Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by HIVpozmuslim, Feb 22, 2010.
well sorry. I guess I'll go to class now..oh great look at the time!! :shymuslima1: take care...
I would prefer "O" as some of my friends call me rather than Ted.
What's wrong with the name I gave you??? LOL okay Brother O. No problem...
There is nothing wrong with Ted... Well i will give you and other on this forum exception to call me Ted or "O" , what ever you feel comfortable with.
Alhamdulillah you have repented before it is too late take which in itself is a mercy from Allah . As long as you have sincerely repented put your trust In Allah and hope for his mercy and do not be hard on yourself. It seems your illness was a blessing in disguise because had it not been for your illness you probably would not have repented and carried on as you were.
Firstly: Making mistakes and falling short are undoubtedly part of human nature and no one will be free of shortcomings in his obedience to Allaah, or free of mistakes or forgetfulness or sins. All of us fall short, commit sins, and make mistakes. Sometimes we turn to Allaah and sometimes we turn away from Him. Sometimes we remember that Allaah is watching and sometimes we become negligent. None of us is free of sin, and we will inevitably make mistakes. We are not infallible. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not commit sin Allaah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sin then pray for forgiveness.” Narrated by Muslim, 2749. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani.
By His mercy towards weak man, Allaah has opened the gate of repentance to him, and has commanded him to turn to Him, every time sin overwhelms him. Were it not for that, man would suffer a great deal of hardship and would not have the drive to draw closer to his Lord; he would lose all hope of His forgiveness and pardon. Repentance is something that is necessary as a result of man’s shortcomings and human failings.
Allaah has enjoined repentance on all kinds of people in this ummah: those who are foremost in good deeds, those who follow a middle course, and those who wrong their own selves by doing haraam things (cf. Faatir 35:32).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance!”
And the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people, repent to Allaah and seek His forgiveness, for I repent one hundred times a day.” Narrated by Muslim, 2702 from the hadeeth of al-Agharr al-Muzani (may Allaah be pleased with him).
Allaah has bestowed His mercy and encompassed His slaves with his kindness. He is Forbearing and does not punish us or destroy us straightaway, rather He gives us respite, and He commanded His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to proclaim His generosity:
“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Zumar 39:53 – interpretation of the meaning].
And He says, out of kindness towards His slaves (interpretation of the meaning):
“Will they not turn with repentance to Allaah and ask His forgiveness? For Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
“And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allaah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]
“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allaah’s forgiveness, he will find Allaah Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
Allaah calls to repentance those who committed the gravest form of shirk and sin, those who say that ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) is the son of God – exalted be Allaah far above what the wrongdoers say. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Will they not turn with repentance to Allaah and ask His forgiveness? For Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
And He opens the door of repentance to the hypocrites, who are worse than the kuffaar who openly show their kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire; no helper will you find for them.
146. Except those who repent (from hypocrisy), do righteous good deeds, hold fast to Allaah, and purify their religion for Allaah (by worshipping none but Allaah, and do good for Allaah’s sake only, not to show off), then they will be with the believers. And Allaah will grant the believers a great reward”
One of the attributes of the Lord is that He accepts repentance and rejoices over it by His grace. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do”
“Know they not that Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves and takes the Sadaqaat (alms, charity), and that Allaah Alone is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful?”
It was narrated that Abu Hamzah Anas ibn Maalik al-Ansaari (may Allaah be pleased with him), the servant of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave than any one of you who finds his camel after having lost it in a desolate land.” Agreed upon.
According to a report narrated by Muslim (2747): “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave than any one of you if he is on his camel in a desolate land, then it runs away from him and on it is his food and drink, and he despairs of finding it, so he goes to a tree and lies down in its shade, having despaired of finding his camel, then while he is like that, it suddenly appears in front of him and he takes hold of its reins and says, because of his intense joy, ‘O Allaah, You are my slave and I am your lord,’ making this mistake because of the intensity of his joy.”
It was narrated from Abu Moosa ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qays al-Ash’ari (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah spreads out His hand at night to accept the repentance of the one who sinned during the day, and He spreads out His hand by day to accept the repentance of the one who sinned during the night, (and that will continue) until the sun rises from the west.” Narrated by Muslim, 2759.
It was narrated from Abu ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will accept the repentance of His slave so long as the death-rattle has not yet reached his throat.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3537; classed as hasan by al-Albaani.
