PLEASE DON'T COME TO THE MOSQUE!!!

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Assalamu'alaikum.

Please allow me to share my problems with you.

I like to take my whole family to the mosque to listen to some religious talks. Regardless the distant, I will take them to any mosque if I know there is religious talk especially when one of my favourite local sheikh delivering the lecture.

In the last ramadan during the Tarawih, one ustaz screamed and threaten to beat those kids running in the mosque. He was screaming with the mike and speakers on. So just imagine how audible it was. The parents was stunned, all were speechless in disbelieve. It should not come from an ustaz.

My wife encounter not less than 3 incidents, but with some sisters. It happened in another mosque. One sister even boldly told my wife not to come to the mosque anymore until my son grown up. My wife suspect she is one of the mosque committee. I've complained the matter to one of the mosque imam and also clarified not less than 3 sheikh about sisters coming to mosques and taking kids to the mosques. All are in favour sisters and kids going to the mosque. Then another ustaz had made a general comments and advised the sisters present not stop other sisters from coming to the mosque. He also told the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) love kids coming to the mosque. Yet, there are still sisters and few ustaz are not happy kids coming to the mosque. In another case, one sister confronted and scolded my son for running in the mosque, my wife was very angry that she beat my son in front of her. I told my wife that what she did was wrong. There were few other incidents especially when we are on long distance journey, we have to stop at mosque to pray. So the kids have to follow and again my youngest hyper active son he likes to run in the mosque. My son really like the mosque environment, often he will cry and beg me if I don't take him to the mosque.

Not sure why, I'm not generalizing, I'm sad that some sisters happened to be not happy with kids at mosques. By right as mothers they should understand more my wife's problem and the kids. Maybe it is isolated case which not happening elsewhere. I hope so. I'm now in dilemma, my wife since having phobia. She reluctant to follow me to the mosque. I don't take her to mosque to pray but also for her to listen to the bayan. Now if we are travelling, we will take turn to pray, so the kids will remain in the car.

Dear brothers and sisters, I'm sorry if I said anything wrong. I'm very sad with all this happening in our community. I hope you can give me some consolation. I begin to distant my self from all these mosque or I will only go alone.

 

[Jennie]

I do not know what to say. I am a new Muslim, and not very knowledgeable in mosque yet.

But I wanted to tell you I will be praying for you and your wife and son. I am sorry this has hurt you and your wife so much.

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Brother I am sorry that you have encountered such situations. And I can see that this issue rises even more during Ramaadhan; during Taraweekh prayer.

While it is wrong for them to totally banned the children from coming to the mosque, I suggest that they have a specific place for the children to run around or be put to play for a while while their parents are praying. This is because we know that sometimes the aunties and the uncles can't stand children running around in front of them esp at times when they need to make sujood. In a way, it actually takes away the khushoo' but we are not to beat/get angry at the kids. Kids are kids.

So the situation here can be solved if
a) the management of the mosque can make a specific place for the children or
b) depends on the parents to look after their own children so long that they don't disturb the other jamaah.

I remember during Taraweekh, I went along to the mosque but was looking after the baby being left by his mother who went to join the congregation.

So its really a two-way situation. But yeah, putting off someone from coming to the house of Allaah is really. . . unacceptable. May Allaah open the hearts of those and make them gentler when handling with people.

Regarding the Imaam reading fabricated ahadeeth. Well brother, I am sure we both understand that people holding strongly to only saheeh ahadeeth are not that many at our places. Even if there are, hard to find. So far, I enjoy and had received an exceptional amount of ilm' from Kuliyyah of Ustaaz Zahazan. So I'd say don't be despair about it and its actually our responsibility to spread the words and the importance to really know the source of the ilm one is giving out and to ensure the level of ahadeeth. Its been my struggle all this while. So please don't distant yourself and join us in our "Perjuangan menegakkan yang haaq dan menumpaskan yang bathil", InshaAllaah.

I pray that May Allaah aids us in our every shortcomings, Ameen.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Women come with territory. You have women in the masjid and we have kids running around. And that is a good thing. They scream, they roll around, they cry and smile and laugh and clap their hands, they imitate the sisters praying.

Did the Prophet ( may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) not shorten prayers, allow children to hug his back, and just love children. They are the future of Islam.

I usually grab the walking toddler as salat starts and we pray together. Before you know it there is a little Muslim army praying and giggling.

The masjid is inclusive. Everyone is welcome. End of subject.

 

[nyerekareem]

About two or three years ago, I remember hearing from a sheikh that attendance to a mosque wasn't mandatory upon Muslim women, but it was mandatory for a man that was without a valid excuse. He mentioned that part of it was to avoid the situations that were mentioned at the start of the thread. I have heard several others say the same thing, but they also said that if the woman wants to attend the masjid, she's to be allowed in. I wish I could post the video on the subject but I forgot who it was, forgive me. If there is someone here on TTI who is familiar with the stance on whether masjid attendance is fard on women, please do post. If there's evidence that they don't have to come, perhaps the sisters will not worry about not attending and won't have it on their consciences.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

So far, I enjoy and had received an exceptional amount of ilm' from Kuliyyah of Ustaaz Zahazan.

Firstly thanking for you encouragement and du'a.

Ustaz Zahazan is the one reminded the sisters as well as the rest not to prevent any sisters and kids from coming to the masjid. I think the imam told this respected ulama about my case. Knowing him very well, he is the master of tafseer and hadith, he supported what he said with authentic hadith, not one but few. I think there is a wisdom from this incident, it was first time I meeting him face to face and learned some hadiths from him directly. Alhamdulillah.

Your idea is good, a specific corner for kids in the masjid. I did suggested for a playland like we see in McD, I'm hoping my good friend who is also the masjid chairman on of the masjid, will lead the other masjid by creating a playland for the kids, inshAllah. I will continue to pursue this inshAllah.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

I do not know what to say. I am a new Muslim, and not very knowledgeable in mosque yet.

But I wanted to tell you I will be praying for you and your wife and son. I am sorry this has hurt you and your wife so much.

Thank you for the du'a.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Assalaam walaikum,

Women come with territory. You have women in the masjid and we have kids running around. And that is a good thing. They scream, they roll around, they cry and smile and laugh and clap their hands, they imitate the sisters praying.

Did the Prophet ( may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) not shorten prayers, allow children to hug his back, and just love children. They are the future of Islam.

I usually grab the walking toddler as salat starts and we pray together. Before you know it there is a little Muslim army praying and giggling.

The masjid is inclusive. Everyone is welcome. End of subject.

That was very cute sister... the way you treated the little khalifah of ours.

 

[IbnAdam77]

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh my beloved brother

I am so sorry to hear your situation. However, take this as a test from Allah to you and family.

As for the children to go to mosque and make an "army" and run, shout, having wrestling among them etc etc (which I have seen a LOT of times), it is our duty to make them aware about the Jamaa'ah (Congregation). However, it is not by screaming, beating, scolding etc etc. But it should be done with love, caring, calmness etc etc.

I remember when my young brother was just 4 years, he used to pray alone also, very well mashaAllah. Whenever I go to mosque, he will cry if I do not take him. He loves to pray with me, a lot. Believe me, he never run, shout etc when praying. I took him to mosque since he was 3 years. People used to show displeased face towards me, because I bring my little brother there. Yet, I did not care, because he was not disturbing the congregation.

If you allow me, let me tell something funny he did one day. Actually he has learnt Azan, Surah-al Fathi'ha, Surah al-Ikhlaas, al-Mu'awwidhatayn and some other few, at that time. He would be 3 or 4 if my memory is fine. He knows exactly how to recite the way our Imam recites. And....one night when I took him to Maghrib and when the Imam started to recite, my boy started reciting out very loud with the Imam. He finished Surah with him. When we finished the Salah, on the way back to home, I told him secretly not to do like that. You guess what he said, "NO! I will." It took me the whole way back to home to convince him just before entering home. Alhamdhulillah he did not repeat that after.

Brother often talk to your son about Jamaa'ah. Make him aware and keep repeating the same if same happens from him. DO NOT shout or beat him. InshaAllah repetition of advice and love will work.

I strongly condemn screaming or shouting at children, whether its by an Imam, a brother or a sister, parents, etc.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Thank you for sharing your experience brother IbnAdam77. That's was funny, kids are kids they make us cry and they make us laugh in joy. I don't know why some people do not like kids. Before taking my 3-year-old son to masjid, I will buy his promises, before I would finish asking, he will answer "I will not run, I will not shout, I will not disturb aunties praying, I will not go to the imam area". See how cute he is, so long he can follow me.

