Why 2nd wife?

[eemaan1]

:salam2:

say what?

sorry i aint havin it...

how many men do u think want to marry a disabled woman, a single mother with loads of children etc out of the goodness of his heart?!!! none, zero, zilch! call me a cynic but a man who wants to marry a 2nd wife in this society we liv in will probably do it out of his own lecherous desires and probably will forget all about the 1st one n her kids!

wassalam

 

[Globalpeace]

W-Salam,

Negative dude!

If I EVER take a 2nd wife; it will be based on my formula which is on some post on TTI, i.e.

The need for taking a 2nd wife MUST exceed the combined needs of my wife + kids!

:salam2:

say what?

sorry i aint havin it...

how many men do u think want to marry a disabled woman, a single mother with loads of children etc out of the goodness of his heart?!!! none, zero, zilch! call me a cynic but a man who wants to marry a 2nd wife in this society we liv in will probably do it out of his own lecherous desires and probably will forget all about the 1st one n her kids!

wassalam

 

[Globalpeace]

Affect of chemicals!

W-Salam,

Told ya all those chemicals will have a long-term affect.

You have spent tooo long in the labs!

:salam2:

I knw this sounds really weird to some of you but I wouldnt have a problem with my husband taking another wife.

If I was in a situation where I was treated fairly and respected and happy then why cant i wish that for my sister??

If there was a sister struggling and at risk I would sooner my husband marry her and keep her safe then her suffering and unpleasant things happening to her.

Marriage isnt just about love, and theres nothing wrong with wanting for someone else something you would want or have yourself.

 

[Ali baba]

Reply

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Raheem, in a way, I have to agree with you about suffering, if the sister is suffering and is at risk, but not necessarily does it always work this way. Some sisters do not agree with this idea especially if the husband wants to take another just for wanting another wife. After 28 years of marriage, how would you feel? As for me, I love my husband dearly and I dont think I could share him with another sister only because we have been too long together and shared many beautiful and wonderful things together and we have three children. Allah gave us this opportunity to share this temporary life together and to love one another. Only he could decide for us. Inshallah, I want to grow old with my husband and see our grandchildren together. It means alot to me that I can thank Allah for this wonderful opportunity and to guide us together always to the right path which is Islam.:tti_sister:

 

[sugarbb]

Assalammualaikum brother & sister,

Very interesting ! Are we supposed to love another human beings more than Allah ? If a husband can fulfill the conditions like he is pious, financially secured, capable of being fair to both. Are we suppose to love him more than Allah ? If Allah says he can, who am i to say , you can't. I am only His slave.
It takes a lot of courage & real understanding to let a husband take a second wife but if that can make you closer to enter jannah, why not ? Ultimately our aim is to be in jannah, InsyaAllah. That is why it is not easy for women, in general, to accept another sister(a 2nd wife). It is in itself a test to our faith. If so, tawakal ilallah. Love for Allah comes first.

 

[melissa123]

It also saves sisters from having to marry unemployed bums (in the American sense) like me

haha this is funny brother

 

[justoneofmillion]

:salam2:


they do!!! man i hate that stuff! and loads of sisters agree with me!

yeah why not? why dont u ask all the islamic universities that dont allow women in? aswell as that, ask those that do allow women in that have less than half the faculties for women than they do for men.

its real bad that islam is not accessable to the sisters in the same way as it is to brothers its a problem, i seriously believe that many brothers have this crazy idea that they have mental supremacy over the faith than sisters do or assume sisters are just too stupid to learn the deen at the same level, take al-azhar for example; 6 different faculties for theology for bothers but not a single one for the sisters.

seriously brother, the Quran can be applied for all times cant it? the verses of the Quran are just as valid as they were 1400+ years ago as they are now, so this ayah:

And when the female infant buried alive is questioned, for what crime she was killed?
- Al Qur'an 81:8-9​

i see it different, there are more than one way of 'burying' sisters alive nowadays and sadly it is done intellectually, i reckon that the brothers are afraid of sisters being better than them in religious studies and stuff, but the facts speak for themselves, one of the greatest scholars of islam was Aisha (ra) and she never, not once mistakenly related a hadith and there were numerous men from the Sahaba who did.



yeah its sick, but its sick at both extremes of the spectrum, theres exploitation like uve described ^ and thats one extreme i agree, but there is another extreme wich comes from applying islam 50% and then improvising the rest in order to maintain this man made psychological hegemony over the faith.

