going to Masjid to pray Fard individually,I would never miss a chance,to carry my kid to the Masjid.

Last time,may be a month or so before,my kid and that of my younger brother,both were with me at the Masjid. As congregational prayer already finished,I safely lodged my kids at a seat and started praying Ishaa. Very next min my kids started their naughty affairs. My son just came around me and enveloped my both legs tightly. It became difficult for me to pray. Soon other devotees present at the Masjid took account of my son. They lovingly handled my son through the course of my prayer. It wasn't a problem at all. Rather members from the Masjid urge me to let my kids visit the Masjid frequently.

Br.Hard Rock Moslem your case is not a generalized event.

Regards.

 

[IbnAdam77]

assalaamu alaikum

my daughter was once beaten by some lady...i finished the taraweeh to see my daughter (three and a half years) standing there and crying very sadly...some ladies are very harsh...usually,she stays with me and prays ,but when she sees a bunch of kids running behind the jama'a when she's praying,we cant force her to stand there and pray...she's a kid after all...

sometimes, alhamdulilah..i dont encounter any problems at all...

Wa'alaikumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

La Hawlawala Quwwata Illa Billah!

I wonder if those people never had a child in their life or what??

Yes dear sister that is true. We need to learn how to live with children. Even the Prophet (pbuh) prayed carrying babies.

Abu Qatada narrated: "The Prophet (pbuh) came out towards us, while carrying Umamah, the daughter of Abi Al-As (his grand-daughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up, he lifted her up." (Bukhari)

Let me ask, WHO IS BETTER THAN PROPHET OF ALLAH??

May Allah guide us all, and make us humble in actions. Allahumma Ameen!

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Brother, it really saddens me to hear about your experience. I've never had such worse experience so all I'm able to do is make du'a that may Allaah make you and your wife firm in our path, Ameen.

Ever thought of moving to Kelantan? Its my village and to share with you, I found my inner peace there. Of course, peace is not determine by certain places but the warmth of the people there makes it even more peaceful. Just like the warmth of the Omani people. And also the knowledge of His Deen is being spread rapidly there. Someday, have a visit there inshaAllaah.

Dear sister, I always have special respect to Kelantanese, I had a lot of Muslims friends in KL but it took a Kelantanese to come all the way and dawah me and show me the way with Allah's guidance. I've once been to Jelawat, not sure when is my second trip. My "abang angkat" is staying there.

Thank you for your du'a.

 

[lovefordeen]

assalaamu alaikum

my daughter was once beaten by some lady...i finished the taraweeh to see my daughter (three and a half years) standing there and crying very sadly...some ladies are very harsh...usually,she stays with me and prays ,but when she sees a bunch of kids running behind the jama'a when she's praying,we cant force her to stand there and pray...she's a kid after all...

sometimes, alhamdulilah..i dont encounter any problems at all...

assalaamu alikum brothers and sisters
yes it is really sad to see some people beat kids that are not theirs...n this happened in the ladies section with 'kids allowed'...the masjid has to sections for ladies;one for ladies 'with kids' and another 'without kids'.....when my child attends salat with me ;and when there are not many children,she prays with me :mashallah:;but when there are around 10 kids racing and playing behind the jama'ah ...i cannot ask her to be silent...i didnt know what hapenned as to why the lady bet her as i didnt witness it...all the children were playing behind the saff.......but i did see that in between the taraweeh,one elder lady would shoo all the children and ask them to be quiet...when i finished my salah....i saw my daughter standing alone and crying miserably...and she was very much hurt that someone had hit her....i asked her who did this;and she pointed to each lady..as she couldnt identify them!!!all the ladies were in abaaya...what made me sad was that this was a 'ladies section with kids allowed'..and it was ramadhan...and my daughter isn't very naughty..she may have run around...Allah knows best

my husband says that in the masjid he goes to,the children do all sorts of things and the people are very patient :mashallah:....there are some people who beat others kids,but only Allah knows her intention...maye she chose among the running kids

randomly to hit them...maybe not..Allah knows best!!!


i really feel for the brother as he cannot take his kids to the masjid...nabi
:saw2: used to tolerate kids while he was performing salat and giving khutbah...

and Allah knows best!!!!

