Is it possible to keep four wives?
- Thread starter sazk
- Start date
Salaam,
The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, took time to be joyous. So let us be kind to each other.
As we grow in age and hopefully with the blessings of Allah subhana talla love grows in our heart. We learn to forgive. We learn to appreciate the blessings we have been given and thus are able to let go of petty jealousy.
Were I twenty years old and with my husband..I would not release him for a nanosecond..age teaches us the facets of love and its eternal presentness ( hope this is a word)
The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, took time to be joyous. So let us be kind to each other.
As we grow in age and hopefully with the blessings of Allah subhana talla love grows in our heart. We learn to forgive. We learn to appreciate the blessings we have been given and thus are able to let go of petty jealousy.
Were I twenty years old and with my husband..I would not release him for a nanosecond..age teaches us the facets of love and its eternal presentness ( hope this is a word)
Hard Rock Moslem
I'm your brother
Brother, I know you were kidding. I've no issue. I also like to have football or hockey team consist of all my children... he he he...
BinteShafi
Left long ago
:salam2:
Take it easy on your brother sazk.. He means well..... When have we lost our sense of humor??!!
,
:salam2: brother,
I was trying to point our br sazk's response to sister Asja. I think it was pretty harsh....She also meant well. same message could be conveyed using better words.
You are right..."I might have lost my sense of humour".........I really did not enjoy the humour in the situation where you have asked a question and in response to that you have criticized one answer and given "Humouros Remarks" in response to others.
Lastly brother sazk very rarely starts his posts with Salam, so I was just trying to remind him.
I hope below ruling will help ... i just wonder why muslims these days are talking negative about polygamy.
Question:
Some men marry more than one woman out of pride or in order to compete with one another and due to a genuine need. Is such a thing permissible? And what is your advice to those men and women who object to plurality when there is a need for it?
Answer:
Marrying more than one wife is a desirable thing - on condition that the man has the financial means and the physical ability to act with justice between his wives. This is because through plurality of wives, good is acheived, such as protecting the private parts of the women who he marries (from illegal sexual intercourse) and broadening of unity between the people, and increasing the number of births, as indicated by the Prophet sallallaahu alahi wasallam:
'Marry loving, productive women.' (Abu Dawud 2050, An-Nasaai' 3229, Ibn Hibbaan 4028, & Ahmad 3/158-245)
It also contains many other benefits. As for a man marrying more than one wife out of pride and competitiveness, it is something which falls into the category of waste, which is not permitted. Allaah, the Most High says:
'Waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).' (Al-'Araaf 7:31)
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Fatawa Islamiyah, Darussalam, volume 5, page 355-356
Question:
Some men marry more than one woman out of pride or in order to compete with one another and due to a genuine need. Is such a thing permissible? And what is your advice to those men and women who object to plurality when there is a need for it?
Answer:
Marrying more than one wife is a desirable thing - on condition that the man has the financial means and the physical ability to act with justice between his wives. This is because through plurality of wives, good is acheived, such as protecting the private parts of the women who he marries (from illegal sexual intercourse) and broadening of unity between the people, and increasing the number of births, as indicated by the Prophet sallallaahu alahi wasallam:
'Marry loving, productive women.' (Abu Dawud 2050, An-Nasaai' 3229, Ibn Hibbaan 4028, & Ahmad 3/158-245)
It also contains many other benefits. As for a man marrying more than one wife out of pride and competitiveness, it is something which falls into the category of waste, which is not permitted. Allaah, the Most High says:
'Waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).' (Al-'Araaf 7:31)
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Fatawa Islamiyah, Darussalam, volume 5, page 355-356
sazk
Banned
i agree. a man can give shelter to a woman who needs it by marrying her and taking responsibility for her. if some the sisters against polygamy put themselves in the position of their other sisters who don't get married and understand their suffering then they would understand. what if Allah had made all the lucky sisters and mothers who got married, had Allah willing, made their position like those who cant get married? then they would switch their stance immediately!
ofcourse its always difficult for a woman to trust another woman but they must trust Allah rather than take somebody else as their Wali. and men need to fear Allah if they are to be just and fair. after all, it is they who have to answer to Allah for the responsibility given to them.
ofcourse its always difficult for a woman to trust another woman but they must trust Allah rather than take somebody else as their Wali. and men need to fear Allah if they are to be just and fair. after all, it is they who have to answer to Allah for the responsibility given to them.