sorry off topic. i dont know bout polygamy, but i think the sunnah doesnt just stop at taking the second wife, the sunnah is also in how shes treated and if u cant implement the full sunnah, then dont attempt at half or a third of it cos otherwise its distorted islam which...is not islam! lol i dont know

wassalam

assalam,i agree didn`t say all but we need more inschallah it is vital for the ummah:shake:

wassalam

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

say what?

sorry i aint havin it...

how many men do u think want to marry a disabled woman, a single mother with loads of children etc out of the goodness of his heart?!!! none, zero, zilch! call me a cynic but a man who wants to marry a 2nd wife in this society we liv in will probably do it out of his own lecherous desires and probably will forget all about the 1st one n her kids!

wassalam

thats so not true for all! ^ that is beyond the pale ) funny though)

Polygamy came about properly after the battle of Uhud when so many men lost their lives and alot of women had lost their husbands, in Islam it isnt like it is with mormons with this sicko opinion of men, its more of like to improve and strengthen the communities and to increase ties between the sisters aswell, women can be insanely jealous and obsessive and polygamy improves their character (inshallah) and it upholds the spirit of islam which is wanting the same for other muslims as u want for ureselves like amyaishazouaoui said so. i cannot think all that badly of muslim brothers tbh. theyre not (supposed to be ) like the non-muslims like emaan1 has described. and its properly unfair to think that they are no better.

wasalam

oh yeah

assalam,i agree didn`t say all but we need more inschallah it is vital for the ummah

yeah i knew u would agree, im not stupid enough to argue the opposite with u brother

wasalam

 

[muslima_1]

Lol!!

I can almost imagine how the general conversation would progress. Something like:

Husband: AND :blackhijab: ???

UmmOf3/muslima_1: ?!?!!

Husband: ...

UmmOf3/muslima_1: :angryred: %^@*(!@

Husband:

UmmOf3/muslima_1: :tantrum1:

Husband:

UmmOf3/mulisma_1:

Conversation Over.


Lol. Jokes jokes .... I'm just kidding big sisters. Salam alaikum.

thats more like it.. lol... give me a break though we've been married almost a year now and i'm 20 so i think it is little too early! don't you think? maybe when we get older but on a second thought.. nah.. i'm keeping things the way they are....

 

[muslima_1]

:salam2:

say what?

sorry i aint havin it...

how many men do u think want to marry a disabled woman, a single mother with loads of children etc out of the goodness of his heart?!!! none, zero, zilch! call me a cynic but a man who wants to marry a 2nd wife in this society we liv in will probably do it out of his own lecherous desires and probably will forget all about the 1st one n her kids!

wassalam

unfortunatelly that is true, very few men would marry 2nd wife on the grounds of helping her, they get married most of the time out of their desires and what happens to 1st wife? let just say she is not as desired as she was before, and most likely forgotten (almost all the time).
so the very few guys that are helping other women by marrying them please be fair to all of them and the majority of you that are marrying out of your desires i think you should stick with one wife.( thats just my opinion) no need to get mad at me..lol.

 

[alkathiri]

unfortunatelly that is true, very few men would marry 2nd wife on the grounds of helping her, .

I would but that is if my future wife agrees

 

[alkathiri]

W-Salam,

Negative dude!

If I EVER take a 2nd wife; it will be based on my formula which is on some post on TTI, i.e.

The need for taking a 2nd wife MUST exceed the combined needs of my wife + kids!

What formula is that!!!!?? :angryblue:

Jokes aside: But i agree with you..... :mashallah:

 

[dna1987]

thats more like it.. lol... give me a break though we've been married almost a year now and i'm 20 so i think it is little too early! don't you think? maybe when we get older but on a second thought.. nah.. i'm keeping things the way they are....

you never know, you might change your mind in 5 or 6 years time Who knows. (well, Allah knows). Salam alaikum.

 

[Dogu_kizi]

:salam2: brothers & sisters
I think in order to be 2nd wife or to accept 2nd or 3,4 wife of husband,being his wife depends on how strong woman`s iman is, thoug I know that husband is not a "thing" that can be shared,but if he wants to do it only for a sake of Allah,I think woman should accept it
I know may be it looks crazy...but that`s just my opinion

 

[Ummzaina]

:salam2: brothers & sisters
I think in order to be 2nd wife or to accept 2nd or 3,4 wife of husband,being his wife depends on how strong woman`s iman is, thoug I know that husband is not a "thing" that can be shared,but if he wants to do it only for a sake of Allah,I think woman should accept it
I know may be it looks crazy...but that`s just my opinion

Assalaam alaikum,
Hasnt anyone thought of husbands Eaman??LOL.
It is not only of sisters accepting but husbands willing to jump into a marriage where he has to halve everything (time,money,love etc)
R u brothers ready for it?? Even if i said I would accept when the time comes, does not mean that either me or my husband is thinking of another wife.It is just a thought that when the time comes we should be ready to accept.Who knows what Allah has in store for us tomorrow.Insha Allah we'll be ready to face whatever it may be.

