ShahnazZ
Striving2BeAStranger
:salam2:, I hope you're all in the best state of health and iman.
Where to begin? My hands are slightly shaking right now. Guess it comes in the line of work.
Firstly, I want you all to know that you've become a part of my family in the last 3 years. I trust the advice you give me and you have my love and gratitude fi sabil Allah.
As many of you know, I work at an agency that works with female Muslim victims of domestic violence. So you can basically say that I've seen it all and unfortunately, nothing surprises me anymore. Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT has brought me a long way since my first initial days of shock and dismay. However, there are just some things you can't be prepared for.
One area where the line gets fuzzy is when I come across inquiries from women that I personally know. These women either don't know that I work there or aren't aware that all the organization staff members have access to all the emails, unless it's addressed to one of us personally. So many of my most awkward moments entail moments like these, when I realize I know the victim.
Today, the organization received a letter from a sister that attended the MSA at my college. Prior to reading the message, I first checked to see if her email matched the email of the girl I knew. It did. I dreaded reading her message knowing that someone I knew was experiencing dire circumstances as most of the women who contacted us usually did.
My shock increased to it's maximum when I realized that the good, pious, MSA-frequenting sister I knew was begging us to help her because she was 6 months pregnant with a child conceived from zina. The sister needed help so badly and was so ashamed about lying to her parents, whom she loved dearly, about the haram relationship she had with her boyfriend of 5 years. She's no longer with him but she's pregnant with his child and doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to approach her parents, how to approach the father of her child. She wants to marry a good Muslim man but now wonders how that can happen because she has a child out of zina.
I'm at work right now and I can't afford to burst into tears like I so badly want to right now, but this has shaken me up beyond anything else I've ever witnessed. And I've witnessed alot at this organization. Before anyone accuses me of judging her, please be aware that that's not what's going on. I just never understood why zina was always worth it. Why is endangering your soul worth the carnal pleasure of this life? Why is physically being with the opposite sex so above and beyond going to hell? My heart is breaking for her so badly right now. I can't imagine what she's going through or how she feels about herself. I want to help her but I feel so emotionally distraught at the situation that I know I can't disconnect myself from it professionally as I should. I passed her case on to one of the social workers and am grateful that I won't have to interact with her.
My mind is in a whirlwind right now and I want to cry. We all sin and none of us are above another but it honestly disgusts me how something done in secret and forbidden by Allah could be indulged with so frequently and with such consistency. Alhamdulillah, I'm extremely grateful that Allah SWT has saved me from such a path but my heart continues to break for her. I feel as if her pain is my pain. Whenever one of my fellow Muslims commits such an act, my heart breaks but then it also breaks when they have to experience such pain at committing such an act.
It's difficult to explain but this is something that affects me greatly. I wish I could help her but I can't stop getting emotional about her situation myself. I guess in the end all I can do is make dua for her and thank Allah SWT for protecting me from so much fitnah. This world is truly a battlefield and subhanAllah, we're just lucky if we manage to walk away unscathed.
Barakallahu feekum for your advice.
Where to begin? My hands are slightly shaking right now. Guess it comes in the line of work.
Firstly, I want you all to know that you've become a part of my family in the last 3 years. I trust the advice you give me and you have my love and gratitude fi sabil Allah.
As many of you know, I work at an agency that works with female Muslim victims of domestic violence. So you can basically say that I've seen it all and unfortunately, nothing surprises me anymore. Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT has brought me a long way since my first initial days of shock and dismay. However, there are just some things you can't be prepared for.
One area where the line gets fuzzy is when I come across inquiries from women that I personally know. These women either don't know that I work there or aren't aware that all the organization staff members have access to all the emails, unless it's addressed to one of us personally. So many of my most awkward moments entail moments like these, when I realize I know the victim.
Today, the organization received a letter from a sister that attended the MSA at my college. Prior to reading the message, I first checked to see if her email matched the email of the girl I knew. It did. I dreaded reading her message knowing that someone I knew was experiencing dire circumstances as most of the women who contacted us usually did.
My shock increased to it's maximum when I realized that the good, pious, MSA-frequenting sister I knew was begging us to help her because she was 6 months pregnant with a child conceived from zina. The sister needed help so badly and was so ashamed about lying to her parents, whom she loved dearly, about the haram relationship she had with her boyfriend of 5 years. She's no longer with him but she's pregnant with his child and doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to approach her parents, how to approach the father of her child. She wants to marry a good Muslim man but now wonders how that can happen because she has a child out of zina.
I'm at work right now and I can't afford to burst into tears like I so badly want to right now, but this has shaken me up beyond anything else I've ever witnessed. And I've witnessed alot at this organization. Before anyone accuses me of judging her, please be aware that that's not what's going on. I just never understood why zina was always worth it. Why is endangering your soul worth the carnal pleasure of this life? Why is physically being with the opposite sex so above and beyond going to hell? My heart is breaking for her so badly right now. I can't imagine what she's going through or how she feels about herself. I want to help her but I feel so emotionally distraught at the situation that I know I can't disconnect myself from it professionally as I should. I passed her case on to one of the social workers and am grateful that I won't have to interact with her.
My mind is in a whirlwind right now and I want to cry. We all sin and none of us are above another but it honestly disgusts me how something done in secret and forbidden by Allah could be indulged with so frequently and with such consistency. Alhamdulillah, I'm extremely grateful that Allah SWT has saved me from such a path but my heart continues to break for her. I feel as if her pain is my pain. Whenever one of my fellow Muslims commits such an act, my heart breaks but then it also breaks when they have to experience such pain at committing such an act.
It's difficult to explain but this is something that affects me greatly. I wish I could help her but I can't stop getting emotional about her situation myself. I guess in the end all I can do is make dua for her and thank Allah SWT for protecting me from so much fitnah. This world is truly a battlefield and subhanAllah, we're just lucky if we manage to walk away unscathed.
Barakallahu feekum for your advice.