Secondly: The blessings of repentance come in this world and in the Hereafter, some are visible and some are hidden. The rewards of repentance are: purity of heart, erasing of sins and increasing of hasanaat (good deeds). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise) the Day that Allaah will not disgrace the Prophet (Muhammad) and those who believe with him. Their Light will run forward before them and (with their Records Books of deeds) in their right hands. They will say: ‘Our Lord! Keep perfect our Light for us [and do not put it off till we cross over the Siraat (a slippery bridge over the Hell) safely] and grant us forgiveness. Verily, You are Able to do all things’”
The reward of repentance is a good life in the shade of faith, contentment, peace of mind and tranquility. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance, that He may grant you good enjoyment, for a term appointed, and bestow His abounding Grace to every owner of grace (i.e. the one who helps and serves the needy and deserving, physically and with his wealth, and even with good words)”
The reward of repentance is blessings coming down from heaven, blessings coming from the earth, an increase in one’s wealth and offspring, blessings in productivity, good physical health and protection from diseases. Allaah says of Hood (peace be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning):
“And O my people! Ask forgiveness of your Lord and then repent to Him, He will send you (from the sky) abundant rain, and add strength to your strength, so do not turn away as Mujrimoon (criminals, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah)”
Thirdly: Everyone who repents to Allaah, Allaah accepts his repentance. The caravan of those who have repented to Allaah will not be interrupted until the sun rises from the west.
One repented from banditry, another from adultery, and others from drinking alcohol, taking drugs, severing the ties of kinship, not praying or being too lazy to pray in congregation, disobeying parents, dealing in riba (usury) and bribes, stealing, shedding blood, consuming people’s wealth unlawfully, or smoking. Anyone who repents to Allaah from any sin is to be congratulated, because it is as if they have been born anew through their sincere repentance.
It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed Sa’d ibn Maalik ibn Sinaan al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There was among the people who came before you a man who killed ninety-nine people. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth, and was directed to a hermit, so he went to him, told him that he had killed ninety-nine people, and asked if he could be forgiven. The hermit said, ‘No,’ so he killed him, thus completing one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth and was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people, and asked whether he could be forgiven. The scholar said, ‘Yes, what could possibly come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a town, for in it there are people who worship Allaah. Go and worship with them, and do not go back to your own town, for it is a bad place.” So the man set off, but when he was halfway there, the angel of death came to him, and the angels of mercy and the angels of wrath began to argue over him. The angels of mercy said: ‘He had repented and was seeking Allaah.’ The angels of wrath said: ‘He never did any good thing.’ An angel in human form came to them, and they asked him to decide the matter. He said: ‘Measure the distance between the two lands (his home town and the town he was headed for), and whichever of the two he is closest to is the one to which he belongs.’ So they measured the distance, and found that he was closer to the town for which he had been headed, so the angels of mercy took him.” (Agreed upon).
According to a version narrated by Muslim (2716): “He was closer to the righteous town by a handspan, so he was counted among its people.”
According to a version narrated by al-Bukhaari (3470): “Allaah commanded (the righteous town) to draw closer and (the evil town) to move away, and he said: “Measure the distance between them,’ and he was found to be closer to (the righteous town) by a handspan, so he was forgiven.”
According to a version narrated by Muslim: “He leaned with his chest towards it”.
What is meant by repentance is returning to Allaah, giving up sin and hating it, and regretting falling short in obedience to Allaah. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Repentance is essential from every sin, even if it is something between a person and Allaah and has nothing to do with the rights of another person. There are three conditions of repentance:
1- You should give up the sin
2- You should regret having done it
3- You should resolve never to go back to it.
If one of these three is missing, then your repentance is not sincere. If the sin has to do with the rights of another person, then there are four conditions: the three mentioned above and restoring the rights of that person. If it is money or property, etc, it must be returned to him; if it had to do with slandering him etc, then you should allow him to insult him in return, or ask for his forgiveness; if it had to do with backbiting about him, then you have to ask for his pardon. It is essential to repent from all sins; if a person repents from some, his repentance from the sins from which he repented is valid – according to the scholars who follow the right path – but he must still repent from the rest as well.
Based on the above, if these conditions are met by the person who is repenting, then there is the hope that his repentance will be accepted, by Allaah’s leave. After that he should not worry about waswaas (whispers) suggesting that his repentance is not accepted, because that is from the Shaytaan and is contrary to what Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have told us, that repentance is accepted if it is sincere.
Considering how you got your HIV, i.e through zinaa, why would you want to speak publicly about it? Allah has hidden your sin from your community so keep it that way. If you had contracted it in an innocent way due to contaminated blood during a transfusion, or simply being born with it for example then maybe you could speak out to educate people that some innocent people do get it as well because as most of us know it is MAINLY spread by promiscuity, drug use and the like.
