Love Before Marriage

R

revert2007

Love Fishing
Thread Closed

This is the question that I always debate with others.Even there was once my friend gave me this title to discuss in my English class.

Well, Love is something pure and true and it is one of Allah's amazing gift.Love is fun,undeniable.But if u misuse it,it will only destroy yourself.

As Allah's creation,we should live and act according to His rules.
There is always the correct path to channel your love.
Love before marriage is the love which will lead you to syaitan's path.

If u like someone,get married.but don't be couples for many years.If ur not sure whether ur going to marry the person or not,don't be couple at all in the first place.

Love someone because of Allah and it is not because of lust.
The true love comes after marriage.Don't do anything before marriage because Allah will take away ur marriage barakah.

Please think about it. :wasalam:
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
I believe sister rever interprets love as dating without mahram. Dating before marriage does not necessarily last, in fact (from my experience) , the contrary happens.

The thing is that when you and your parents come to meet your future wife's family, the love might have start to develop. Or maybe when you see her picture , love might have start to develop. So love here means having feelings for someone.

Yes, love is fun( No one cany refute that)....
 
Hard Rock Moslem

Hard Rock Moslem

I'm your brother
When first started falling in LOVE with someone, they forget themselves.

When they are in LOVE, they forget their religion.

Finally when they are married, now they forget LOVE.
 
Muslim18

Muslim18

Blessed Muslimah
:salam2:

This topic always crops up at home and everyone looks at me like i am mad i totally agree with you sis and i always say Marriage first Love later because the love has time to develop and strengthen unlike Love marriages that are built on lust these marriages break down as the partners may lose interest of eachother because soon when the lust dies down they have to live with eachother and care for eachother. heres my equation

Lust leads to Late marriage= loss of interest = divorce

Marriage leads to know, knowing leads to like And Like GROWS to LOVE and that marriage has blessing in it.

If you want a blessed marriage i think its important that you start it with khair and it will maintain its blessings inshallah

hope i didnt offend i dont know much about marriage i just talk i know its much harder than it looks

:wasalam:
 
R

revert2007

Love Fishing
alkathiri said:
I believe sister rever interprets love as dating without mahram. Dating before marriage does not necessarily last, in fact (from my experience) , the contrary happens.

The thing is that when you and your parents come to meet your future wife's family, the love might have start to develop. Or maybe when you see her picture , love might have start to develop. So love here means having feelings for someone.

Yes, love is fun( No one cany refute that)....
Click to expand...

have u ever heard about zina through heart,zina through eyes,zina through mouth?
 
a_muslimah86

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
I think love is often stigmatized and over-feared!...its consequences greatly vary..and so do its ends..many times it provokes an ending that is honorable and fruitful..at times it does the opposite..the point is..*it varies*..there are those who chain themselves to the purity and nobility of love and seek nothing from it but Allah's pleasure because they realize that Allah has instilled this sentiment within their hearts as a *test* for them..while others take that love..shake it..roll it..beat it..toss it..pick it up..and beat it some more..only to turn it to an *infatuation* or a *lust* of temporary presence..these are the ones who follow whims and disregard the deeper meaning of their emotions...

Is love better before or after marriage one may ask?

The answer is *allah a'alam*...it has worked and failed both ways...we cannot take one assumption and apply to *all* cases..and just to be clear..I am not talking about the so-called "love" people claim to feel after "dating" someone for 2 months!..I am talking about *true love* which one feels based on and due to virtuous entities

Love is pure and delightful..*we* are the ones who take it and taint it with our human weakness towards lust and desires..the problem is not with love..the problem is with *us*
 
A

abulzan07

Junior Member
I belive there is nothing like love before marriage its all lust in some other form and love bring you into such a big mess that it will lead you do which is totally unaccetable in eyes of Allah and society and when love happens people started making promises like will do this and that and den marriage promises and they do the thing whch in order they should do last and but with help of love they do it first and everything later but as one of the sister on top said if they did wrong before marriage the blessing of Allah is taken most of these people either could not marry even if they marry their is no barkah left in their marriage so they dont enjoy a good and religious life....so try to stay away from it and if you wanna marry do it by halal dont thnk that you can do thing like marriage whch is such has such a high status in islam through haram its impossible even if you do there is no blessing in it and you wil feel sooner or later
 
Yousef83

Yousef83

Junior Member
Yes i agree with you all,actually no need to discuss this subject too much,all real Muslims would agree already.Which Muslims flirt before marriage they know the fact and they do wrong but they can't stop it thats all
 
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Achmat_Samsodien

Junior Member
I'm in love and I'm not yet married.
What made me fall in love? The deen of my significant other, Alhamdulillah.
Now we plan to marry by the end of the year Insha Alllah.
 
Yousef83

Yousef83

Junior Member
to love is one of the perfect feels creation of Allah (c.c) on us but its also very dangerous because people start to love person more than Allah (c.c) if you exaggerate that feel.You start to keep away from Allah's (c.c) road very easly.Its a kind of drunkenness to love a person more than normal and deficiency of imaan.
 