Asja
Pearl of Islaam
:wasalam:
Brother Allah knows that my inentions are good Alhadmulillah,and I shared only a story and feeling one of the best women in history of Islam,Mashallah.It is a story about shame of Allah and two wifes,and Allah knows the best.
Do you think that Allah does not love more those who are the most modest and who are most shame of Him,SubhanAllah,and do you think that so piety women from Islamic history is saying wrong,and that you are right.Astagfirullah.
And brother you should always first call Salam to your brothers and sisters Alhamdulillah,and do you want to be categorises like the one who is not kind towerd his brothers and sisters???Astagfirullah.
May Allah subhan we tela guide you and all of us.
sazk
Banned
salam sister,
haha its ok. i know ur intentions were good. ofcourse you must understand that i came across these words myself when i had read the Quran myself. but at that time i had read the full verse. so when you wrote half a verse, it just seemed very 'twisted'. i hope you know what i am saying.
quoting half a verse creates a big problem. i see this here in the UK because when ppl talk to me about islam and womens rights and jihad etc, ofcourse they want to talk about what they have heard from the media. because they never read the Quran in their life! and how did the media mislead them originally? by quoting half verses and taking them out of context.
a good example is 4:3. the media (and its followers) say look here it says 'marry women of your choice; by two or three or four...' but you and i both know it goes on to say 'but if you cannot do justice then only one or that which your right hand possesses'.
if you look at the first message in the forum it clearly begins the question with ' I fear Allah...' so i placed Allah first and foremost so your answer made no sense even before you answered! how can a person forget Allah by having two wives when he is placing Allah first and foremost?
your answer would make sense if i hadn't said I fear Allah, but when a man is saying that, acknowledging that then how can you say that? that specific answer would only be correct if a man marries for lust and not spend time equally with all the wives. the answer does not fit automatically all situations. when you shop for apples, oranges are not perfect substitutes for them.
salam alaikum
haha its ok. i know ur intentions were good. ofcourse you must understand that i came across these words myself when i had read the Quran myself. but at that time i had read the full verse. so when you wrote half a verse, it just seemed very 'twisted'. i hope you know what i am saying.
quoting half a verse creates a big problem. i see this here in the UK because when ppl talk to me about islam and womens rights and jihad etc, ofcourse they want to talk about what they have heard from the media. because they never read the Quran in their life! and how did the media mislead them originally? by quoting half verses and taking them out of context.
a good example is 4:3. the media (and its followers) say look here it says 'marry women of your choice; by two or three or four...' but you and i both know it goes on to say 'but if you cannot do justice then only one or that which your right hand possesses'.
if you look at the first message in the forum it clearly begins the question with ' I fear Allah...' so i placed Allah first and foremost so your answer made no sense even before you answered! how can a person forget Allah by having two wives when he is placing Allah first and foremost?
your answer would make sense if i hadn't said I fear Allah, but when a man is saying that, acknowledging that then how can you say that? that specific answer would only be correct if a man marries for lust and not spend time equally with all the wives. the answer does not fit automatically all situations. when you shop for apples, oranges are not perfect substitutes for them.
salam alaikum
sazk
Banned
and the reason why i didn't say salaam the second time is that i already said it in the beginning of the forum. when i come to the forum i say salaam and then i am already on it. when i m sitting on the forum i dont need to say it again n again.
when you sit down and talk to someone, do you say salaam before every sentence?
this is a conversation going on, i m 'sitting' in the forum i've already said salaam once so why do i need to say it again n again? does that make sense to you? ofcourse when i log off n log on back again i ALWAYS say salaam. that is my habit. to start in the forum with salam. but when i m already in here, talking, i dont need to start every sentence with salaam. that would be like you saying salaam at the start of every sentence. so please dont try to 'cherry pick' accusations.
when you sit down and talk to someone, do you say salaam before every sentence?
this is a conversation going on, i m 'sitting' in the forum i've already said salaam once so why do i need to say it again n again? does that make sense to you? ofcourse when i log off n log on back again i ALWAYS say salaam. that is my habit. to start in the forum with salam. but when i m already in here, talking, i dont need to start every sentence with salaam. that would be like you saying salaam at the start of every sentence. so please dont try to 'cherry pick' accusations.