 

[Dogu_kizi]

Assalaam alaikum,
Hasnt anyone thought of husbands Eaman??LOL.
It is not only of sisters accepting but husbands willing to jump into a marriage where he has to halve everything (time,money,love etc)
R u brothers ready for it?? Even if i said I would accept when the time comes, does not mean that either me or my husband is thinking of another wife.It is just a thought that when the time comes we should be ready to accept.Who knows what Allah has in store for us tomorrow.Insha Allah we'll be ready to face whatever it may be.

:salam2: sis,of course husband`s choice of wives should be acoording to shariah,not coz one`s 1 st wife is already "old",and he wants taste "smth" new....But to be honest,I`ve never seen or heard about anyone married 2nd or 3d wife because of that women was widowed,divorced etc. But I believe that there must be men who really did it by following Quran & Sunnah.
U know ppl of some countries,being muslims, are ashamed to take a widowed or divorced woman,with the kids,only because that`s kind a national traditions...but that`s completely wrong,I hate that
And I`m surely agree with u that we`ll ready to face whatever Allah prepared for us,inshaAllah,may Allah give us patience,iman and grand us paradise:tti_sister:

 

[junaid hasan]

there is a funny story. one day a sheikh was telling that three is was beloved by prophet (sw)and those three things was: parfüm , his wife and to pray.
then a person said that : ohh shiekh i love also 2 things which was beloved by prophet(sw) and those those 2 things are parfüm and my wife.to pray is not so much beloved by me.

now a days it is the position of muslims. prophet (sw) married some woman who were widow or or. but now a days even big shiekhs dont want to marry a widow or bad looking girl. one time a mufti saab was telling me for searching a good girl. then i told him that i have a aunty who is widow or divorced.then he told me : no, no search for me a 18 years old good girl. though he had allready a wife who is alse near 18.

if a person are really eager to practise this sunnah then he should also follow how prophet (sw) did it. was he married 2 virgin girl?
as long as i know may be only ayesha(rw) was virgin or i mean she was first married to prophet (sw) and other wives were widow or divorced.

now a days how many people are ready to marry widow or divorced woman only for sake of allah?

 

[ditta]

Asalamu Alykum,

Exactly. If i was in the situation where my future wife Inshallah knew a widow or divorcee and was in need of help, then i would suggest the idea of this. Although if it was just out my interest, then that would be wrong. And in some ways like you suggested it would be wrong if i decided i needed a 2nd wife who was a virgin.

Therefore in my view its only right if the wife agrees and the 2nd wife is either divorced or a widow. If the wife says no the first time it would be wrong to push it as it would affect your marriage. Plus i dont think these things happen early in marriage anyway, once you build the foundations of your house and start decorating it, will you be able to consider something like this. Just a personal opinion as it could cause friction.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam

there is a funny story. one day a sheikh was telling that three is was beloved by prophet (sw)and those three things was: parfüm , his wife and to pray.
then a person said that : ohh shiekh i love also 2 things which was beloved by prophet(sw) and those those 2 things are parfüm and my wife.to pray is not so much beloved by me.

now a days it is the position of muslims. prophet (sw) married some woman who were widow or or. but now a days even big shiekhs dont want to marry a widow or bad looking girl. one time a mufti saab was telling me for searching a good girl. then i told him that i have a aunty who is widow or divorced.then he told me : no, no search for me a 18 years old good girl. though he had allready a wife who is alse near 18.

if a person are really eager to practise this sunnah then he should also follow how prophet (sw) did it. was he married 2 virgin girl?
as long as i know may be only ayesha(rw) was virgin or i mean she was first married to prophet (sw) and other wives were widow or divorced.

now a days how many people are ready to marry widow or divorced woman only for sake of allah?

 

[MOHAMED KAY]

2nd wife

ASSALAMUALAIKUM DEAR BROTHERS/SISTERS

This is one of those tough question. I would love to have 2nd wife but in my country we have to seek permission from our 1st wife then only the office of Khadi will approve it. And it is not easy to convince our wife.

Wassalam

 

[OmarTheFrench]

So accept her choice