May Allah forgive me if i have said something wrong.

assalaamu alaikum

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

However, I make it clear. One or two brother or sister misbehave on kids does not construed the actual behaviour of the rest. My wife told me, when one sister was scolding my wife, another sister carried my son and kissed him and told him nicely next time not run infront of the aunties.. I guess she is trying to educate this sister about diplomacy in handling this kind of matter.

On another point, one ustaz did mentioned that do not think the kids while they are running here and there in the masjid they are not listening to the lecture, even if they hear the word Allah and Rasulullah repeatedly mentioned it may also change them a lot from inside. Once my daughter who was busy playing outside masjid area came to me and asking why the "ustaz" mentioned about "ghost".. that show while she were playing with her friends her ears are still listening.

Brothers and sisters, I came from a kuffar background. I want my kids to feel and enjoy the most beautiful things that I missed during my childhood.. that is to be the guest of Allah in His house of worship. May Allah open the heart of our masjid committee to be more diplomatic and rational in handling the kids at masjid.

 

[strive-may-i]

Children in Mosque, and some good/bad obserivations


:salam2:
Quite moving. The troubles parent take and the dreams parents have for their kids! Your story brother is a good remainder. Thank you!

Children in mosque is good. But whats better is, the elders in mosque taking care of the kids, and involving them in prayers. Mix the kids among elders, identify most naughty ones and make them stand among the ablest of elders. Some kids tend to be highly restless and get distracted and can be more troublesome, but its very important for elders to be just and kind yet still.

Usually in some mosque, some of the elders volunteer to keep an eye on the naughty kids, so that they do not run around in front lane of mosques and disturb others, Thats one nice practice I have seen.


And am also going to share a not so good practice, as per me.

In some regions, the elders take the front lanes, and all kids (not reached maturity) are made to stand in the back lanes at last, that is the practice. So in effect if a father / son where to enter mosque, then the kid would be in back lane of mosque. The kids in back lanes. Now the kids in back lanes all being naughty, start playing with each other, the few serious obedient kinds, try hard to not get distracted. now inshort the kids are left to themself, they grow up and gets use to seeing mosque either as a place for playing, or a place for worship!!!
But some fathers do not like kids in backlane. They dont like it either because they dont want their kid to play in mosque or because, they like the kid to be beside them. So they try to break this practice, preferring their kid to be beside them in the congregation. The other elders, the intolerant ones, they raise objection. Some determined fathers just dont budge, they stand together, finish prayer together and go home together. The kid if its observant, learns a good lesson. On other hand, if Kids longs to be in back lane instead, one or the other day, kid will go behind to back lanes.​

 

[strive-may-i]

hope you know.. Some elders do not tolerate others kids!



There is one more subtle point I want to bring to your notice, It will shock some, some already know it...

A child is a bundle of joy, any day. But its not an ideal world. Not all have the same love for kids. Some have a practice of showing intolerance to another's kids. Yes. Some elders do not like kids. Yes there are some people like that. It really stuns a humane mind, but they exist everywhere on earth. It might be a prejudice the elder nurtured from his/her childhood... that shows up as they grow older? Or it might be just a hardened mind..!

 

[msmoorad]

salaams to all

heres some good advice from the ulama regarding this issue:

1. The mosque is a place of worship. The general manners for those attending are serenity, dignity, calm, and respect for others� worship by not annoying them by sounds or actions.
2. It is very important to raise our children with a strong attachment and love for their religion, and community, and thus it is important for them to have a strong and positive attachment to the mosque from a young age, especially in non-Muslim environments.

3. However, it is anything that causes general distraction is disliked in the mosque. Thus, it would be disliked to have the children in the prayer hall at the time of prayer if they will cause a distraction. It would be haram to bring them if they are not toilet trained if there is reason to fear that they may soil the mosque.

4. If the children have been trained properly by their parents, such that they will not be a nuisance or distraction for other worshippers, and it is not feared that they will soil the mosque, then it would not be disliked to bring them.