Salaam,
I am now thoroughly confused. I reread the incident between the two women. Islam is not a faith of asceticism. And the use of the word shame has me very puzzled. There is a fine line between being selfish and sharing. If a person is Sufi they may wish to remove themselves from the desires of this duyna. They do not have to accept the responsibilities of this life. That is the closest to asceticism that I have found in Islam.
Marriage enables a person to live in an Islamic way. Polygamy strengthens the community. Families are never lonely. There are safeguards to protect children. If one looks at divorce rates they traditionally occur for men in middle age. Men tire of their wives and start looking. Men like younger women. It is a fact. I am not going to give anyone a psycho-social lecture..but polygamy starts making sense.
I am lost as to the shame. Intimacy is more than being physical. So here I go again. Let us not dwell on the physical. Like love..intimacy is a component of love. When we pray we are being intimate with our Creator. Our faith gives us the courage to pray. We go before our Creator knowing He Loves us.
I hope I did not stray.
I am now thoroughly confused. I reread the incident between the two women. Islam is not a faith of asceticism. And the use of the word shame has me very puzzled. There is a fine line between being selfish and sharing. If a person is Sufi they may wish to remove themselves from the desires of this duyna. They do not have to accept the responsibilities of this life. That is the closest to asceticism that I have found in Islam.
Marriage enables a person to live in an Islamic way. Polygamy strengthens the community. Families are never lonely. There are safeguards to protect children. If one looks at divorce rates they traditionally occur for men in middle age. Men tire of their wives and start looking. Men like younger women. It is a fact. I am not going to give anyone a psycho-social lecture..but polygamy starts making sense.
I am lost as to the shame. Intimacy is more than being physical. So here I go again. Let us not dwell on the physical. Like love..intimacy is a component of love. When we pray we are being intimate with our Creator. Our faith gives us the courage to pray. We go before our Creator knowing He Loves us.
I hope I did not stray.
sazk
Banned
my elder sister,
your words are very confusing. what is this 'love' that you speak of? what exactly is love? usually when my professors and i talk: they speak about love for Allah, i tell them i dont know what love is, but i know what fear is, and i fear Allah. i fear His punishment. but i dont feel any love towards Him. i cant help it. i just fear Him i dont love Him. one professor (he is an aalim) told me that to fear Allah is to love Him. is this true?
your words are very confusing. what is this 'love' that you speak of? what exactly is love? usually when my professors and i talk: they speak about love for Allah, i tell them i dont know what love is, but i know what fear is, and i fear Allah. i fear His punishment. but i dont feel any love towards Him. i cant help it. i just fear Him i dont love Him. one professor (he is an aalim) told me that to fear Allah is to love Him. is this true?
I do fear Allah; hence I try so hard to not sin... On the other hand, I do feel the LOVE for Allah. I love Allah when I look at my 6 year old boy; then I thank Him for granting me my son. This is just an example to convey why I love Allah.
Brother sazk.. All you have to do is look at the various gifts that Allah has showered you with.. Then come back and repeat your sentence in red above. If you can repeat it, then I think I am going to start questioning your logic from now on.... LOL
.
. its not something a person can be forced to do. my obedience to Him is out of fear, not love. i dont know if that is the same thing.
sazk
Banned
i think i am safe because after all the Quran says again n again fear Me, those who fear their Rabb unseen; theirs is an ajrun azeem, dont take shayateen as your auliya but fear Me if you are momineen etc.
so i dont think i m doing anything wrong here. I didn't find any verse that said love Me, it only said fear Me. my interpretation may be wrong but i dont think the arabic word for 'love' appeared for the muslims. i may be wrong but i dont recall any command saying that a muslim should be a 'habib'. please do correct me if i am wrong brother BigAk. i dont want any misconception in my understanding
so i dont think i m doing anything wrong here. I didn't find any verse that said love Me, it only said fear Me. my interpretation may be wrong but i dont think the arabic word for 'love' appeared for the muslims. i may be wrong but i dont recall any command saying that a muslim should be a 'habib'. please do correct me if i am wrong brother BigAk. i dont want any misconception in my understanding
Salaam,
What is this love. How is this love different from the Hollywood love. Why do we not need to be recognized for this love.