If the scholars were to speak about it then they should be highlighting the effects of indulging in the forbidden and all those HIV negative should be listening and know to stay away because of the consequences of sin. Not using any one person in particular as this will be exposing the person but to mention there are some people amongst us with the disease etc and we should learn from their mistakes otherwise I do not see any purpose of mentioning it generally in a Jummah Khutbah for example. There is a lot of information out there for people who want to know about HIV/AIDS anyway and alhamdulillah in a majority Muslim societies these sort of illnesses, STD's/STI's are close to zero because Islam is a mercy to mankind and we followed it's true teachings of Islam we would not be in pitiful situations.
Rejection when one finds out you are HIV positive is a natural one, good health is one of those 'prized posessions' so I do not see why anyone would want to swap a healthy life for a dreadful illness which has no cure. Had it not been for the fact you are HIV+ there is no way you would have ever considering marrying someone with this disease so put yourself in other people's shoes.
Prophet said: "Do not (impose) harm, nor (inflect) harm". He also said: "And your body has a right upon you".the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (2341) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah. It says in al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (2/463): “
Ruling on marrying one’s daughter to an AIDS patient
Is it permissible to marry one’s daughter to an AIDS patient?
Praise be to Allaah.
He should not marry his daughter to him unless he has explained his situation and said, “I have such and such a disease.” Then if they agree to that, then that is fine, otherwise the marriage should not proceed, because if he conceals the matter from them he may have cheated them and deceived them, and the woman may pass the disease to her husband, or the husband may pass it to his wife, and to their children after that. But if she accepts you and agrees, and accepts the will and decree of Allaah, then that is OK
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
you can also read the following
Marrying Someone who is also HIV+
Having children when HIV+ is selfish because this will cause endless suffering to an innocent child who will also grow up stigmatised and may never find love through marriage and have his/her children and always has to rely on medication for the rest of their lives so i would definitely not advise it. Yes there are some children born without it but that is not in our control Allah does what he wants but as far as we are concerned if one is HIV+ their offspring will be HIV+ so prevention is always better than cure.
I used to say I would not go anywhere near someone who was HIV+ or had AIDS despite coming from a country with a very high infection rate, one of the highest in Southern Africa and my mum would say please don't say that because you never know it might happen to one of the family members because the is actually a saying in my home country that there is no family in the whole country which has not been touched by HIV/AIDS and guess what? Two of my brothers have it due to sleeping around and my nephew who is now 13 also has it and my love for them has not changed one bit. I feel sorry for my nephew and not my brothers because they made a choice to go and sleep around knowing their chances of contracting the disease were very high and my nephew didn't have that choice.
He has been on medication since he was diagnosed at the age of 5 because he had been a very sickly baby for a while and no one knew what was wrong until one doctor suggested he have an HIV test which came back positive and it was a huge blow to my life. Now that he is 13 the doctors have suggested he should be told and i definitely do not want to be the one to tell him this, my mum is struggling with this as well. His older brother has asked why his young brother always takes medication but it has been brushed aside but two young children are going to be badly affected by this when they do find out and these children are really close and love each other. My older nephew is always worried when his younger brother is in and out of hospital and it saddens me and evryone and the thing is all this from a person who chose to sleep around and not just affect his own life with HIV but we are all indirectly affected.
Even though my nephew was diagnosed it took a while for my brother to go for a test too because he was in denial but eventually he did and he is on medication too but he has not stopped sleeping around.
Anyway my family are not Muslim. I guess enough said.
May Allah forgive you brother
Well I find that people here really make up their own assumptions.
Apologies brother! i didnt mean to hurt you but you sound kind of self pity .
Allah has destined this day for you and may Allah give you health and jannah ameen.
what i meant is that we sholud not make this diseases something normal i dont know how i write my feelings but ..........brother i do apologize .
Firstly, I am sorry for your condition.
Secondly, I am glad that you realised your mistakes and you are repenting for it. It really takes courage and strength to do that. I hope Allah forgives you, and he certainly will, if you repent with a pure heart. Bro, my heart goes out to you. For the reason that, many people are impure and do things we are not supposed to do... I am one of them. But it takes substance and lots of perseverance to identify, accept, repent and if possible, rectify our mistakes.
I do not feel you are wrong... becz ur repenting and I am sure you can never go astray now.
I pray to Allah that your good wishes be fulfilled and may you have a blessed life...
Lets stop. The brother made a big mistake. He wants to go to the correct way. I have told him to do so means not to look back. He needs a family. He needs to find compassion in Islam. And Islam does provide compassion.
The duyna has betrayed him and left him alone. I do not mean to sound preachy but the story of Lot helps us at this point. Lot left and was told not to let anyone look back at what they had left. Allah subhana tall provided Lot's family with life. They moved on.
We have all sinned. I pray for forgiveness. I pray that Allah subhana tall hide my sin.
Brother forgive me if I have been harsh. I just want to let you know Islam is Love complete. Please give us a chance.
I find it perculiar that many people find it 'uncomfortable' acknowledging certain members of the community have specific diseases, does the same level of discomfort arise when it comes to engaging with people who drink alcohol, deal in drugs, corruption, lying, swearing, missing salah etc. When i read this post sounded like some of the posts were written by the Malikah. Always remember, the sahaba before, their community were like warloards, barbarians, so allah can and loves to forgive and guide any of his slaves who turns to him.
Inshallah TED, you could play a good role in giving dawah to others who you know that are in the similar situation. As for marriage whoever you propose to should know about your situation if they accept all the conditions then its cool, if not then its good to find someone who is in a similar situation ( that doesn't mean someone who has HIV), someone who can relate and is more understanding.
Apart from that, keep update with your health checks, keep active, stay positive, i bet i can find you loads of people/friends i know who are not HIV but are depressed and so forth, life goes on whether you got HIV, obese or simply have dandruff , so i hope to hear more from you on other topics.
Amir of SPain.
:salam2: For a moment i was speechless. Brother how can you think of marrying. Even if you use precaution it is not 100 % safe. She does have chances to get HIV. And how can she have a child without getting the infection. I hope you are healthy and just want to see the reaction of people. People with HIV even if they do take medication dont live more then 15-25 yrs.Since you have had this for 10yrs. You want the woman to be a widow after 10-15 yrs. I know life and death is in the hands of Allah but think isthis what you want for a person who would risk her life to be with you. It is being selfish. May Allah bless you with happiness and when yours or all muslim time comes to go may it be easy on us.
:salam2: brother amir. First of all i would like to say i am a sister. Yes it is between a man and a woman. But it is haram to knowingly put your body and life at risk. Life is one of the most beautiful gifts of Allah. And brother it is easier to give an advice then to allow ur sister to go ahead and marry. I understand the brother is sorry for what he did. It is a blessing that he is still alive to ask for forgiveness. He could have died an instant death doing all that he did. If i was in his place my mind would be will Allah forgive my sins. I would be worried that my end is near and have i asked for forgiveness and has it been accepted. That would be my worry not to marry and have kids. Also maybe it would be better for him to find a true partner in Jannah. I feel bad for the brother but i know about medicine and this is not some cough and cold. This is a dangerous disease.May Allah hide his secrets in the day of judgement.
:salam2: The brother said he want to make a documentary about this. This is almost like being proud of what one has done rather then feeling bad.I know i can give him a long lecture on Islam but i dont think he needs that. I feel the brother is lonely he just needs a friend. BUT wife no way i still say that.
My brothers and sisters..we have a Believer amongst us. He wishes to become a member of the Ummath. He has been honest with us. He makes dua to the All Compassionate One..and whatever is granted is an immediate Blessing.
And as the Brother suggested please let us more forward in an humble manner.
I agree, we should all try our best to be nice to each other and never put our fellow brothers down. May Allah ease your journey and all of journeys in this life Ted
wow you was so helpfull.
1) Reading your reply it seems you have never tasted true repentance. But Allah knows.
2) How do you know what is going on in his mind. Do you doubt his tawba just because he wants a wife like everyone....?
first of all thank you for bringing this topic up. Even it is uncomfortable to speak about it I think it is necessary.
If we claim to be one ummah we also have the responsibility to care for eachother. There are ppl in our ummah living with this disease.... And what will we do... ignore it....? Or maybe discuss about it if it is self-imposed or not. Let me tell you one thing: It is totally uniterresting for us to know wether it is self-imposed or not. It is Allah who´ll judge us and it is us to help and support eachother in good and bad times through life... or how do you define ummah?
Many Muslims like to quote Quranic ayat and hadiths about the unity... We´ve to let this ayat and hadiths also reach our hearts!
Back to the point... What can be done....?
How many brothers and sisters are suffering from this disease....?
What is the situation of our brothers/sisters in Iraq who was raped by US-soldiers....?
What can be done for them...
- May support them financially so that they can use all medical possibilities.
-Or just support them with siply nice brotherly words.... Just listen to their problems....
If our Imams run away from our problems just because it is unconfortable to them then they don´t deserve to be called our Imams.....!!!!
When I said "Unfortunately you're going to run into a lot of that" earlier on I meant on this forum. Even our Prophet - peace and blessing be upon him - didn't judge people as harshly as some of our brothers and sisters on TTI do.
I'm sorry if that offends folks but its the reason I rarely come to this site any more.
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