5. If the children are young, it is best that they pray next to their parents, as this is likely to ensure that they behave.

6. If there is a small number of children, it is best that they pray between the adults (and not in a separate line).

7. If it is feared that a line of children may lead them to spur each other to rowdy behavior, as often occurs, then it would be best that they pray between the adults.

Thus, we find in authentic hadiths that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to pray while carrying children, including Umama the daughter of Zaynab (Allah be pleased with her) [Bukhari and Muslim], Hasan and Hussain, and others. At the same time, he commanded that children be kept away from the mosque [Ibn Maja]. The latter is understood to mean when it is feared that they will soil the mosque, or it is feared that they will cause a nuisance, or if they are generally unattended.

Finally, if a child misbehaves in the mosque it is important to remember that children are innocent and sinless. Thus, we cannot reprimand them harshly: this may make them dislike mosques, the religions and maybe even their religion. Rather, we should treat them with gentleness and mercy, though being firm where needed. The parents, however, should be reminded of their duty to take care of their children while at the mosque.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, �Those who do not have mercy for our young and respect for our elders is not of us.� [Tirmidhi]

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

I read that in one of the website, I guess Islamqa. Thank you for sharing.

 

[msmoorad]

I read that in one of the website, I guess Islamqa. Thank you for sharing.

salaams to all

yes, its a copy n paste job
actually, it was longer than that but i just posted what i thought was most important.

let me give my two bits worth:

if children are allowed to play, run, scream etc freely in the musjid from a young age- it will be difficult to suddenly expect them to behave as they ought to when they are old enough that salaah has now become fardh/compulsory on them.

you have to instill these values in them from a young age
most parents keep saying "he/shes still small"
thats the age at which u have to start.

and, if they cant be easily controlled due to their age- its better for them to stay aty home with their mother- she has to teach them the basics.
theres a saying that the lap of the mother is the first madrassah of the child.

i am from South Africa & i have been to India,Pakistan & the USA.

the attitude of the parents/elders towards children in the musjid in the Indo-Pak subcontinet ensures that they behave when they are in the musjid- they are made to understand from a very young age that theres no playing, laughing. running etc in the musjid- even no talking loudly
they have to whisper.

they also have much more respect for the ustaads than children in the west.

then theres the issue of disturbing others
i also get very angry when people bring their children & grandchildren to the musjid despite them being too small to understand the sanctity of the musjid.

then theres those adults who dont care to ensure their kids are well behaved in the musjid but expect others to "understand" & "tolerate" etc

we know the kids are kids but we are the adults and we have to ensure that the sanctity of Allahs house is observed at all times

we are committing a very great sin by disturbing others and by not obeserving the sanctity of the musjid.
also- we are guilty of not teaching our children the proper etiquette/adaab of the musjid.

what the other parents do is their business- you can only advise them but when it comes to to your family - then u are responsible.


and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah

 

[DanyalSAC]

While I in no way support anybody disciplining anybody else's child, I simply cannot abide children who run screaming in the masjid. For any reason.

Do you think for a New York minute that mommy and daddy allow that at home?

Tonight during our brothers' halaqa we had about 8 kids varying in age from about 4 to around 10 screaming in the multi-purpose room where we were trying to meet. We had 18 brothers sitting in a lose circle while these precious little gems were screaming and running THROUGH our circle while we were meeting.

Then when we had isha this same group of kids ran through the lines, kicking what sounded to be a beach ball (I was in the front line, it didn't come that far). They were so loud and distracting that they drowned out the imam.

I've had my cell phone stolen from my masjid & had my glasses picked up and carried off by a toddler who got spit all over them.

Its common knowledge that our masjid often has involuntary baby sitting, when mommy and daddy drop their kids off and run, leaving them there for the older kids or other adults to watch them.

I'm sorry - I know most parents think its cute and adorable for their kids to behave that way in public but I think its deplorable and nothing will convince me otherwise.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,


It is one of those shocking things. In the Western world they do not tolerate children. In Churches, children are either kept from service or leave before the sermon. They provide for babysitters in synagogues.