Brother..this Love is the totality of life. This love that I speak about is simply put the total acceptance of this life. This love allows us not to worry. This Love keep us sane in a world that is insane. This Love redirects us to Allah's Will at all times. It gives us answers to life's puzzles.
How do you recognize your Love for Allah. You recognize it by becoming the mirror of Love. Allah subhana talla is Love. When you mention His Holy Names your heart settles down. When you get up from salat you have more energy and peace; that is Love. When you see a drop of rain on a flower petal..you recognize the perfection of the universe. When you gaze into the eyes of your spouse and they accept you including your imperfections and are happy that is Love. When your children announce that they are home from school that is Love.
It is Love that you would ask me a profound question.
My favorite ayats from the Quran describe this Love:
Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The similitude of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp. The lamp is in a glass. The glass is as it were a shining star. (This lamp is) kindled from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the East nor of the West, whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself) though no fire touched it. Light upon light. Allah guideth unto His light whom He will. And Allah setteth forth for mankind similitude's, for Allah is Knower of all things. (35) (This lamp is found) in houses which Allah hath allowed to be exalted and that His name shall be remembered therein. Therein do offer praise to Him at morn and evening. (36) Men whom neither merchandise nor sale beguileth from remembrance of Allah and constancy in prayer and paying to the poor their due; who fear a day when hearts and eyeballs will be overturned; (37) That Allah may reward them with the best of what they did, and increase reward for them of His bounty. Allah giveth blessings without stint to whom He will. Sura Al-Nur.
This lamp is in my heart. My life is an attribute of Love. He gave me life with His purpose. He blessed me with numerous blessings..so many that I can not enumerate.
Forgive me for going on and on. But the Love of Allah grows in your heart..you must make dua and be very compelling. You must beg Allah subhana talla. Our Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, made dua for this very reason.
I fear I have written too much. May Allah forgive me if I have written anything wrong.
What is this love. How is this love different from the Hollywood love. Why do we not need to be recognized for this love.
Brother..this Love is the totality of life. This love that I speak about is simply put the total acceptance of this life. This love allows us not to worry. This Love keep us sane in a world that is insane. This Love redirects us to Allah's Will at all times. It gives us answers to life's puzzles.
How do you recognize your Love for Allah. You recognize it by becoming the mirror of Love. Allah subhana talla is Love. When you mention His Holy Names your heart settles down. When you get up from salat you have more energy and peace; that is Love. When you see a drop of rain on a flower petal..you recognize the perfection of the universe. When you gaze into the eyes of your spouse and they accept you including your imperfections and are happy that is Love. When your children announce that they are home from school that is Love.
It is Love that you would ask me a profound question.
My favorite ayats from the Quran describe this Love:
Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The similitude of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp. The lamp is in a glass. The glass is as it were a shining star. (This lamp is) kindled from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the East nor of the West, whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself) though no fire touched it. Light upon light. Allah guideth unto His light whom He will. And Allah setteth forth for mankind similitude's, for Allah is Knower of all things. (35) (This lamp is found) in houses which Allah hath allowed to be exalted and that His name shall be remembered therein. Therein do offer praise to Him at morn and evening. (36) Men whom neither merchandise nor sale beguileth from remembrance of Allah and constancy in prayer and paying to the poor their due; who fear a day when hearts and eyeballs will be overturned; (37) That Allah may reward them with the best of what they did, and increase reward for them of His bounty. Allah giveth blessings without stint to whom He will. Sura Al-Nur.
This lamp is in my heart. My life is an attribute of Love. He gave me life with His purpose. He blessed me with numerous blessings..so many that I can not enumerate.
Forgive me for going on and on. But the Love of Allah grows in your heart..you must make dua and be very compelling. You must beg Allah subhana talla. Our Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, made dua for this very reason.
I fear I have written too much. May Allah forgive me if I have written anything wrong.
Asja
Pearl of Islaam
Allaicomu Salam brother.