R

revert2007

Love Fishing
allah is with me said:
it is also not sin if we love before marriage right?
Click to expand...

it depends how strong is ur iman...only Allah knows.but i would strongly say that the phenomena of love before marriage is more to kafir's thing.during our prophet itself there is no such thing as love or dating before marriage.Remember how Khadijah,our prophet's wife proposed him?
it is every individual's choice.

please read an-nur ayah 30 and 31:

30# Order the Muslim men to lower down their sights a little and to guard their private parts. This is cleaner for them, undoubtedly, Allah is Aware of their deeds.

31# And order the Muslim women to lower down their sights a little and guard their chastity and show not their adornment but as much which is itself apparent and remain putting their head coverings over their bosoms. And disclose not their adornment but to their husbands, or to their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or to their or the of sons husbands or their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters or the women of their religion or their handmaids who are the property of their hands or servants provided they are not men of sexual desire or the children who are unaware of the private parts of the women; and put not their feet forcibly on the ground that hidden adornment may be known. And repent to Allah, O Muslims all together, haply you may get prosperity.
 
Muslimah16

Muslimah16

ServantOfAllah*
Like i said before... i really dont believe in love marriages.. like if you go looking for a guy or girl
It's a complicated situation, love. Especially in this day and age where everyone loves anyone and everyone.. like you dont even know the person properly.. and u end up hearing yourself say 'i love you'

LOve after marriage seems more appropriate and suitable.

Wallahu a'alam
 
R

revert2007

Love Fishing
Muslimah16 said:
Like i said before... i really dont believe in love marriages.. like if you go looking for a guy or girl for that matter.
It's a complicated situation, love. Especially in this day and age where everyone loves anyone and everyone.. like you dont even know the person!

LOve after marriage seems more appropriate and suitable.

Wallahu a'alam
Click to expand...

i totally agree with u sister
 
P

Peace92

Revert to Islam
Personal, experience.... dont bother with love before marriage.. Guys leave you after they get what they want.
 
abu'muhammad

abu'muhammad

Junior Member
:salam2: sister,

I may not say always but probably love for someone before marriage is desire or attraction whether people agree or not with that. this is my personal view. I do not mean that such love after marriage do not sustain.But to leave a thing that has more badness than goodness than it has to be . Before marriage intermingling, watching, talking, chatting etc are prohibited, than love, dating is further than that which includes all the above things. A correct muslim character is one that is in love to prosper, learn and devote to religion. Love of Allah and His messenger blooms in the heart.

Than further those People take love as phoning, talking, meeting, chatting. These are all prohibited. Even those people know that shari bounds are broken, but they are make-uped by modernization. No attempt is made to leave such things or come to learn or make their religion stronger. Or do not realize the corruption, tribulations. and set an example for others to follow. Some do not have proper earning or rather they do not take care of being responsible in economical, social or other life although have time for affair. Rather Islamic teachings is to develop responsible society who could lift themselves as well their family, islamic community, society and set an example of ideal muslim. Youth is the blessing of Allah and everyone would be asked of it, where it has been used. So to use that wisely in the boundaries of shariah and set an illustration of ideal muslim.

The bitter reality is people overlook or not concerned that Islamic laws are broken. Further happens in such cases is that people marry, paining or angrying those parents who taught them and took care of them since. As per islamic view, parents need to be happy, consoled and ready for such marriage. Sometimes this things are not found in such marriage or parents show consent for child’s happiness. The marriage may be without cordiality of both the parties or further sometimes reason for tensed relations. Honestly, the time is such that at some situations opposite genders come in contact without deliberate effort. And honestly if someone like other than they should approach their parents with islamic way, rather than springing love and likeness of it . so that bounds of Islam remain intact. Because non-mahram is still non-mahram !

One of the things I concern here is role of parents should be to bring - up their children In Islamic environment. Show them difference between right and wrong. Take care of their affairs. Treat them with love and nourish their childhood with correct knowledge. So that children do not fall in imported traps of dating and likes of that. further adherence to quran and sunnah is khair and way to success for all.

:wasalam:
 
slaveofAllah88

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o alikum,
alot of people might hate my opinion but here goes.
I dont believe in the love that is shown by the western media and other form of media. lol u know where the girl and guy are singing to each other stupid songs lol. Somehow i feel like the word i love you loses the meaning in the western society.
Having said that I strongly believe in love before marriage but let me explain that, Love as in personality attraction or likesnes to the person.
It really depends on the personal experience, but i feel like love marriages are better off, by love i mean man and women got to know each other and like each other.
I think its important before marriage that the guy and girl get to know each other (obviously with a mahram with them) and show a likeness in a way that they might call it a beginning of love, alot of time love after marriage is forced or doesn't get generated which causes problem in the marriage later.
 
slaveofAllah88

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
Peace92 said:
Personal, experience.... dont bother with love before marriage.. Guys leave you after they get what they want.
Click to expand...

:salam2:
i kinda have to disagree too, cuz not all guys are alike.
Its important to have love that is likeness between personality, what i notice with most people these days is that they call LOVE physical attraction which ends up bad, instead of the attraction of personality or common ground.
 
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