Munawar
Striving for Paradise
:salam2:
Until yesterday I never thought that I will have to defend the act of "inviting someone to supper". But it looks like this is an opportunity to un-lock something.
I have read it somewhere "One should never be concerned about having an extra person join them to share their meal. Sharing food is a virtue and it is always possible to feed an extra person with the portion available." So as I said earlier inviting someone for dinner should not be a burden, unless you really want it to be a burden.
We have six family members in my home and suppose we are inviting a family of four, we have to cook food for 6 people anyway now we just add portions for 4 more people. Instead of 3 cups of rice, we make 5 cups of rice. Instead of 6 pieces of chicken we make 10 pieces of chicken etc. For sweet dish buy cheese-cake or even ice-cream. What I am saying is we never felt it a big deal to invite a family for dinner. If you invite one family per month, then within 6 months you will have friendship with 6 families. Also think about it when they will invite you, you won't have to cook that day.
Those who don't/can't cook, they can get food from restaurant, these days there are many halal food restaurants in many cities. I would not recommend eating in a restaurant. Food should always be served at home. The couple of hours of audio/visual input you receive in the home is the key in developing bonds and friendship.
Once you get to know these families and have a closer bond then you can have other activities. Like we planned and went to the mall togather with a family, same thing during sales after new year, and we have gone for picnic togather too. Many times it happened that we are going to Sam's club and my wife called and asked some of these ladies if they want anything from there. If they want something then we go and drop it to their house. This gives us another opportunity to meet and chat for a few minutes. I think this is how people develop friendship and these are little things that count. I have no real brother or sister living here, yet I don't feel loneliness in a country which is thousands of miles away from my home country. Believe me once you have 4 or 5 Muslim families going like that you won't feel any loneliness.
Here is an interesting article written by a non-muslim about Islamic traditions:
Hospitality: A Worldwide Islamic Tradition
— by Keith Carey
Hospitality is a common feature that characterizes Muslims around the world. This is why they are often perceived as very generous people. For most Muslims, hospitality lies at the heart of who they are. Families judge themselves and each other by their generosity to guests when they entertain. Guests are welcomed into the home and shown kindness regardless of whether they are relatives, friends, neighbors, or strangers.
Islam stresses the entertainment of guests. Muhammad, their prophet, said, "When a person is invited to a feast and he does not accept (or reply), he disobeys Allah" (according to Abu Dawud, Hadith 26.5, of the traditions of prophet Mohammad). Social functions are recommended in which people should eat together, "Gather together at your meals and you will be blessed therein" (26:14).
A "gentlemen's agreement" in the Arab Muslim world today is still spoken of as "bread and salt" between us. The worst kind of betrayal is by someone who has eaten with a family and then deliberately hurts them. Such a person has betrayed a sacred covenant. Cultures of Bible times also express these morals; several scriptures illustrate this in the Bible such as Psalm 41:9 and John 13:18 in which Judas betrayed Jesus.
Traditionally, a stranger could arrive at the door and expect three days' hospitality before being asked any questions. Among the Bedouins, whoever sees a stranger coming from afar and exclaims, "Here comes my guest!" has the right to claim him. The host will then prepare a generous meal for him even if it means that his family goes without. This custom continues to be important throughout the Muslim world. In regions where Muslims face harsh living conditions and poverty, they will attempt to give what they have to guests and do without themselves.
There are certain understood formalities for receiving callers. For example, Muslim etiquette stresses that you must never keep someone standing outside because this indicates that you want them to leave. In fact, if a caller comes and stays only a short time, it is customary to tell them their visit "did not count." They must return for a longer visit because the host couldn't enjoy them long enough! Traditional Arab Muslim greetings for a guest entering their home include, "My home is your home," and "Peace be upon you."
Gestures and body movements to communicate honor and courtesy in greeting are also very important among Muslims. These show friendliness, generosity and hospitality. The following are some of those forms of greetings. Placing the palm of the right hand on the chest immediately after shaking hands with another man shows respect or thanks. They may add a very slight bow of the head. Shaking hands or kissing each other on both sides of the face shows respect or affection. Such physical gestures of hospitality and affection are only expressed between men and separately between women.
Food: An Important Part of Muslim Hospitality
Muslims commonly use two terms to describe food: "halal" and "haram." "Halal" is an Arabic word which means permitted or lawful, similar to kosher food in Jewish society. "Haram" means forbidden or unlawful. Haram foods should never be eaten by Muslims. Examples of haram foods are pork and shellfish. All food is considered to be halal unless it is mentioned in the Koran or Hadith as being non-halal.
The Koran refers to food being shared between Muslims, Christians and Jews. The quotation states, "And the food of those who have been given the Book (i.e., the Bible) is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them" (Koran 5.5). According to Islamic teaching alcohol is forbidden, although some Muslims drink. In various Arab countries, the possession of alcohol is strictly forbidden to everyone. In other countries such as Iraq, it is available and sold publicly. Often the liquor stores in Iraq are run by Chaldean Christians.
Most meals served by Muslims are often festive, warm and casual. Arab hospitality dictates that twice the amount of food needed for a meal should be prepared. They feel this honors the guest by showing generosity. A lavish table is a way of bestowing esteem and affection on a guest, especially when it is their first visit. Often there is not one variety of olives on the table, but three, humus and eggplant, some pita bread, pickles, and white cheese. There are at least two main courses, should a course not be to the guests' taste. Frequently there are fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, okra, onions and eggs. The guests are made to feel at home, and are encouraged to sample everything offered. If the guests do not try every course and feel uncomfortably full by the end of the meal, most hosts feel they have failed.
The sharing of food is the heart of relationships among Muslim people. It may not always mean a full course meal in all countries. In Turkey, for example, families usually get together for tea and desserts rather than a meal. In Yemen, the women often gather together for prolonged tea drinking parties. In any Arab country it is common for people to share strong coffee flavored with cardamom and sugar. This is often served in small colorful cups. If not coffee, the host may give his guests cola or lemon-lime soda.
The sharing of food among Muslims is a very important feature of their social life. This forms an important link in the bonds that give the society its coherence and distinctive character. It is especially important during the holy month of Ramadan when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. At the breaking of the fast Muslims often meet at the mosques where they share food. Many mosques in the U.S. and other parts of the world extend open invitation to non-Muslims to join their Muslim neighbors to experience the warmth of Muslim hospitality and cultural diversity.
If there is one thing that can be the "bridge" between Muslims and Christians that could open a door to bringing the knowledge of the living God and salvation to them, it could be hospitality. Christians participating with Muslims during Ramadan is a wonderful opportunity to develop friendship with them. This can lead to better understanding between Christians and Muslims. It allows for a time when they can ask each other questions about their faith.
What Does the Bible Say About Hospitality?Throughout the Bible the sharing of food together is often mentioned as a token of friendship and commitment. This entire "code" of hospitality in the Middle East was so strong that it is expressed in a biblical warning, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." (Heb. 13:2, NASB).
There is to be a final Great Banquet in Heaven, and it will be one in which God gathers all His people. There will be representatives from every people group on the earth, "from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing before the Throne and before the Lamb" (Rev. 7:9a) clothed in white robes, crying out in a loud voice, 'Salvation to our God who sits on the throne.'"
Mabruk for your reversion.
