A REASON WHY SHE DOESN'T WEAR HIJAB

[hayat84]

:salam2:
hoping everybody is in good health an Iman,I'm going to write something that may be interesting about a situation.

Some days ago I went with my husband and children.While my children were playing at the play garden,I met 2 maroccan women who made friendship with me,they were particularly surprised that I wore at the "islamic" way,because they didn't wear any hijab neither they were "Castfully" dressed.one of them asked me why I liked to wear at the "arabic" way.I answered that I wore in pudic manner because I am muslimah,even if I'm not maroccan.I asked them if they were muslims,thay answered "yes" with embarassement.I talked with the one women who stand with me and word after word I asked her why didn't she wear hijab like me,why didn't she give an example to other muslim sisters?!
She became red on her face and just told me that I was right and that she should have been an example for me,by the way that she is muslimah by birth.she answered me that she doesn't wear hijab in a firm way because she has problem with finding a job and she is stressed..I rested in silence,then I wished for her that Allah may guide her to the right path.


By myself there is no excuse for a woman who wears jeans and t-shirt in front of her children and then she says to be muslimah.:astag:

what would you have said,if you were at my place?

 

[Hilal Said]

:salam2:


By myself there is no excuse for a woman who wears jeans and t-shirt in front of her children and then she says to be muslimah.:astag:

what would you have said,if you were at my place?

That happens because of jahl, weakness of iman and lack of awareness of Islamic teachings.

Yesterday I was surprised when I saw one of sisters in the shopping centre wearing tight pant and scarf with make up. I really feel pain because I am in a Muslim country and I see some Muslim women dress like this. Such people think that hijab is only piece of fabric on hair and some of them think you need to wear hijab for prayer only.

I put blame also on some satellite channels which claim to be Islamic and employ female presenters. People that those presenters are example of ideal Muslimah although they were dresses not according to Islamic code of dress.

Why don't you make dawah and teach women living near you how to wear according to the Islamic code of dress. I think they will accept your dawah easily, I have this feeling.

I think those two women were feeling shameful because they are Muslim by born and you converted to Islam but practice Islam in your daily life. I think so!

 

[Tabassum07]

They are confused. There are a lot of muslims who live double lives, trying to hide their muslim identity and at the same time 'fit in' with the rest of society. I think the first step is to help these people embrace their own identity - the rest will follow. If they see how much of an honour it is to be muslim, then they will also want to follow the rest of the tenets.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
yes sister,I tried not to be rude,I directly said what Quran says,but the woman had nothing to say,I hope to see her again and maybe she will be with her feet pointed to the ground.I think that if a muslimah says to fast Ramadan,to pray 5 times a day,but when she goes around dressed like a "normal" person,then who is the "kafar" and who is not?Its like being between two paths and it isn't known which to take.
when I have an occasion to go around I always hope to spend some words about my belief and to increase the faith of those who I meet.But Allah know what my mission is in this life.

 

[hayat84]

@Tabassum07,you're right,they try to hide their identity.
it's like they are ashamed about their own religion,and many times,when it is asked them if they are muslims,they take a look around,before answering:it's what happened to me with those women.they prefered to wear tight jeans and t-shirts instead of being pudically dressed.Quran says to muslim women to cover their hair also because they can be distinguished from others.so by consequence,to be complete,a muslim woman should cover her hair and be castful in her behaviour.

 

[saima abdullah]

asalam o alykum wr wb
in todayz world there are two main confusing things in muslims about islam,
hijab and jihad.
these are the points that make one strange in others while other rituals are agreed upon by all (with differences in their methods of observing)...muslims however even-if they dont offer salah but they believe that its obligatory...
but these two obligations are been made confused because the level of sacrifice in both is great, you have to leave too many things to fulfill these obligations,
since we became habituals of ease by the course of time, so we have paved some escape roads from these ...
and as mentioned above hijab is not only a covering.....
its hiyya and covering both ...both are equally important:shymuslima1:
may Allah bestow me and my muslim sisters spirit the right way wear hijab and modesty...
:salam2:

 

[trying2learn]

What would a woman do if she lived where I live? I live in America, in a small town in the southern states. There are no shops for a woman to purchace appropriate clothing, I see many (like my sisters-in-law) who wear clothing they bought when they return to Jordan to visit family, but many women here are converts. I see many women who are trying to make american fashion fit into the Islamic way they should dress. Just curious. Thanks.

 

[hayat84]

if a woman wants to wear in an appropriate way,there are many ways to do it.I suppose that's impossible not to find a shop which sells large dresses and foulards.
It's so difficult making dawah if the person listens to you,but she has her head to another place.

 

[Asja]

:salam2:


By myself there is no excuse for a woman who wears jeans and t-shirt in front of her children and then she says to be muslimah.:astag:

what would you have said,if you were at my place?

Assalamu allaicum wa raahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Jazzak Allah khair sister for your thread. Alhamdulillah, I agree with you sister, that Muslims should not find exuses for not fullfilling some obligations towerd Allah, only if there is really good reason for not fullfiling some Islamic duty. Many Muslim sisters face diffrent situacions, and some are forced to take off hijabs or now alowed to wear hijab or niqab at some places, but truth Muslims should fight for Allahs deen,and trying the most they can to fullfill all duties towerd Allah.If they ask help of Allah, Allah will help them like Allah subhan we teala sais: And when thou art resolved, then put thy trust in Allah. Lo! Allah loveth those who put their trust (in Him). (159) If Allah is your helper none can overcome you, and if He withdraw His help from you, who is there who can help you after Him? In Allah let believers put their trust. (160) ( Al e Imran)

We should call to Islam with patiante and kind words towerd our Muslim sisters and brothers,and if they do something wrong or not fullfillng some duty towerd Allah, we should advice them with patiente and with kindness.But I did not understood sister why you have said: "and then she says to be muslimah"?She is Muslimah Alhamdulilah and have the right to say that she is Muslim Alhamdulillah, but she is only doing haram for not wearing hijab.

Me and I am sure many Muslim sisters have faced problems with wearing hijaab,and some other people, even some Muslims making it be like something wrong Astagfirullah, or even extreme.And sometimes that is really hurting a loot, because it is coming from your own Muslim sisters and brothers, but they are saying against Allahs order Astagfirullah.But Alhadmulillah, haya is the most beautiful in the sight of Allah,and it is the most beautiful for us too.May Allah subhan we teala guide them and all of us.

May Allah help you dear sister,and guide our sister.ameen summa ameen:tti_sister:

 

[dilek]

salam sisters,

hijab isnt only to cover our hairs, or modest clothes doesnt mean only to cover the body.. they show the strength of our iman at the mean time .. here in the city where i live, there are many many shops and markets to buy modest clothes, however on the street you can see a lot of women and girls with hijab + tight clothes, or even shown necks, legs etc.. When i saw such people for the first time I said to myself, they dont know whats islam, they dont know whats being a muslim or so on so.. then i changed my mind.. because each people has their own nafs and some of us control very well and follow the right path while some other choose the wrong one.. Seeing such unappropriate clothes on my muslim sisters makes me sad only and from heart i try to pray Allah to strength their iman.. I dont think that we can judge them because of their clothing. Because we all doing our bests to walk in the way of our Prophet and keep the right path always.. if one of us is doing a mistake, maybe this is the best thing that she can do currently..
May Allah helps us and keep our hearts full of His love inshaallah.

 

[Tabassum07]

What would a woman do if she lived where I live? I live in America, in a small town in the southern states. There are no shops for a woman to purchace appropriate clothing, I see many (like my sisters-in-law) who wear clothing they bought when they return to Jordan to visit family, but many women here are converts. I see many women who are trying to make american fashion fit into the Islamic way they should dress. Just curious. Thanks.

Every shop has some option - I usually shop at Kohl's or JCPenny's and its very easy to get long tunic-style shirts or long sweaters. And don't buy tight clothing, get yourself a size upwards from what you'd normally wear. If you can't find long sleeved in everything, buy long sleeved tees and layer a shorter sleeved one over it - sister, there are always options! So don't despair

Plus, there are tons and tons of online shops which sell islamic clothing you can purchase from.