Alhamdulillah that my intentions are good brother,and Allah knows the best,and Alhamdulillah my answer have a sense,and Inhsallah reasonable people and the ones who Love Allah will understand not only those who only fear of Allah AStagfirullah.May Allah guide us all.
It is not always understanding by mind but also with heart.SubhanAllah it is remaning me on atheist who are thinking only with mind,and with thier own wishes,but if they have heart,soul,shame they would not think like that Inshallah.
Alhadmulillah Allah alowed to Muslim man to marry more than one wife,BUT Allah loves more those who are modest and who are more shame of him,and those who are not seperated from Allah with two wifes or more.
Inshallah I will give example with Allahs will.
There was one man who was very pious,and he made him selfe a house where he lived alone,only worshiping to Allah subhan we tela,.He did not had not even one wife,and he did not had childrens,he was spening all days only worshiping to Allah subahn we tela.So he was not seprearted from Allah on any way,and SubhanAllah that is better for Allah than those who are married with more than one wife SubhanAllah,and Allah loves Him more,because this man is not seperated from Allah on any way.
Holy Maryam spent all her life worshiping to Allah and she also did not marry and she was not seperated with anything of her Lord,and that is the reason why Allah gave her high place like The best women in Islam SubahnAllah,and like the most pure One.
It does not metter if you fear Allah subahn we tela and if Alah is only on your first place,Mashallah it is correct,but it is metter that you will be more seperated from Your Lord,which is wrong.
But Alhamdulillah not all Muslims are the same,and not all Muslims are the same infront of Allah,and not all Muslims will be the same neer to Allah on the this world and on onother world.!!!
May Allah guide you brother.
:salam2:
i hope this helps towards understanding the concept of Love of the divine....
islamqa.com
When does the love of Allaah save a person from punishment?
Will a person who loves Allaah enter Hell? There are many kuffaar such as Jews and Christians who love Allaah, and similarly there are immoral Muslims who love Allaah. They would never say that they hate their Lord. Can you clarify this matter?
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said regarding this matter:
There are four kinds of love, which we must differentiate between, and those who go astray do so because they do not make this distinction. The first of them is love of Allaah, but this alone is not sufficient to save a person from the punishment of Allaah and to earn him His reward. The Mushrikeen, worshippers of the cross, Jews and others all love Allaah. The second is love of that which Allaah loves. This is what brings a person into Islam and out of Kufr. The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who is most correct and most devoted in this kind of love. The third kind is love for the sake of Allaah, which is one of the essentials of loving that which Allaah loves. A person’s love of that which Allaah loves cannot be complete until he also loves for the sake of Allaah. The fourth is love for something alongside Allaah, and this love has to do with shirk. Everyone who loves things alongside Allaah but not for the sake of Allaah has taken that thing as a rival to Allaah. This is the love of the Mushrikeen. There remains a fifth kind of love which has nothing to do with our topic; this is the natural love which is a person’s inclination towards that which suits his nature, such as the love of a thirsty person for water or of a hungry person for food, or the love of sleep, or of one’s wife and children. There is nothing wrong with this unless it distracts a person from remembering Allaah and keeps him from loving Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Munaafiqoon 63:9]
“Men whom neither trade nor sale (business) diverts from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Noor 24:37]
(Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, 1/134)
And he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):
The difference between loving for the sake of Allaah and loving something alongside Allaah is one of the most important distinctions. Everyone needs to make this distinction and is indeed obliged to do so. Loving for the sake of Allaah is a sign of the perfection of faith, but loving something alongside Allaah is the essence of shirk. The difference between them is that a person’s love for the sake of Allaah is connected to his love of Allaah; if this love becomes strong in his heart, this love dictates that he will love that which Allaah loves. If he loves that which his Lord loves and he loves those who are the friends of Allaah, this is love for the sake of Allaah. So he loves His Messengers, Prophets, angels and close friends because Allaah loves them, and he hates those who hate them because Allaah hates those people. The sign of the love and hatred for the sake of Allaah is that his hatred for the one whom Allaah hates will not turn into love merely because that person treats him kindly, does him a service or meets some need he has; and his love for those whom Allaah loves will not turn to hatred simply because that person does something that upsets or hurts him, whether it is done by mistake or deliberately, in obedience to Allaah or because the person feels that he has a duty to do it for some reason, or because the person is a wrongdoer who may yet give up his wrongdoing and repent. The entire religion revolves around four principles: love and hatred, and stemming from them, action and abstinence. The person whose love and hatred, action and abstinence, are all for the sake of Allaah, has perfected his faith so that when he loves, he loves for the sake of Allaah, when he hates, he hates for the sake of Allaah, when he does something, he does it for the sake of Allaah, and when he abstains from something, he abstains for the sake of Allaah. To the extent that he is lacking in these four categories, he is lacking in faith and commitment to religion. This is in contrast to the love of things alongside Allaah, which is of two types. One is diametrically opposed to the principle of Tawheed and is shirk; the other is opposed to perfection of sincerity and love towards Allaah, but does not put a person beyond the pale of Islam.