The way of Islam is tolerant. We tolerate children. Have you ever been to a masjid without children. That is sad.

I would take a screaming truckload of children who are happy at the masjid. And with time these are the same children who serve everyone at the masjid. They clean up; they watch the kids, the clean the parking lot i.e. snow/ice.

Now these children can refuse to come to the masjid when they get older. The masjid provides an opportunity for our children to be free from the demands of the duyna..and we are tripping on this.

When I go to the masjid I feel physically better..do you not think the reason the children get so energetic is because they feel good.

If you feel the kids are wild then man/woman up and tell them.

Last week there was a toddler. He ran into the masala while sisters were praying, ahead of the kutba. He would not take his shoes off. I picked him up and took them off for him. His mother smiled. He and I played with a car for a couple of minutes.

 

[msmoorad]

Assalaam walaikum,
It is one of those shocking things. In the Western world they do not tolerate children. In Churches, children are either kept from service or leave before the sermon. They provide for babysitters in synagogues.

The way of Islam is tolerant. We tolerate children. Have you ever been to a masjid without children. That is sad.

I would take a screaming truckload of children who are happy at the masjid. And with time these are the same children who serve everyone at the masjid. They clean up; they watch the kids, the clean the parking lot i.e. snow/ice.

Now these children can refuse to come to the masjid when they get older. The masjid provides an opportunity for our children to be free from the demands of the duyna..and we are tripping on this.

When I go to the masjid I feel physically better..do you not think the reason the children get so energetic is because they feel good.

If you feel the kids are wild then man/woman up and tell them.

Last week there was a toddler. He ran into the masala while sisters were praying, ahead of the kutba. He would not take his shoes off. I picked him up and took them off for him. His mother smiled. He and I played with a car for a couple of minutes.

salaams to all

from all the members here-youre the last one id expect to have this kind of mindset.

its one thing to be tolerant, loving & understanding but wha tabout the sanctity of the musjid and disturbing others?

i prefer a musjid without children or with well behaved children any day.

sometimes its like the parents see nothing wrong with whatever their children do.
Wallahi, i feel like smacking them & their kids.

its different if parents bring the kids every now n then & they ensure they kids are well behaved but they sometimes get out of line.

here they can see clearly what they are doing and still seem to see nothing wrong with it.

too much freedom & no respect-that what living in the west is giving our muslim children
and it seems its depriving the adults of common sense.

just because these same children help around the musjid does not justify their disrespecting the sanctity of the musjid & disturbing others.

those that are too small/young to understand should not come to the musjid until they are old enough to behave themselves
in the meantime-their mothers esp should be teaching them the correct adaab and traching them how to perform salaah.

im going to try to attach 2 pics that illustrate perfectly what im talking about:



and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I am very tolerant. I was a teacher for a billion years.

We set examples. I discipline kids. But I do it in a loving manner.

You have to teach kids how to be polite.

 

[ShyHijabi]

:salam2:

I'll be honest, I was shocked the first time I went to a mosque and saw how the children were (not)behaving during the hukbah. I was raised that when you entered a place of worship you were to be quiet and polite. And I knew this by the age of 4. I've seen kids as old as 9-10 playing tag, rough housing, and even eating chips and leaving trash on the floor. Why are the parents not monitoring their children? This is not a playground.

There is a big difference between being patient with someone's baby/toddler and being irritated over children misbehaving that are old enough to know better. There is a time and place for everything and people would do well to raise their children respectfully instead of expecting the world to bend to their desires.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I have been raised in the masjids.

What I have noticed is when the mother is not used to going to the masjid she ignores the children. The fathers ignore the child.

Now..that leaves it to the rest of us to educate the child.

But none of you is reading what I have written. First of all a masjid in not a church or a synagogue. A masjid is far more tolerant.

Why are we asking children to imitate the kufr? We are to take our children as many times a day as we can...sabr...

As to the photographs: that is a healthy 100% male..no doubts about his sexuality. When a child is quiet that is when you want to make sure he is ok.