For when the unbelievers attack you with the '12 year old wife' argument - A one sentence response.

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by OsMaN_93, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. OsMaN_93
    Amused
    Offline

    OsMaN_93 Here to help

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2007
    Messages:
    3,738
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +21 / 0
    salam alikom,

    Unbeliever: Why did your prophet marry a 12 year old?
    Muslim: Simply put, this was essential for the survival of the population due to the high mortality rate 1400 years ago, so it was a normal yet essential thing to do, to maintain the population.

    If s/he gets confused, then just add: Otherwise, the population would not have been sustainable, because people had very short life spans, and many died at a very young age. So getting married and bearing as many children as possible, was the rational thing to do, since it was likely that 1/3 (I do not have a source for this) of the babies would die before reaching the age of say 3 years old] (again, I do not have a source for this).


    Someone in my class asked me this a few days ago, and this is what I usually tell them - they seem to accept this argument as logical and are convinced. This is my favourite response, there are many others that are probably even more convincing that this, but I find this sufficient to keep my faith strong in Islam.

    I hope this helps you too, isnshallah.
    Wasalam alikom
    • Like Like x 1
  2. thariq2005
    Offline

    thariq2005 Praise be to Allah!

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,333
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +55 / 0
    He :saw2: married `Aa'ishah when she was 6 years old and consummated the married when she was 9 years old.

    BaarakAllaahu feek
    Wassalaamu `alaykum
  3. Perseveranze
    Offline

    Perseveranze Junior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2010
    Messages:
    570
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +13 / 0
    Asalaamu Alaikum,

    Or you could just say;

    1400 years ago, 9 year olds married, 10 year olds inherited kingdoms and 11 year olds lead men into battle.

    And ofcourse -

    Such marriages were not seen as improper in historical context, and that individuals in such societies matured at an earlier age than in the modern West.[15] - Colin Turner, Islam: The Basics, Routledge Press, pp. 34-35

    If you also study the life of Aisha(ra), she was far more capable then any 9 year old today, more capable then most women today aswell.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Bubbybobble
    Offline

    Bubbybobble Junior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2011
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    Things have changed then. Adolescence actually goes until the age of 25 according to psych studies. The reason is because of the modernity of society. Kids go to school longer and focus on education more. We also live a lot longer. People like to use this as an attack, but society was different. As soon as one could have a mesntrual cycle or so was enough time for one to marry.


    You have to look at it, the last 200 years have changed dynamics a lot. In countries not so western, you can see kids are much more mature, than, say an 18 year old. Society always changes.
  5. muslimshabs
    Busy
    Offline

    muslimshabs Junior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2010
    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +3 / 0
    walaikum salaam...

    jazakallahu khair...

    I have learnt to tackle these situations as "If somebody happens to ask you about the things like this , tell him that you can provide him enough evidences that Muhammad :saw: is a prophet. that is it . now if he accepts that after providing proofs , then everything the Prophet MUhammad :saw: did was from ALlah. and this was also from Allah, no debate. and if he denies it then there is no discussion, He is not gonna accept it... whatever the reason you give him...

    It is not about winning a debate but delivering the message...
  6. kashif_nazeer
    No Mood
    Offline

    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2008
    Messages:
    1,529
    Likes Received:
    34
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    In this world on the land
    Ratings Received:
    +55 / 1
    :wasalam:

    Allahu Akbar!
    Headshot.It's not about winning or losing,guidance is from Allah,duty is ours,to deliver the message.
  7. Just a Guy
    Offline

    Just a Guy Reinventing Myself

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2011
    Messages:
    730
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Wherever I am
    Ratings Received:
    +8 / 0
    :salam2:

    This is the argument that I use as well, based on my knowledge of history.

    When you die at 40, you have to start raising children as soon as you can. When your kids likely don't even survive into adulthood, you have to have as many kids as possible.

    Assuming an average lifespan of 40 years or so (which was about right for back then) and average age of puberty at 12, that only leaves you 28 years to have children and raise them to adulthood before you die. That's not a lot of time for raising a family and ensuring that you carry on your legacy to the next generation, especially with a high infant mortality rate.

    Now if you want to add religion into it, everyone married young back then. Muslims, Christians, pagans... everyone. So it's unfair to single out the Prophet :saw2: without mentioning anyone else.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Idris16
    Offline

    Idris16 Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,593
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +21 / 0
    Just ask them, why did an old Joseph marry a young Mary according to Christian belief? They'll say: ''He never did!''. You tell them ''Provide proof''.
  9. complex_man
    Offline

    complex_man Junior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2011
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0
    i dont care what they think . i believe in islam and this is truth for me.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Karima80
    Offline

    Karima80 Junior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings Received:
    +9 / 0
    :salam2: brothers and sister,
    This is a very good discussion. I've used same reply when people use this question. And I add that it was a custome to get married at young ages for christians during this time (1400) too. Even today in some African countries, christian wed their daughters very young. So this isn't exclusive for muslim.
  11. Aapa
    Offline

    Aapa Mirajmom

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,991
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings Received:
    +150 / 12
    Assalaam walaikum,

    A non-believer can not attack me on this subject. There is nothing hidden. It is well documented. The marriage was ordained by Allah subhana wa taala. The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, had two dreams. The father of the bride was pleased. The wives of the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, were happy. And, the Mother of the Believers, agreed to it.

    Things really haven't changed that much. Puberty is still the definition of adulthood in Islam. We just procrastinate age and call it adolescence.

    I have met a young woman. I have told her that I have written about her. I told her I do not know what to do with our relationship. She is twelve. I am at an age where one does not reveal. She is one of the most mature and wise people I have ever met. And I have met a lot of people. She is my student. She is also my Arabic teacher. She has given me understanding. Age is so irrelevant. Physical age.

    We have become very comfortable in labels. We allow others to think for us. Islam has told us the key word: puberty. The onset of puberty is the awakening of the soul learning to live in her everchanging physical body. ( Sorry, I could not find simpler words to describe that).

    I thought they taught biology in school.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Hard Rock Moslem
    Offline

    Hard Rock Moslem I'm your brother

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Messages:
    2,102
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Allah's servant
    Location:
    South East Asia
    Ratings Received:
    +16 / 0
    I will asked back, did He (the Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him) married her? Are you sure? Pls confirm, did He legally married her? Alhamdulillah and thank you for being honest. Some non believers like to hide the truth and pour lies about our Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him). The fact is, He (blessings and peace be upon him) did married Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) at the age of 6 (maybe not 12 or maybe yes), with her parents approval. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) did not take (astafirullah) Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) by illegal means. There was no objection from anyone to this marriage at that time. This marriage took place during the time there were worst non believers who wanted to kill our Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) i.e the Quraish. They persecuted Him and called Him liar, sorcerer etc (Allah forbids) although just before that they called Him "al-amin". Surprisingly His arch-enemies never mock about His marriages to Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her). Why? If the non believers who wanted to kill Him did not mentioned anything negative about His marriages to Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her), why are we being busy body today? They could have used this marriage in their smear campaign but they did not because it is non issue at that time. Don't you think it was an acceptable culture at that time to marry a girl at such young age which now being viewed as unacceptable?
  13. Mairo
    Offline

    Mairo Maryama

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2007
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Accounting
    Ratings Received:
    +9 / 0
    Well, you can see human nature is truly evident. For example, in the ”West” we witness young adolescents becoming sexually active. For some reason it has become acceptable to do so casually in a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship but not in marriage. Makes no sense, and it really undermines these young peoples sense of dignity and worth.
  14. hana*
    Offline

    hana* Junior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Messages:
    776
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    pharmacist
    Location:
    london/kent
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0
    it was absolutely the norm at that time. correct me if i am wrong, but wasnt sayidah Aisha (ra) previously engaged to Abu Lahab's son, which was called off when the Prophet peace be upon him declared his prophethood??

Share This Page