The role of the wife in Islaam

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
The role of the wife in Islaam


The blessed Prophet (saw) said, “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of provision in this world is the pious woman.”

In Islaam, the wife plays a pivotal role in married life and her role necessitates that she possess certain qualities, thus making her a good wife. Her thoughts, speech, actions and inclinations are all for the sake of gaining the pleasure of Allaah (swt), The Lord of the Universe. When a wife seeks to please her husband, ultimately it is the pleasure of Allaah (swt) that she wishes to seek. The qualities that a wife should possess, which are liked by her Creator have been outlined in Soorah al-Ahzaab. The Muslim woman is a true woman, humble, patient, constant, guards her modesty in her husband's absence, maintains integrity in times of adversity and prosperity and engages much in the praise of Allaah (swt).

When a Muslim wife marries she must understand that she has certain roles and responsibilities in Islaam, which are unique by her Creator. Allaah (swt) has made women different to men as mentioned in the Noble Qur’aan, “And wish not for the things which Allaah (swt) has made some of you excel others and for men there is reward for what they have earned and likewise for women there is reward for what they have earned, ask Allaah of His bounty, surely, Allaah is ever All-Knower of everything.” (EMQ-4:32).

We can see from this aayah that Allaah (swt) has made clear distinction between a man and a woman’s role and it is not lawful for a man or woman to question the defined roles as Allaah (swt) says, “It is not lawful for a man or woman when Allaah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should have a say over it.” (EMQ 33: 36)

Hence the Muslim wife being the true servant of Allaah (swt) will serve her husband according to the principles of the Sharee’ah (Islamic law), and in return the husband has certain duties he must fulfil towards his wife.

Among other rights, the wife has the right to Nafaqah, which is food, clothing and shelter, from her husband. He is obliged to spend from his wealth for it even if she possesses her own wealth. The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said, “Your wives have a right on you that you provide them with food, clothing and shelter in a fitting manner.” (Muslim)

It is important to note that when the wife carries out her duties towards her husband, she does it as an act of submission to her Creator; hence her reward is from her Creator. The Prophet (saw) loved his wives for their piety. 'Aa-ishah (ra) once narrated the fine qualities of Zaynab (ra), the seventh wife of the Prophet (saw): “Zaynab was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allaah’s Messenger and I have never seen a woman more advanced in piety than Zaynab, more god-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allaah.”

Such great Muslim women are examples for us, worthy of emulation, from which a Muslim woman can learn purity, strength of character, soundness of belief and wisdom. For emulation of the Mothers of Paradise can only lead us to the bounty of paradise (inshaa-Allaah).

Abu Nu’aym narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter paradise by any of the gates she wishes.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Muwatta' and Musnad of Imaam Ahmad).
 

Hard Rock Moslem

I'm your brother
This is what my sheikh told me also:

"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women."

"If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."


Interesting, read more here:

http://www.islamhelpline.com/node/3874
 

esperanza

revert of many years
This is what my sheikh told me also:

"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women."

"If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."


Interesting, read more here:

http://www.islamhelpline.com/node/3874

but most men in muslim world or many think this itotally the womens role
 

Ahsen

Junior Member
This is what my sheikh told me also:

"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women."

"If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."


Interesting, read more here:

http://www.islamhelpline.com/node/3874

So if a man comes home from work tired,he has to cook for himself,clean his clothes then clean the house?


And what will the woman do all day?Watch tv,go out shopping?What if the man can't afford a servant?
 

esperanza

revert of many years
So if a man comes home from work tired,he has to cook for himself,clean his clothes then clean the house?


And what will the woman do all day?Watch tv,go out shopping?What if the man can't afford a servant?

salam brother..im not saying the man should come tired from work and have to do such jobs,,no way,,,and sure she should not sepnd all day watching tv and chatting

but some men believe women should do everything ..even if the woman has young children ,,or if she works too

if both work..why shouldnt the man help

no a servant is not the answer..

but should be some kind of sharing of responsibility by men
 

alf2

Islam is a way of life
So if a man comes home from work tired,he has to cook for himself,clean his clothes then clean the house?


And what will the woman do all day?Watch tv,go out shopping?What if the man can't afford a servant?

Women work too...
 

Perseveranze

Junior Member
So if a man comes home from work tired,he has to cook for himself,clean his clothes then clean the house?


And what will the woman do all day?Watch tv,go out shopping?What if the man can't afford a servant?

The Prophet(pbuh) did these things himself.

I think wifes' responsibility is to take care of the house and it's belongings. And when she has a child, her responsibility would increase in taking care of the child.

The cooking/cleaning etc. Is more cultural than Islamic.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

The role of the wife in Islaam is to understand that she has been blessed by Allah with a Believer as a husband.

( try being alone..and you will hold on to that man and be happy)
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
This is what my sheikh told me also:

"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women."

