slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
:salam2:
I have a special request,
firstly please accept my apologize if i was mean to someone lately, I am sincerely really sorry, I haven't been myself lately.
But I think I should leave TTI for a while
Trust me brothers and sisters ive been trying really really hard to smile to everyone and keep smiling i just cant keep lying to myself right now I dont want to lie anymore You guyz are amazing but i feel like a hypocrit Im a honest person and im going against myself by smiling to everyone while being really upset.
Please i really really need ur dua's like please my brothers and sisters one dua from ur heart to help me out.
I have made so many changes in my life and its been so hard, i left all the friends and people i knew cuz they invite me to zina and drinking and gambling and I dont want to do that, I really dont -- I want to be a good muslim and its been just really really lonely.
I just dont know any good muslim in my real life except my mother , so u guyz mean alot to me thats why i dont want to say anything to anyone and hurt someone that would be my last intention.
I have been trying to be really tough but one step really backfired and left me shattered.
I just had a big decision come up, so i wanted to make sure i do everything according to ALlah (swt) plan i did istikhara times, did honest praying, I listened to imam and i read Quran to make sure this is the right thing to do
After sometime when i felt sure, from all direction I took the big decision, and it totally backed fired on me, I lost what i previously had too , it has just left me so shattered
also, same day i got my result and i just found out i failed 2 of my exams i dont understand why i studied so so so so so hard
I looked at my exams and i knew all the answers im not sure wat i wrote or why i wrote that felt like i cant understand english, its been so stressful
than i cant even be home cuz everyone has been making fun of me at home saying that im becoming an extremist and making fun of my beard that im trying to grow and everyone is against it
plus all the previous sins i use to do are coming back , im getting calls from all these weird girls, I found many notes in my backpack from girls that i didn't even see before
Like everythign around me is just crumbling SO PLZ I REALLY REALLY REALLY need dua please
But i wont be online for a while , cuz i just want to be ALONE, like just ALONE for a couple of days
Dont worry i keep reminding myself a person shud not despair from the mercy of Allah (swt), but i also know Allah (swt) does not change the condition of people till they change what is inside them.
I just dont understand i had changed every thing about me
Please forgive me if i was rude or mad at someone or said something impolite, My heart is pure and honest i have nothing against anyone, I just need to remember I came in this world alone and will leave ALONE.
and please help me be guided, cuz i try to seek Allah (swt) help especially for this big decision i did but im all broken up now and i dont understand why did it happens i spend alot of time making sure i do the right thing just that WHY wont leave me alone
JazakAllah khair for listening, Please pray for me too
May Allah (swt) help everyone - ameen
(PS: sorry for making this thread i thought i owe everyone and apology and since ur the only friends and family i got i just wanted to share)
I have a special request,
firstly please accept my apologize if i was mean to someone lately, I am sincerely really sorry, I haven't been myself lately.
But I think I should leave TTI for a while
Trust me brothers and sisters ive been trying really really hard to smile to everyone and keep smiling i just cant keep lying to myself right now I dont want to lie anymore You guyz are amazing but i feel like a hypocrit Im a honest person and im going against myself by smiling to everyone while being really upset.
Please i really really need ur dua's like please my brothers and sisters one dua from ur heart to help me out.
I have made so many changes in my life and its been so hard, i left all the friends and people i knew cuz they invite me to zina and drinking and gambling and I dont want to do that, I really dont -- I want to be a good muslim and its been just really really lonely.
I just dont know any good muslim in my real life except my mother , so u guyz mean alot to me thats why i dont want to say anything to anyone and hurt someone that would be my last intention.
I have been trying to be really tough but one step really backfired and left me shattered.
I just had a big decision come up, so i wanted to make sure i do everything according to ALlah (swt) plan i did istikhara times, did honest praying, I listened to imam and i read Quran to make sure this is the right thing to do
After sometime when i felt sure, from all direction I took the big decision, and it totally backed fired on me, I lost what i previously had too , it has just left me so shattered
also, same day i got my result and i just found out i failed 2 of my exams i dont understand why i studied so so so so so hard
I looked at my exams and i knew all the answers im not sure wat i wrote or why i wrote that felt like i cant understand english, its been so stressful
than i cant even be home cuz everyone has been making fun of me at home saying that im becoming an extremist and making fun of my beard that im trying to grow and everyone is against it
plus all the previous sins i use to do are coming back , im getting calls from all these weird girls, I found many notes in my backpack from girls that i didn't even see before
Like everythign around me is just crumbling SO PLZ I REALLY REALLY REALLY need dua please
But i wont be online for a while , cuz i just want to be ALONE, like just ALONE for a couple of days
Dont worry i keep reminding myself a person shud not despair from the mercy of Allah (swt), but i also know Allah (swt) does not change the condition of people till they change what is inside them.
I just dont understand i had changed every thing about me
Please forgive me if i was rude or mad at someone or said something impolite, My heart is pure and honest i have nothing against anyone, I just need to remember I came in this world alone and will leave ALONE.
and please help me be guided, cuz i try to seek Allah (swt) help especially for this big decision i did but im all broken up now and i dont understand why did it happens i spend alot of time making sure i do the right thing just that WHY wont leave me alone
JazakAllah khair for listening, Please pray for me too
May Allah (swt) help everyone - ameen
(PS: sorry for making this thread i thought i owe everyone and apology and since ur the only friends and family i got i just wanted to share)