al-muslimah
Junior Member
:salam2:
Hope this reaches you in the best eman and health.
Brothers and sisters I need some help in this please. There is a brother who asked for my hand. So this is like the first step before marriage. Second step before marriage is when me, he and my parents get together, and start asking questions to see if our personalities match. He might be coming next week. I'm so afraid of this step and so not ready. I mean what are the type of questions that I really have to ask him? I already made up about ten. But I'm not sure if they work. I want help especially from the brothers and sisters who are married here and have experience.
What I need is indirect questions to know his personality and a lot about him.
Like I don't want to ask him: "are you generous?" I'd rather ask him what does "sadaka" mean to you? (Am I making sense? It's like I see his concept of sadaka and if he puts it in his priorities, for I'll know he's generous) hope you got what I'm talking about. ^^that was one of my questions.
Here are some more questions I wrote:
What do you look for in a wife?
Will you keep a pet at home? (Here I'll know if he likes animals since I love them) my sister told me it's too early to ask him this question. What do you think?
Why did you choose me as a potential spouse? (Is that good?)
What do your friends think of you? (I don't know, will he answer this? Since many people don’t like to talk about themselves...brothers, will you answer this if you were in his place?)
In what do you spend your free time?
Do you want to have children? (Maybe early?)
How do you treat your parents?
Who do you look up for?
What makes you happy? (okay?)
fun to be with?
do you suffer from any disease?(???)
I really have no idea if my questions are appropriate. I want more questions.
I want smart questions to see if he('s)...:
Faithful
has sense of humour
Truthful
Friendly
Kind
Generous( maybe you have another idea)
Love kids
Cheerful
Mokhlis( don’t know the exact translation for this..its like doing everything SO neat..even Allah those who are mokhlis and motqin(in other words) for example: if they were cleaning a room..they wont clean it from outside and throw rubbish behind things..they would clean everything from inside and outside..another example: I have a test tomorrow, being mokhlis I would study each word and knowing everything. (I really care if my husband was mokhlis or not)
Peaceful
Honest
Keeps secrets
Talkative/silent
Confident
Strict
Organised
Healthy
smart
Strong
Ambitious
Optimistic
creative
Control his feelings
active/lazy
Maybe someone could help me out..inshallah this wont only help me, this thread will help many other Muslims out there reaching for help.. as i think this is the most important part in the Muslim marriage..
Jazakum allahu khayran for all those who help.:shymuslima1:
p.s: since I'm sometimes shy to talk to a man face to face..is it okay if i printed out all the questions and then ask him to fill it and put his answers?then he'll give it back once he's done
Hope this reaches you in the best eman and health.
Brothers and sisters I need some help in this please. There is a brother who asked for my hand. So this is like the first step before marriage. Second step before marriage is when me, he and my parents get together, and start asking questions to see if our personalities match. He might be coming next week. I'm so afraid of this step and so not ready. I mean what are the type of questions that I really have to ask him? I already made up about ten. But I'm not sure if they work. I want help especially from the brothers and sisters who are married here and have experience.
What I need is indirect questions to know his personality and a lot about him.
Like I don't want to ask him: "are you generous?" I'd rather ask him what does "sadaka" mean to you? (Am I making sense? It's like I see his concept of sadaka and if he puts it in his priorities, for I'll know he's generous) hope you got what I'm talking about. ^^that was one of my questions.
Here are some more questions I wrote:
What do you look for in a wife?
Will you keep a pet at home? (Here I'll know if he likes animals since I love them) my sister told me it's too early to ask him this question. What do you think?
Why did you choose me as a potential spouse? (Is that good?)
What do your friends think of you? (I don't know, will he answer this? Since many people don’t like to talk about themselves...brothers, will you answer this if you were in his place?)
In what do you spend your free time?
Do you want to have children? (Maybe early?)
How do you treat your parents?
Who do you look up for?
What makes you happy? (okay?)
fun to be with?
do you suffer from any disease?(???)
I really have no idea if my questions are appropriate. I want more questions.
I want smart questions to see if he('s)...:
Faithful
has sense of humour
Truthful
Friendly
Kind
Generous( maybe you have another idea)
Love kids
Cheerful
Mokhlis( don’t know the exact translation for this..its like doing everything SO neat..even Allah those who are mokhlis and motqin(in other words) for example: if they were cleaning a room..they wont clean it from outside and throw rubbish behind things..they would clean everything from inside and outside..another example: I have a test tomorrow, being mokhlis I would study each word and knowing everything. (I really care if my husband was mokhlis or not)
Peaceful
Honest
Keeps secrets
Talkative/silent
Confident
Strict
Organised
Healthy
smart
Strong
Ambitious
Optimistic
creative
Control his feelings
active/lazy
Maybe someone could help me out..inshallah this wont only help me, this thread will help many other Muslims out there reaching for help.. as i think this is the most important part in the Muslim marriage..
Jazakum allahu khayran for all those who help.:shymuslima1:
p.s: since I'm sometimes shy to talk to a man face to face..is it okay if i printed out all the questions and then ask him to fill it and put his answers?then he'll give it back once he's done