 

[ShyHijabi]

What would a woman do if she lived where I live? I live in America, in a small town in the southern states. There are no shops for a woman to purchace appropriate clothing, I see many (like my sisters-in-law) who wear clothing they bought when they return to Jordan to visit family, but many women here are converts. I see many women who are trying to make american fashion fit into the Islamic way they should dress. Just curious. Thanks.

<---points to self

I became a Muslim on an island in the Caribbean with no native Muslim population and definitely no clothing shops for modest wear. Later on I moved back to the south and had to manage my way there as well. I found a few options were immensely helpful, thrift shops (for modest shirts, slacks and floor length skirts) as well as shopping online.

I use the Amirah style hijabs which can be found fairly cheap on Ebay. They are also easy to put on and don't require pins to be kept in place. (not to mention you can switch the pieces to match your clothing) Hope this helps!

 

[saifkhan]

Salam alaikum

May Allah guide us all
may Allah protect our sister all around the world.
may Allah help us, especially muslim brothers to uphold the human rights, women rights, our sisters', wives' and mothers' rights, ameen

wassalam

 

[booya]

While hijab is obligatory, I think each person has their own struggles.

It's also important to think positively to our brothers and sisters.
Living in a Muslim majority country, I've seen everything from tight-clothes-with-hijab, short-sleeves-w-hijab to the proper hijab. But yet sometimes those who do not cover (even inappropriate) are the first who head to salah when the time comes. That is a good thing. I've heard a scholar say, even if there is 90% of wrong, there is 10% of right. What we need to do is encourage the 10%.

The fact that she is embarrassed means that she felt something; that she wants to be just like you, and I think that is good.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
Thank you everybody for you opinions,I'm happy I'm doing something helpful.
So,for the future,if I meet another sister in Islam who doesn't wear hijab,is it right for me to tell her that Islam says to women to cover the hair?
I want to distinguish myself from the ones who aren't like me,but in the same time I wish to give the input to those women who are undecided for some reasons.
As I learnt on Tti,sincerety and honesty are fundamntal in Islam,so is there something wrong if I meet a woman who gets embarassed because I wear hijab,while she doesn't,and telling her the truth that she knows?
I'm worried to cause damages among those sisters who don't wear hijab,because they could tell me to make my business

 

[booya]

There are 3 things you need to consider before giving advice: the time when you say it, how you say it, and the words you say.

And of course there are other considerations and you should be the judge. Hijab is obviously a command, but is it wise to tell a brand-new sister to wear it while she's still struggling to pray? Some people also take advice differently, some are welcoming and thankful, but some can get irritated.

 

[kayleigh]

Uh... honestly, I wouldn't say anything even if I wore hijab because its not your place to be so forward and judgmental with someone you don't even know. Not just that, but the way you've told the story makes it sound like you came off really rude and harsh.

Sorry, but women who don't wear hijab have heard it a million times and it's annoying and a broken record. If you're nice about it, then its different and we (at least I) get that you have good intentions, but still... I struggle to not roll my eyes sometimes.

and yes, you *can* be a Muslim and have a lot of faith and not wear hijab - modesty is important but don't even begin to compare it to things like prayer, hajj, fasting, etc. Not wearing it does NOT make you a kaffir, so please don't even try to suggest that. Then you'd be getting into dangerous territory.

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

Uh... honestly, I wouldn't say anything even if I wore hijab because its not your place to be so forward and judgmental with someone you don't even know. Not just that, but the way you've told the story makes it sound like you came off really rude and harsh.

Sorry, but women who don't wear hijab have heard it a million times and it's annoying and a broken record. If you're nice about it, then its different and we (at least I) get that you have good intentions, but still... I struggle to not roll my eyes sometimes.

and yes, you *can* be a Muslim and have a lot of faith and not wear hijab - modesty is important but don't even begin to compare it to things like prayer, hajj, fasting, etc. Not wearing it does NOT make you a kaffir, so please don't even try to suggest that. Then you'd be getting into dangerous territory.

:salam2:

With due respect sister, disbelieving or denying even a single verse of the Quran is disbelieving in Allah (SWT). If someone is wronging themselves and is failed to carry out some of the commandments but is aware of it and has an intention of rectifying it then only it is excusable. Hijab for both men and women is very important and not just the average modesty which we define today. Hijab is not just covering your body but lowering your gaze, but covering your body is one very important aspect. Failing to carry out any command from Allah (SWT) is like following the footsteps of shaytan.
(I seek refuge in Allah from shaytan, the accursed)
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning) 24:21 "O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing."
While not doing hijab out of ignorance (and not by arrogance) does not take one out of the fold of Islam (this ruling applies to all commands like drinking, smoking ,etc), but it insists that we are following the footsteps of shaytan and we encourage fornication. By not maintaining to the criteria of hijab, we encourage fornication of the eye, the ears, the mouth, etc. Hijab is not just about modesty, it differentiates between a respectable woman/man from a woman/man who is not respectable and a believing man/woman from a disbelieving man/woman, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning) 24:30 "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do." 24:31 "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful." As you can see sister, Allah is asking the believing men and women to adhere to hijab and guard their chastity. You can go through the tafsir of the Surat An-Nur and you will see that Allah has ordered for hijab to differentiate between chaste men/women from adulterous men/women and fornicators. These commands were revealed in context, when some liars had wrongfully alleged Aisha (May Allah Have Mercy on her), the mother of the believers of having an illegitimate relationship with another man. Then Allah (Subhana Wa'tala) sent down verses which cleared Aisha (May Allah Have Mercy on her) of the false accusations and then Allah commanded the believing men and women with the above verses that I have quoted. You see sister hijab is not just the average modesty, as we understand. It is so important that it is actually a difference between believer and disbeliever and respected and the disrespected. Failing to follow out any commands by action is in itself disbelief (some are major and some are minor), the major ones take one out of the fold of Islam (like not praying 5 times, not fasting, not paying zakat), while the minor ones don't take one out of Islam (but it is still considered as a kind of a lesser form of disbelief and can be sufficient for one to enter the Hell fire). I hope I did not hurt you or offend you by this, as my only intention was to tell you the difference between just any modesty and modesty in Islam. Everything has a deeper and implied meaning in Islam. Modesty can vary through perceptions of individuals but in Islam, modesty is only defined by the rules set forth by Allah (SWT). Failing to stand out with ones identity, specially in a non-Muslim society shows great weakness and flaws in ones eeman. If a person is a really devoted Muslim then hijab should be the everyday thing for him/her, very easy to adhere to and those people won't be swayed or distracted by the western culture. May Allah forgive us all and guide us to the straight path.

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalaamu alaikum,

I agree with this :

Some people also take advice differently, some are welcoming and thankful, but some can get irritated.

Booya I think you did a good job in mentioning that. I have seen both sides actually....and I now try to just not judge anymore. The thing is many of us dont know the reason behind why such and such sister is not wearing the Hijab. So, I think it's better to watch....when, how and what you say before you even say anything. Many times, your intentions are correct and sencere, but to another you might seem like you're looking down at them and that you're being judgmental.
Dawah is neesah (good advising)....iam pretty sure thats the right translation? anyway, what I mean here is that.....when you try to give good advice to others, be kind and warm hearted-people tend to listen when they see you care

I ask Allaah to guide all those who seek guidance,

May Allaah reward your intentions. ameen

 

[kayleigh]

:salam2:

With due respect sister, disbelieving or denying even a single verse of the Quran is disbelieving in Allah (SWT).

Not doing something and not believing it's even in the Qur'an are two different things. I'm sure there's plenty of things in the Qur'an you've ignored or gone against throughout your life, just as everyone else has. If being perfect was a condition to being Muslim, then there wouldn't be any Muslims.

Not wearing hijab does not automatically make you a non-Muslim. Period. My original comment on the topic was directed at a post the OP made questioning who the real kaffir is if a woman goes out without hijab, which is just ridiculous.