The first kind is like the love of the Mushrikeen for their idols and gods. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allaah as rivals (to Allaah). They love them as they love Allaah” [al-Baqarah 2:165]
These Mushrikeen love their idols and gods alongside Allaah as they love Allaah. This love and devotion is accompanied by fear, hope, worship and supplication. This love is pure Shirk which Allaah does not forgive. Faith cannot be perfected unless a person regards these idols as enemies and hates them intensely, and hates the people who worship them, and regards them as enemies and strives against them. This is the message with which Allaah sent all His Messengers and revealed all His Books. He created Hell for the people of shirk who love these rivals, and He created Paradise for those who strive against them and take them as enemies for His sake and to earn His Pleasure. Anybody who worships anything from the vicinity of the Throne to the lowest depths of the earth and takes a god and a supporter besides Allaah and associates another beings in worship with Him, will be disowned by the object of his worship when he is most in need of it [i.e., on the Day of Judgement].
The second kind is love for the things which Allaah has made attractive to people, such as women, children, gold, silver, branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. People love them with a kind of desire, like the love of the hungry person for food and the thirsty person for water. This love is of three kinds. If a person loves them for the sake of Allaah and as a means of obeying Allaah, he will be rewarded for that; it will be counted as a part of love for the sake of Allaah and a means of reaching Him, and he will still find enjoyment in them. This is how the best of creation [i.e. the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] was, to whom women and perfume were made dear in this world, and his love for them helped him to love Allaah more and to convey His Message and fulfil His commands. If a person loves them because they suit his nature and his own desires, but he does not give them preference over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, and he gets them because of his natural inclination, then they come under the heading of things which are permissible, and he will not be punished for that, but his love of Allaah and for the sake of Allaah will be lacking somewhat. If his sole purpose in life is to get these things, and he gives priority to that over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, then he is wronging himself and following his own desires.
The first is the love of al-Saabiqoon (those who are foremost in Islam); the second is the love of al-muqtasidoon (those who are average) and the third is the love of al-zaalimoon (the wrongdoers).
Al-Rooh by Ibn al-Qayyim, 1/254.
May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
i hope this helps towards understanding the concept of Love of the divine....
islamqa.com
When does the love of Allaah save a person from punishment?
Will a person who loves Allaah enter Hell? There are many kuffaar such as Jews and Christians who love Allaah, and similarly there are immoral Muslims who love Allaah. They would never say that they hate their Lord. Can you clarify this matter?