 

[ayesha.ansari]

Here is an advice

Well its all your fault dear. i think you and your wife should train them and tell how to react and behave in mosque this is not a place to run and play or do any thing bad . children are not fool teach them and see how they will behave their. i most of the time saw parents weeping and complaining others that their children misbehave and don't listen to them how? this can be done. i have seen many families including my one too when we are kids we never do any thing that can ashamed our parents. don't you feel shame when your children run or play in mosque. well teach them better teaching rather then complaining people to beat your children. who are teasing and irritating people at mosque. :tti_sister::astag:

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Once one aunty, she and her husband are the mosque committee member, their own grand daughter walked all the way to the imam during the prayers. No brothers made any fuss about it after the prayers, the girl was still there and tried to grab the microphone. This aunty and her husband was panic, I was just laughing, she was one of those who yell at other parents for bringing kids to the mosque. When it is her turn, she did not mince a word about it. Can I yell at her why you bring your grand daughter? I will not do that, there will be no different between me and her then. Her children are grown up, she did not realised soon she will have grand children and it just happen as I thought.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

:salam2: brother,

I understand you love to take your family to the masjid, and that some kids are just hyper and love to play around however, you have to try to understand why people become frustrated with kids being loud in masjids especially during the Jum'ah khutbah when people are trying to listen to the imam and benefit from the lecture.But that doesn't mean someone should beat kids, especially other peoples' kids, that is asking for trouble.

To be honest though some kids have absolutely no proper manners and the parents just watch and do nothing to make their kids quiet or behave well, that is not acceptable. Yes some children are way too difficult to handle so for parents who have that kind of child, its better for them to stay away from the masjid because you don't want your child to be hated and you don't want to create so many problems in the masjid. I've seen some parents even get into fights because their children are such trouble makers and they think their children are always innocent.

I personally get irritated when I see a child just yell and scream and cry so loud to the point no one in the masjid can a hear a thing the imam is saying, so in that case how can anyone benefit from anything being said? Some people just get up and leave when kids become so loud and no one hears anything. So instead of people having to leave the masjid because of one child being so loud, it's better to have the one child and his parent/s leave or at least go outside until the kid calms down and is quiet, then come back to the masjid.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

The Sunna teaches us to be patient. Children are Muslim, too.

Children play in the masjid.

When my sons were small we would go to the masjid and after salat, while I am talking and laughing with my sisters and we are munching away the young boys would run amok around the masjid. In the warm weather it was off to the wood, up and down the hills. In the cold times it was throughout the interior of the masjid compound. I would sit and talk and smile and eat. They were happy.

I came out one day to go home. I could not find my car; I remembered where I had parked it. I was told by a little group of young teens that my older son drove around the parking lot with my younger son on the roof to the delight of the young boys.( something tells me many got a ride that afternoon) They were happy.

Sometimes when we had functions at the masjid I would see little wrapped parcels plopped everywhere. In various stages of sleep-wake. And the aunties checking on them as they are placed in the care of the teenage sisters. They were happy.

And when the adan was called...everyone, I can't figure out why we have to run to the masala , runs to pray. All of the creatures of the Creator. And they were happy.

( Contrast this to young men running the streets; young girls dressing as sex-slaves walking in malls, the child neglect-abuse we see,alcoholic parents locking children in the closet so they go and drink with friends..I can go on but you get picture!)

Children are amongst the wealth of man.

The masjid is Allah's.

 

[lovefordeen]

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh my beloved brother

I am so sorry to hear your situation. However, take this as a test from Allah to you and family.

As for the children to go to mosque and make an "army" and run, shout, having wrestling among them etc etc (which I have seen a LOT of times), it is our duty to make them aware about the Jamaa'ah (Congregation). However, it is not by screaming, beating, scolding etc etc. But it should be done with love, caring, calmness etc etc.

I remember when my young brother was just 4 years, he used to pray alone also, very well mashaAllah. Whenever I go to mosque, he will cry if I do not take him. He loves to pray with me, a lot. Believe me, he never run, shout etc when praying. I took him to mosque since he was 3 years. People used to show displeased face towards me, because I bring my little brother there. Yet, I did not care, because he was not disturbing the congregation.

If you allow me, let me tell something funny he did one day. Actually he has learnt Azan, Surah-al Fathi'ha, Surah al-Ikhlaas, al-Mu'awwidhatayn and some other few, at that time. He would be 3 or 4 if my memory is fine. He knows exactly how to recite the way our Imam recites. And....one night when I took him to Maghrib and when the Imam started to recite, my boy started reciting out very loud with the Imam. He finished Surah with him. When we finished the Salah, on the way back to home, I told him secretly not to do like that. You guess what he said, "NO! I will." It took me the whole way back to home to convince him just before entering home. Alhamdhulillah he did not repeat that after.

Brother often talk to your son about Jamaa'ah. Make him aware and keep repeating the same if same happens from him. DO NOT shout or beat him. InshaAllah repetition of advice and love will work.

I strongly condemn screaming or shouting at children, whether its by an Imam, a brother or a sister, parents, etc.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

assalaamu alaikum

my daughter was once beaten by some lady...i finished the taraweeh to see my daughter (three and a half years) standing there and crying very sadly...some ladies are very harsh...usually,she stays with me and prays ,but when she sees a bunch of kids running behind the jama'a when she's praying,we cant force her to stand there and pray...she's a kid after all...

sometimes, alhamdulilah..i dont encounter any problems at all...

 

[saifkhan]

as-salam 'alaikum

the most funny thing in our south east asia and also it is happening, as far as i've heard, in west also, mosque committee , funny and astaghfirAllah, and I\ve seen old men to fight for the post in mosque committee. and they take the mic anytime they need from the Imam 'with due respect'....

where is our nation, may Allah guide us.

once i heard form nouman ali khan lecture, if i find, i'll share insha Allah

wassalam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I think common sense is scared to enter sometimes because everyone wants to sit on a committee and nobody wants to take out the trash.

 

[Just a Guy]

:salam2:

Wait, if the kids are not allowed to come to masjid, how are they going to learn about their faith?

Jesus (pbuh) said "Let the little children come to me" and the Prophet (saws) loved children as has been said. I can't see either one of them banning kids from coming to the masjid.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Dear brothers and sisters, don't take me wrong. I value and appreciate all views here. Thank you all for responding to my thread.

My wife and I, we do educate the kids, perhaps I have to be more details in future so I close the gap for remarks. Now my daughter (5) and eldest son (7) no longer misbehave in the masjid because they have achieve the age of understanding. I don't think they behave now if we are not educating. My youngest son may need more time before he would understand things. Once in a while I do take risk by taking him to the masjid, me and all 3 kids, my wife will not follow anymore unless certain masjid where the committees are very friendly. I choose the time like zuhr because there will be no sisters in the masjid normally. To appeal to me, my son will say in broken language, "I will not run, I will not scream, I will not disturb aunties".. .etc etc.. only then I will take him. That's show he begin to realise he can't do certain things, but other kids may be influential factor at the moment.

Now, I've 3 kids I want more but my wife does not want because she says she is lag far behind in term of religious knowledge compared to me. I asked what got to do with having more kids? When our first son, he was only about 7 months old at that time, still a crawling baby. We were in a journey and it was mahgrib time. We stopped at a masjid to pray, my son was sleeping, so to save our travelling time, my wife decided to pray together while our son was sleeping. Unfortunately he got up and crawl (was not crying) to find his mother. He passed in front of sisters while they were in prayer, one of the sister got angry. After the prayer she scolded my wife for bringing toddler into the masjid. I don't understand, it does not need to be a rocket scientist to ask "why" before scolding or passing remarks, am I right? At that time, it was our second year of reversion to Islam, both me and wife reverted together. Can you imagine at that time our iman and knowledge about the deen was very very low. We felt very ashamed and disbelieved. In my previous religion of 29 years, I never encountered such embarrassment being scolded in the house of worship. I think if not because Allah guiding us we may... astafirullah.. regreted for reverting. Alhamdulillah, we were still in sound mind, we blame the person not Islam.. Islam never teach to be rude to fellow brothers and sisters.

Now what is about not having more kids? Since our first child until the 3rd one, she has been going through a lot of embarrassment in the masjid. As reverts, you would know how much we want to know and learn the deen because we are starting from zero. But the kids seem to be stumbling block for my wife to have free classes at masjid. Some sisters keep calling her to join classes in masjid on every Sunday, my wife has been avoiding because if she goes, she has to take the kids because I've my own Sunday class in one university. The only day I'm at home is Saturday, but I do have Arabic class in the morning which I've to sacrifice. Due to this she does not want more kids. Now as I get older, I don't think I want more babies once I'm above 40. So looks likely no more baby because I will be 40 in 3 years time. I'm very sad.

You may ask, where is our parents or relative? I don't have parents and all my relative deserted me since I reverted and all of them are in another state. My wife do have parents, they are staying some 400km away from us in another state. They only visit us during Eid.

Allah is merciful, he showed me the way. I've since registered my wife to a local Islamic university for part time Qur'an classes. She drive and travel alone for about 120km (60km one way) to attend this class. So every Saturday I've to cancel all my activities to take care the kids. Can you imagine, the masjid is just less than half km, but she has to travel 120km for the same reason?

I'm sorry for making you reading my thread, I've been keeping this in me for 8 years since I reverted. May Allah forgive me for being so weak to encounter this simple matter.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

assalaamu alaikum

my daughter was once beaten by some lady...i finished the taraweeh to see my daughter (three and a half years) standing there and crying very sadly...some ladies are very harsh...usually,she stays with me and prays ,but when she sees a bunch of kids running behind the jama'a when she's praying,we cant force her to stand there and pray...she's a kid after all...

sometimes, alhamdulilah..i dont encounter any problems at all...

I'm sorry to hear that. I really condemn people beating other people children. I really have no idea who give them the right to beat?