"If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."


Interesting, read more here:

http://www.islamhelpline.com/node/3874

The girls who start playing that game learn real quickly how unhappy marriage can be. Men do say if they are providing everything for her and she can't even take care of the house then what does he need her for. Marriage is about compromise, and sharing of duties. There is no my duty vs your duty, that is a loosing game where no one will win, especially your marriage.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
The girls who start playing that game learn real quickly how unhappy marriage can be. Men do say if they are providing everything for her and she can't even take care of the house then what does he need her for. Marriage is about compromise, and sharing of duties. There is no my duty vs your duty, that is a loosing game where no one will win, especially your marriage.

marriage is about compromise and sharing responsiboilites but in many muslim ultures the reality is much different
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
marriage is about compromise and sharing responsiboilites but in many muslim ultures the reality is much different

Yes, the reality is different. But that doesn't mean its absolute. Even in such cultures exit men who will share responsibilities and help out around the house. A good communication and sweet talk by the wife can go a long way.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
Yes, the reality is different. But that doesn't mean its absolute. Even in such cultures exit men who will share responsibilities and help out around the house. A good communication and sweet talk by the wife can go a long way.

maybe maybe not..as in some ultures the tradition is so strong..women still belong at home house and children are their job
 

um muhammad al-mahdi

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
Staff member
:salam2:

we should follow the Sunnah and the example of the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam). Women used to cook, clean and look after the house. Men out to work. None can be 'lazy', we just need the right intention when doing things. No man or woman who REALLY follows the Sunnah wouldn't 'cooperate' at home and the intention is to please Allah, inshaAllah

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islamerica

1 Ummah under God
maybe maybe not..as in some ultures the tradition is so strong..women still belong at home house and children are their job

If he never left his village then yes, but if he has been to other countries then he should have open enough mind to listen and learn. If he is into islam then you can at least reason with him using Islam, using the example of the Prophet (s.a.w.). It usually requires either a broader open mind from the husband or a very strong minded wife. Either way, marriage is what you make it or it can be what it will be if you leave it as is and just follow along.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
If he never left his village then yes, but if he has been to other countries then he should have open enough mind to listen and learn. If he is into islam then you can at least reason with him using Islam, using the example of the Prophet (s.a.w.). It usually requires either a broader open mind from the husband or a very strong minded wife. Either way, marriage is what you make it or it can be what it will be if you leave it as is and just follow along.

well yes but my husband is well educated well travelled...was open minded when we first met... but still follows traditions of his family his ountry and country we live in

even when iwas working with three young children..he would not help in the house...thqanikfully later ihad someone come in. to help ..
but would have been nice if he helped especially when iwas sick...
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
well yes but my husband is well educated well travelled...was open minded when we first met... but still follows traditions of his family his ountry and country we live in

even when iwas working with three young children..he would not help in the house...thqanikfully later ihad someone come in. to help ..
but would have been nice if he helped especially when iwas sick...

And that is the short sightedness of your husband. Degrees don't make a person wiser, traveling should. I'm surprise he's still so rigid, that traveling and meeting other people should have opened his mind a bit. My uncle never left his home country until recently and he runs his own business and yet he always helps out at home and has servants that does everything.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

I repeat...with urgency...count your blessings. So what if he does not help with the housework..the world will not end..

Try it without a husband. Try to deal with men as men deal with each other in the duyna.

Hold on to that is good...it is very very hard out here. You come home tired and you have to cook, clean, and play mommy and daddy. You pay the bills. You do it all.

The role of the wife in Islam is to count her blessings that she has a husband and hold on to that honor and privilege.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
Assalaam walaikum,

I repeat...with urgency...count your blessings. So what if he does not help with the housework..the world will not end..

Try it without a husband. Try to deal with men as men deal with each other in the duyna.

Hold on to that is good...it is very very hard out here. You come home tired and you have to cook, clean, and play mommy and daddy. You pay the bills. You do it all.

The role of the wife in Islam is to count her blessings that she has a husband and hold on to that honor and privilege.

dear sister..if that was my only worry id be so happy..this is not my complaint about housework..but just ot answer the point thta marriage should be about sharing responsibilities but in reality it is not always so
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Sister...women have always taken pride in keeping a clean home. Sister, some of us will get out of when we are sick to clean home for visitors...

The silly notion of feminism..when have women not being responsible for housework...something about guarding the property of your husband...is not housework and cooking and laundry etc..part of guarding the property...hey..it was me, I'd be well almost proud.

The sharing of responsibilities have been given to us in the Quran. It is the joy of being able to fulfill that responsibility that is our focus.
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
All this reminds me of a hadith...


The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also referred to this responsibility in his hadith:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock; a woman is the shepherd in the house of her husband and is responsible for her flock; a servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”

[Bukhari, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad #212]
 
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