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said regarding this matter:
There are four kinds of love, which we must differentiate between, and those who go astray do so because they do not make this distinction. The first of them is love of Allaah, but this alone is not sufficient to save a person from the punishment of Allaah and to earn him His reward. The Mushrikeen, worshippers of the cross, Jews and others all love Allaah. The second is love of that which Allaah loves. This is what brings a person into Islam and out of Kufr. The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who is most correct and most devoted in this kind of love. The third kind is love for the sake of Allaah, which is one of the essentials of loving that which Allaah loves. A person’s love of that which Allaah loves cannot be complete until he also loves for the sake of Allaah. The fourth is love for something alongside Allaah, and this love has to do with shirk. Everyone who loves things alongside Allaah but not for the sake of Allaah has taken that thing as a rival to Allaah. This is the love of the Mushrikeen. There remains a fifth kind of love which has nothing to do with our topic; this is the natural love which is a person’s inclination towards that which suits his nature, such as the love of a thirsty person for water or of a hungry person for food, or the love of sleep, or of one’s wife and children. There is nothing wrong with this unless it distracts a person from remembering Allaah and keeps him from loving Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Munaafiqoon 63:9]
“Men whom neither trade nor sale (business) diverts from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Noor 24:37]
(Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, 1/134)
And he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):
The difference between loving for the sake of Allaah and loving something alongside Allaah is one of the most important distinctions. Everyone needs to make this distinction and is indeed obliged to do so. Loving for the sake of Allaah is a sign of the perfection of faith, but loving something alongside Allaah is the essence of shirk. The difference between them is that a person’s love for the sake of Allaah is connected to his love of Allaah; if this love becomes strong in his heart, this love dictates that he will love that which Allaah loves. If he loves that which his Lord loves and he loves those who are the friends of Allaah, this is love for the sake of Allaah. So he loves His Messengers, Prophets, angels and close friends because Allaah loves them, and he hates those who hate them because Allaah hates those people. The sign of the love and hatred for the sake of Allaah is that his hatred for the one whom Allaah hates will not turn into love merely because that person treats him kindly, does him a service or meets some need he has; and his love for those whom Allaah loves will not turn to hatred simply because that person does something that upsets or hurts him, whether it is done by mistake or deliberately, in obedience to Allaah or because the person feels that he has a duty to do it for some reason, or because the person is a wrongdoer who may yet give up his wrongdoing and repent. The entire religion revolves around four principles: love and hatred, and stemming from them, action and abstinence. The person whose love and hatred, action and abstinence, are all for the sake of Allaah, has perfected his faith so that when he loves, he loves for the sake of Allaah, when he hates, he hates for the sake of Allaah, when he does something, he does it for the sake of Allaah, and when he abstains from something, he abstains for the sake of Allaah. To the extent that he is lacking in these four categories, he is lacking in faith and commitment to religion. This is in contrast to the love of things alongside Allaah, which is of two types. One is diametrically opposed to the principle of Tawheed and is shirk; the other is opposed to perfection of sincerity and love towards Allaah, but does not put a person beyond the pale of Islam.
The first kind is like the love of the Mushrikeen for their idols and gods. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allaah as rivals (to Allaah). They love them as they love Allaah” [al-Baqarah 2:165]
These Mushrikeen love their idols and gods alongside Allaah as they love Allaah. This love and devotion is accompanied by fear, hope, worship and supplication. This love is pure Shirk which Allaah does not forgive. Faith cannot be perfected unless a person regards these idols as enemies and hates them intensely, and hates the people who worship them, and regards them as enemies and strives against them. This is the message with which Allaah sent all His Messengers and revealed all His Books. He created Hell for the people of shirk who love these rivals, and He created Paradise for those who strive against them and take them as enemies for His sake and to earn His Pleasure. Anybody who worships anything from the vicinity of the Throne to the lowest depths of the earth and takes a god and a supporter besides Allaah and associates another beings in worship with Him, will be disowned by the object of his worship when he is most in need of it [i.e., on the Day of Judgement].
The second kind is love for the things which Allaah has made attractive to people, such as women, children, gold, silver, branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. People love them with a kind of desire, like the love of the hungry person for food and the thirsty person for water. This love is of three kinds. If a person loves them for the sake of Allaah and as a means of obeying Allaah, he will be rewarded for that; it will be counted as a part of love for the sake of Allaah and a means of reaching Him, and he will still find enjoyment in them. This is how the best of creation [i.e. the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] was, to whom women and perfume were made dear in this world, and his love for them helped him to love Allaah more and to convey His Message and fulfil His commands. If a person loves them because they suit his nature and his own desires, but he does not give them preference over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, and he gets them because of his natural inclination, then they come under the heading of things which are permissible, and he will not be punished for that, but his love of Allaah and for the sake of Allaah will be lacking somewhat. If his sole purpose in life is to get these things, and he gives priority to that over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, then he is wronging himself and following his own desires.
The first is the love of al-Saabiqoon (those who are foremost in Islam); the second is the love of al-muqtasidoon (those who are average) and the third is the love of al-zaalimoon (the wrongdoers).
Al-Rooh by Ibn al-Qayyim, 1/254.
May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid